This ship is going
to sink despite the fact that
I can hold my breath

6:26 PM
15/8/21

De-center them.
De-center anyone and everyone
who gives you the slightest shred of doubt.
De-center from those you need to
and center on yourself.

I suppose you think
that your coldness comes from the
warmth of your heart?

2:31 PM
22/8/21

Dear diary;
looks like it's
another night of
staring at the guitar,
wishing and wondering if
these **** hands can translate
the beautiful chaos
raging in this head.

Who are you?
I do not know you,
yet you come to me
in my dreams and leave me
wanting more.

This life
is everchanging
but I will be here,
always.

Dear diary;
I am still learning to
let go of that of which I
have no control over or that
remains in the past.
Some days are harder than others
to accept things the way they are
and not the way I had hoped
they could be.

"We are here for you, always."
"You can tell us anything, always."
"We are so glad you are in our lives."
"We love you, we care for you."
"We will never leave you."
"We are your friends, always."
Liars.

Your soul
is a sunflower-
that's why you light up
any room that you enter.
Your light beats to the rhythm of the sun,
a radiance that sparks joy to those
whose eyes are lucky enough
to reflect your light.

I miss you
like a dolphin
misses that breath
of fresh air to sustain itself
in the unforgiving depths
of the ocean,
and tonight,
my bed lies at the
bottom of the ocean.

The first night we spent together
was heavenly.
How we arrived in this Hell,
I will never
understand.

I wonder what the
prettiest colour in the world is.
I think it is a mix of the hues in your eyes
and those teeth the moon could only
dream of shining so brightly
when you smile at me.

Time and distance may have frayed
what we had, and what we could have had.
Yet I am still missing you and
missing what could've been and
missing what will never be.
And even though you are far away now,
just know that you are in my thoughts,
that you are in my heart,
that you are wanted by my side.

Dear Diary;
I failed again.
Somehow I can’t learn how to
love others the way that
I want to be loved.
I am the enemy of
my own story.

You planted
sunflowers in this heart,
each one blossoming
a dream, a smile, a memory.
You touch this heart
and I am consumed
by love and
by light.

Even though
I love you hard,
it is still so
easy.

I had never
felt more 'me'
than when I
was 'yours'

What is so sad
about nostalgia is
how it leaves one frozen
in time.

There is no soul,
it is merely an illusion
we have created to
project our desires in death onto
in hopes of an afterlife.

I don't think
I could ever fit in.
Sometime I feel I was born
to walk alone...
and that is okay.
I have known solitude
all my life and
thought some people will
never understand...
that is okay.

I hope I wake up
when this nightmare is over-
it's taking so long

8:17 PM
14/3/23

Sometimes its best to
forget when remembering
is just too painful

7:52 PM
25/8/22

I either feel too
much or I don't feel at all-
there is no between

11:58 PM
28/6/22

Has anyone flown
up to the stars to make sure
they were not replaced?

7:16 AM
2/11/23

you are a sunflower that
coats this ground in petals.
They form a path for me to follow,
a path that will always bring me
back to you.

My heart
is a field of sunflowers-
she leaves no petal
unpollinated.

I find myself lost in the cosmos
from time to time.
Sometimes, I feel too far gone
to ever return to Earth
but that's okay,
the galaxies caress me in a
strange but splendid
silence.

How hard it is to
want you and not have you
since you are not here

9:18 AM
24/9/23

I want my poems
to fall like seeds in your mind
and sprout like flowers

6:11 PM
7/6/22

Not even the rain
could stop you from brightening
up this dreary day

6:37 PM
26/7/20

I want to wrap “I love you,"
onto every curl on your head
so that you can hear a chorus of
"I Love you's" each time with each
brush plucking your hair like a harp.

By midnight,
I watched you fall
asleep,
as you watched me fall
in love.

In this heart I hold your smile
every second of every minute
of every hour of every day
as its warmth and joy
will nourish this soul.

Another day of
wishing these words belonged to
a special someone

5:42 PM
30/8/21

When are you coming home?
I am still in the same place you abandoned me.
It is not distance that separates us,
but you who drives the rift.
How do you not see it?
The longer we isolate,
the more we suffer.
Are you happy like this?
Lost in separation?
It is not only I that you have lost,
but this family,
this love,
yourself...

If you make a heart
your home then surely you too
will end up homeless

8:10 PM
18/7/22

Not all goodbyes
are considered a loss.
Rather than see it as a separation,
See it as an opportunity
to start anew.

You and I
are different people now.
Maybe if we met again
it would be like meeting
for the first time
all over again.

Dear diary;
Today was
a good day to die.
But worry not,
ready or not,
I'm going to
live young
and die fast.

I cannot believe
that you cannot believe that
you are amazing

7:32 PM
25/5/22

We do not get a
lot to truly care about
in this ruthless world

8:23 PM
22/7/21

Call me in the early
hours of the morning
and maybe,
just maybe,
my heart will
find another place
for you.

I find myself
in the same winter grave
year after year.
Lucky for me,
it's not too cold
for me to claw my way
back into the warm arms
of summer.

I am so submerged in solitude
that I longer feel the need to resurface.
I have found a home at the bottom,
in desolation and darkness.
I do not need those above,
nor do I want to belong to a
sun that scorched me so
very long ago.

Nothing exists in
me that does not know your name-
you are all I know

4:31 PM
21/1/22

As far as dumb,
stupid, careless love, no one
did it quite like us

4:28 PM
13/1/21

How can you say you're
empty when the universe
is inside of you?

4:16 PM
18/5/22

This heartache screams your name,
a thrashing storm that leaves
this heart in ruin.
Your thunder has
sliced open this heart
but these memories are made of sunshine.

Your smile still
shines like a sunflower
and only your laughter
can bloom this heart.

I will plant you
fields of sunflowers
that spell out your name
if you promise to
keep them
in bloom.