People don't understand how hard it is.

Although I try to explain.

I just can't seem to reach them.

Nothing left but pain.

I miss it...

I miss the feeling of it.

The blade sliding across my skin.

Seeing the red against my pale skin.

The release I get from it.

I miss it more than anything.

Please give me strength to not.

Looking at your beautiful face,
I never knew I could fall so hard.
Never knew I could possibly love someone so much.
My love for you burns brighter than all of the stars combined.
My love for you will never end.
Even if you stop loving me, I shall not.
I will go to the end of the universe for you and always will.
Forever and always, my love.

the blood will drain from your face
you will finally feel
what its like to return
to the numb life
you will notice their stares, you will comprehend the words
but you will not care
nor will you care about the hand out trying to help
because you
are
numb
and as you have now returned to this state
the thoughts they return as well
because you are numb but not mute
they will not know
or realize
what you have become until they are there themselves

you are a mistake
go cut yourself
go **** yourself
you are nothing
you are a failure
you are fat
your are revolting fat disgusting nasty
you are stupid
go away
go die in a hole
you are a mistake a mistake a mistake
they regret you
you are nothing
you are nothing at all
a failure
...
chuckles
laugh
the teacher looks away quickly
...
that one girl gives you a sheepish look
...
he continues.
they laugh.
...
you are silent.
...
he knows.
...
he is aware.
...
she is hiding, but he found her.
...
it is done.
...
they are gone.
...
the voices they stay.
...
her smile still intact
...
...
...
home.
...
no one is home.
...
...
...
the gun its downstairs, the knife that big one its in the drawer.
why not appease them?
all her medication just sitting there.
...
...
...
it is done.
they are gone.
the voices they remain.
the glances they stayed away.
...
...
...
and still she is here.
with that oh so big smile.
...
yet, why are they all looking for her body?
...