You are like the happiness and energy I get from drugs, only you're not one and unfortunately you aren't at my convenience.

You are as beautiful as every sunset I've seen in my entire life combined, as amazing as all of them. But unfortunately you're not a sunset, and I don't get to see you every night.

You are as calming as every light rainstorm and slow moving stream that I wish would never end and I don't want to leave.

You were not light blue and I wasn't red.
We did not collide and produce a lilac sky.
We were black.
Never first, the secondary colours of light mixed together
to produce black.
We were a dark nothing.
We collided and produced a blank white canvas,
for us to get our own shades of paint and throw on it.
For us to produce whatever colour sky we want.

I wish I was like the sun.
Bright and able to be the centre of attention.
To bring happiness and good times
But instead I'm like the moon, trying so desperately to hide, so I show myself when most people aren't looking.
The moon painted in the sky with so many scattered stars, but still so lonely
Like the moon that helps with nothing but the dark, that most people don't accompany, and I am full of

https://youtu.be/7E9s-Fpq44I

not sure how this is going to work, but I wrote a slam poem and would like if you checked it out (copy and paste the link above)

I know you haven't noticed, but lately I've been a wreck.
My mornings are earlier than needed,
because it takes forever to get out of bed.
They're full of anger and crying,
because sadness is there too,
but none of this is noticed by anyone, not even you.
School days are full of panic
and mood swings that result in me being a *****,
so I'm sorry to anyone I encounter and make feel like ****.
Although I hate school, home is equally as tough.
Not that it is anyone's fault, my time here is just rough.
I don't get along with anyone,
and I'm constantly starting fights.
Whenever I'm in this house,
nothing feels alright.
Every second feels like I'm battling
something i cant even see,
I'm just waiting for the day my heart stops,
and finally sets me free.

I just want to ******* scream at you
and explain everything im feeling
until my throat is raw and my veins are swollen.
I want to scream at you until your hands are shaking
and you finally realize how much you ******* mean to me.
But the problem is the sight of you makes me feel sick
and speaking to you sounds worse to me than my heartbeat.
At the same time though, I love it
and that's even worse because i know
you don't ******* care.