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 May 2016 ej
simo
scattering
 May 2016 ej
simo
the rain reminds me of the lights you said you could see from your window at night
i distinctly remember thinking
this is all ill ever be
this is the best ill ever get

and everything is wrong
and everything I say is a lie
But i don't think ill live that long

i don't want to fight anymore
the orange light is reminding me that
ill never go home
and my feet are cold and sore

im tactful im resourceful
and ill shut my eyes when i need to
 Apr 2016 ej
simo
IVE RESORTED TO WRITING WORDS I DONT BELIEVE
IN ORDER TO EVENTUALLY BELIEVE THEM

IVE REREAD EVERY FORTUNE COOKIE UNTIL MY EYES BLED
AND THERES A PERMANENT DENT IN MY PHONE
FROM THE AMOUNTS OF TIMES IVE PRESSED REPLAY ON MY "HAPPY" PLAYLIST

WHEN I TELL MYSELF ILL BE 100% OK
I HONESTLY DONT BELIEVE A WORD I SAY
BUT ISNT IT BETTER TO WISH FOR THE BEST
EVEN IF YOURE CERTAIN THE WORST WILL OCCUR

THE SMILE I GAVE YOU WHEN YOU INSULTED ME
MAY HAVE BEEN FAKE
BUT FAKE FEELS SO MUCH BETTER THEN BEING BITTER
trying to write a poem everyday
 Apr 2016 ej
Allyson Walsh
He's been wearing white
For the past few months
Trying to prove
That he is blameless

I like to think there's
A cast on his knee
Because he prayed for
Forgiveness... and me

I'm sure there's a frown
Painted on his face
Due to the lack of
What we used to be

Karma's out to knock
Him off of his throne
No sympathy when
He comes crashing down
For WY

In the words of Justin Timberlake...

Also, Cry Me a River
 Apr 2016 ej
simo
it's taken a while for me to realize that
im not as deep as i seem
im a poser, a fake if you will
im pretentious and i gloat and spew garbage just like the rest of us
and i know i can be so much better

i know im not taking care of myself as best i should
and honestly, i know it doesn't all go uphill from here
it's rocky and treacherous
it's down, up, and down again
it's getting up and dusting yourself off

i ******* up
ive gotten bad again

but this turn in the cycle won't stop me
i can't change the weather
but i can alter the atmosphere

we are all wanderers,
climbing this rocky mountain
it's never-ending and there's no peak
but if you tilt your head and change your perspective
it all gets a bit smoother  

let me tell you again kid,
you're not as deep as you think you are
and you're not as sad as you think you are

rock bottom is not a fun place to be
you can't control your battles
but you sure as hell can fight
 Apr 2016 ej
simo
reverse psychology
 Apr 2016 ej
simo
wow
we really need to stop meeting like this -
- in the back of my mind, you strewn across the hardwood floor, me, watching you.
there is so much you'd rather be doing, but ive got one foot on your neck
and the other on the keys

we're never getting out
it's just you and me and the four walls that bind us

i keep going back here, with you again
and everytime i get out im left drenched with guilt

it's funny how i declare how much I want to start living
when im killing myself in the process

it's unintentional though, but i guess that's the equivalent of me saying
"i can stop whenever i want"
i can't
and if the devil is controlling these motives
***** him !!

ive lived in this home for too long to be witty and edgy and declare that
i wanna go to hell!!

i don't
but hell is this feeling, it's guilty
it's you and you know it

leave me alone for like, 30 days
then come back to haunt me again
i could be ur devil
or ur angle ;)
 Apr 2016 ej
Mikoarenas
I'm tired of this fake reality.
This non existent world I call home.
This fantasy where whales fly with the wind while woodpeckers swim with the waves.
A place that Impossible scenarios call home.

Exhaustion takes me there every night.
I've studied this place and I know how it works now.
It's not a home for impossible scenarios but a place for false hope.
It takes your memories and creates fantasies that'll never turn into actualities.
I've noticed this so I've stop trying to go there.

These nightmarish places disguised as fascinating fantasies are no interest to me anymore.
I'm leaving this hellish place behind but I'm not going to leave without something.

I'm not going to let my nightmares runaway with years of my dreams.
I will drag something good out of this situation because my teacher told me to write a celebration.
When in reality
For me at least
That is almost unachievable.
Key word almost

All I have ever wrote is depressing poems crafted by a beautiful mind using sinful words.
So I ask myself:
How is this possible?
How does one take a hellish situation and find hope?
How does one go outside their comfort zone?
What am I going to do?

I've tried before.
It only stuck me in second place at my freshmen year slam which ***** because I finally know I'm much more then some ******* second place at a freshmen year slam.
I just wish I knew that early.
So I wouldn't have to have these emotional scars, and physic.

They have returned, day after day, week after week, year after year.
But I am done.
I'm going to find something good in these nightmares if it kills me.

I've taken these emotional scars and taught myself to deal with them.
These scars that are unseeable can't restrain me anymore.

You see, I finally now how to give celebration to these corrupted dream catchers that live inside my head.
These Permanent EMPs that block dreams and not nightmares.
These things that have created unwanted dates with unwanted "dreams".
I've experienced anything and everything there.
So if I'm gonna pull anything from this hellish place.
It's experience.
I've played this game of life hundreds of times and I finally know the level nows.
I know where not to go.
I know what not to do.
And I know who not to talk to.

You see these things are just thoughts from my broken guardian angel trying to warn me about the bad things in life.
The things in life that broke her and made her unrepairable.
She does not want that for me.

So thank you broken guardian angel for stealing my dreams and making them nightmares.
I've only just realized that these nightmares are metaphors for hard life lessons.
This was suppose to be an Ode for my English class but I kinda went over board :/
 Apr 2016 ej
Olivia L
I am smart
I am brave
I am confident
I am strong
I am loved

I am smart
Smart enough to know that I control my emotions
Not the other way around
Smart enough to understand that every crack
In my soul will heal eventually
Smart enough to acknowledge that life isn’t easy
And if it was I’d be bored as Hell

I am brave
Brave enough to be able to cross the street
Without holding someone’s hand
Brave enough to stand up
And walk down an unlit street at night
Brave because if I’m not, I won’t be able
To protect myself and the ones I love

I am confident
Confident to wear what I want
Because if other people don’t like it, I don’t care because it sure as Hell’s not on their bodies
Confident because even though I may feel lost when thinking about the future, that doesn't mean I’m not gonna kick *** at whatever I do
Confident because as long as I do what I love
There’s no way I can ever go wrong

I am strong
Stronger than two days ago
When I was broken
Stronger than every time I let one word
Or phrase break my soul
Stronger than yesterday
When a single note could conjure tears

I am strong
I am strong enough to put on my band-aids by myself
I don’t need mommy to cover up the blood
I am strong enough to put down the pain
And pick up a pen as a new way of escape
I am strong enough to pull a blanket around my shoulders
And glue my courage back into my body to keep going one more day

And I am loved
I am loved by the people surrounding me
With every word and touch they give
I am loved not because of my face and appearance
But because of my soul and my kindness
I am loved through every freeway and pothole
In this highway we all are rolling down

But most importantly
I am loved by myself
I am loved by myself
I love every inch of my body,
My mind
My soul
My heart.
And even without first having
Intelligence
Bravery
Courage
Or Strength
Having love creates it all
For love is the strongest support
Slam Poem this year
 Apr 2016 ej
Olivia L
Paradox
 Apr 2016 ej
Olivia L
I am a paradox

Paradox
Noun  
par·a·dox \ˈper-ə-ˌdäks, ˈpa-rə-\
                 -One (as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases

I as a person claim to desire physical contact and love
But as soon as I obtain these my skin crawls and my heart clenches and I am filled with an overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety

While I have a crushing, nearly debilitating fear of public speaking, I can stand on a stage and sing or act before billions of people.

Constantly I wish to share my whole life with others
While simultaneously coveting secrecy and hiding my burdens and fears and flaws from those who could heal and help and dissuade

Paradox
Noun  
par·a·dox \ˈper-ə-ˌdäks, ˈpa-rə-\
something (such as a situation) that is made up of two opposite things and that seems impossible but is actually true or possible

I am a paradox
And its hard for even me to makes sense of myself
 Apr 2016 ej
Joanna Rose
Her voice is the only sound that doesn't cause my head to ache

Her smile is the purest thing I've ever seen

And her lips are a gateway to heaven

Like an indescribable cure she does more healing than the pills ever could

Pain has no business being in my heart when her hands are on my skin

Our days spent together seem to stop time

The pink sunset skies I see outside my windows are eternal

The songs of the birds no longer sound generic

She creates beauty in the simplest places

She is everything
This is basically an extremely different version of my poem Her Voice.
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