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ali Mar 2017
your hair was brown when i met you
and it was just long enough to spill over your shoulder
like hot coffee on a Monday morning.
he broke up with you in October
and you showed up 3 days later
with the split ends that always tickled my arm chopped off
and dyed an angry, passive-aggressive red
like some kind of statement, a confessional
because in 10th grade
ditching you at the movies
feels like he's just left you at the altar
and you started holding my hand
and losing sleep
over him
while i started falling in love
with you
*
365 days later
we aren't talking anymore
and i feel like i'm being suffocated
but then you text me at 11 pm
and i say, "we haven't spoken in months"
and you say, "he broke up with me"
and just like that
every shade of your hair
and the way it used to catch in the sunlight
fills up the gaps between my fingers
where yours used to be.
and when i see you the next day
your hair is shorter than it was in the summer
and it's dyed an official, goodbye black
ali Mar 2017
they say not to set yourself on fire
to keep someone warm
but i am aware
that my bones are ablaze
my blood is boiling
and i can't feel the flames licking at my skin
i am spreading myself thin
engulfing myself in flames
that turn into a wildfire
i am dissolving in front of their eyes
but they are too busy
enjoying my warmth to notice
that i am crumbling into
hollow bones and cracked skin
a fragile frame that can turn into smoking ashes
at the slightest touch
so stay far enough way
to still feel my warmth
to keep yourself sane
but don't get closer
because i cannot risk
the burn
ali Mar 2017
you say that i am your sun
because i am the center of your universe
and touching my skin gives you warmth.
i know that you are my moon
because you are always beside me when i am awake at 3 am
and you light my path home when i am stumbling
and drunk on you.
together we are an eclipse
one touch can send the whole world up in flames
i will always rise in the east
and set in the west
and we will never revolve around anyone else
but each other
ali Mar 2017
i wish they were just sticks and stones
because you cannot fix a heart
like a broken bone
you cannot put it in a cast
and force it back into place
a smile is not a band-aid
it's a mask
you were wearing me down from the start
butterflies bursting through my heart
your heavy heart is not a home
just a place for your worn-down soul to roam
i don't cry anymore, you've stolen all of my tears
but i still feel those butterflies kicking when you're near
i'm drinking tea and crossing out your name
i'm picking petal off of flowers just to keep myself sane
i'm reading books you would hate
and staying up way too late
i guess winter brought you down
and spring was never enough
i am a star hanging off of a paper moon
and you are laying in your backyard with her
and looking right through me
ali Feb 2017
the truth is you were never satisfied
because all you wanted to do was see me fight
but when you tried to steal my heart
i had already ripped it out of my chest for you
and when you threw words at me like daggers
just to see me cry
i was too lost in your eyes to hear
how much you hated me
ali Feb 2017
you tell me i'm beautiful
and i don't feel anything
except maybe a little bit of resentment
you tell me i'm perfect
and i think about the coffee stained mug sitting in the sink
what did i eat today?
there are three wrinkled wrappers of leftover christmas chocolate in my trash can
you ask how i'm doing
and i wonder if i had any water today
no one ever told me
about trying to love someone
when you have an anchor tied to your ankle
do i feel nothing for you
or do i feel nothing at all?
is there a difference?
ali Feb 2017
planets sprout from the ground
venus is picked up by a boy with nothing but good intentions
stars fall from the sky, and i reach out my tongue to taste them
i tell you i think we need to learn how to
dance in the stars,
tiptoe through the milky way,
tap dance along the constellations
we walk on ceilings here
and we sleep when the sun comes up
everything is backwards
upside down
flipped on its head
we walk on clouds
and we smile when we are sad,
and you tell me you love me
you have always loved me
you will always love me
everything is backwards.
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