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mia Nov 2018
you were different
i let myself feel things that i normally don't
you said things you shouldn't have
and when i ask you about them, you get annoyed
or say you don't want to think about it
"love you mia, i always will," you say
yet you're still with her
"i would go crazy if i couldn't have you as a friend,"
yet you are perfectly fine on the days we don't speak
you said you dreamt about us cuddling and that it felt amazing
you also said that when you dream about her,
they're never as good
and yet i still see you in the halls
holding hands with her,
hugging her,
kissing her
that really ******* hurts.
regardless, i would still give you another chance
and maybe that's my own problem, but it's true
i tend to put walls up
and as hard as i tried to not let them fall,
you broke through them
you.
people don't typically show romantic interest in me
so when you did, it scared me
i have a bad fear of people leaving
but i told myself that you were different
i don't really know why
maybe it's because you make me laugh like no one else does
maybe it's because the way you say my name
or maybe it's because i could see us being together for a long time
maybe because you give me a sense of hope
i don't know what is but you make me feel like i have a real chance of being happy
i wish you would've given us a real chance
and as frustrated as i am,
i'm still hoping that you'll give us a chance one day
you met her parents this past weekend
i wonder how it went
part of me wants to be happy for you
but another part of me hopes that it doesn't work out
so that the likelihood of us being together increases
i know it's wrong,
that if i really care about you i should just want you to be happy
but i can't help but feel jealous
it's like i was just something you could play with
whenever you were bored,
or lonely
but no more
and to think
i thought that i was falling in love with you
you were supposed to be different.
this is my first time publishing a poem in almost three years, im sorry if it's messy.
Jan 2016 · 401
Untitled
mia Jan 2016
WHY DO I LIKE YOU SO MUCH
WHY ARE YOU ON MY MIND CONSTANTLY
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
WHY MUST YOUR LAUGH BE SO ****** cUtE
WHY MUST YOUR SMILE LiGHt uP MY LIFE
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
WHY DON'T YOU FEEL THE SAME ABOUT ME.
**** this is so ****** but @ my crush
Dec 2015 · 277
Untitled
mia Dec 2015
maybe i wanna hold your hand
and kiss your lips.
maybe i wanna wake up to your face
and fall asleep in your arms.
maybe i wanna go on cute dates
and maybe i want you to spontaneously
show up at my door step.
maybe you are my first thought when i
awake and
maybe you are my last thought when i fall
asleep.
maybe i want to talk about society and
politics and why we are even here on this
massive universe in the first place.
maybe i just wanna be yours.
12/22/15
Dec 2015 · 324
Untitled
mia Dec 2015
beautiful.
sweet.
kind.
loving.
cute.
handsome.
adorable.
understanding.
re­liable.
these are a few of the many words that
pop into my head when i think of you.
12/20/15
haven't posted anything in months, so here is a poem about the boy i like. really happy that i finally moved on from my ex.
Oct 2015 · 369
idrk.
mia Oct 2015
i don't really know why i miss you so ******* much.
i don't really know why you are all i ever ******* think about.
i don't really know why it still hurts.
i don't really know why i still love you.
i don't really know why i still care about you.
i don't really know why i still want you.

i should hate you.
you broke my heart,
you ******* tore me apart.

i think i'll always love and think about you,
regardless of how much it hurts.
it's almost been four months.
Sep 2015 · 504
it's time.
mia Sep 2015
it's time.
it has been three months.
you have moved on.
you have found someone else.
you even admitted you never loved me.
i should let you go.
it's time.

*but i can't let you go.
i miss you, but *******.
Aug 2015 · 768
i used to.
mia Aug 2015
i used to write poems about my love for you,
and now,
i write poems about the pain of losing you.
i used to be somewhat happy,
and now,
i cry myself to sleep every ******* night.
i used to spend every second of every day talking to you,
and now,
i spend every second of everyday hoping and wishing you will text me.
**you were the reason for my happiness,
and now,
you are the reason for my sadness.
i feel like this is such a ****** piece but *******, i miss him.
mia Aug 2015
i was never in love with you, i just
couldn't accurately describe the color
of your eyes. they weren't blue but
they weren't green either. maybe they
were a blue green? no, definitely not.
i was never in love with you, my heart
just beat so fat it could basically
jump out of my chest when your
fingers brushed against my thigh, and
were between mine.
i was never in love with you, i just
couldn't get you off my mind.
i was never in love with you, i just
stared at your lips while you spoke,
and even when you weren't speaking.
your lips that used to be pressed to
mine. the trails of kisses you left still
burning my skin.
i was never in love with you, it just felt
like i was.
(who am i kidding, i loved you with all i had,)
this poem is not mine, i take no credit. all credit goes to @wastedpoems on Instagram (: definitely check the page out !!
Aug 2015 · 383
i was wrong.
mia Aug 2015
i thought being with you would be okay.
i thought i was going to be alright, happy even, with you around.
i thought we were going to last forever.
i thought you would never be the one to ruin me.
i thought of you as the one who would never hurt me.
but *******, i was wrong.
i was so ******* wrong.
i miss you so ******* much.
Jun 2015 · 331
i miss you.
mia Jun 2015
i miss you.
i miss the way you always held out your hand when you wanted to interlock your fingers with mine, as if you needed permission.
i miss the way you held me tightly whenever we hugged, like you never wanted to let go.
i miss the way you looked at me with so much love and happiness in your eyes.
i miss the way you smiled so big whenever we spoke.
i miss the way you used all these different big words whenever you told me how much you cared about me. i had to look up the meaning of those words every time.
i miss the way you looked at me when i laughed, you looked so happy.
please, come back.
i miss you.
Jun 2015 · 422
heartbreak.
mia Jun 2015
i am ******* lost without you,
i am a ******* mess.
i have cried,
i have broken down.
i haven't eaten,
i haven't slept.
i need you so much
and
you don't even realize it.
i miss you so much,
i am so desperate for you.
turn back to me.
*please.
i miss you.
Jun 2015 · 393
have you?
mia Jun 2015
have you ever thought that maybe i lied when i said i was okay?
have you ever thought that maybe i lied when i said i was getting better?
have you ever thought that maybe i lied when i said i haven't cut for months?
have you ever thought twice about something i said?
*have you ever ******* cared?
srry for all the **** poems, i have no one to talk to so i must express my feelings some how.
May 2015 · 348
mood rn
mia May 2015
kinda wanna jump off a bridge,
kinda wanna stick around and
see how my life turns out.
but what i really need
is for someone to
hug me,
and tell me that
every thing is going to be okay.
May 2015 · 749
suicide letter.
mia May 2015
sometimes,
people give up.
not in just in life,
in their peers,
in their family.
however,
i am one of those people
who give up on
*themselves.
i feel like this is **** but idrc lol
May 2015 · 344
you are.
mia May 2015
you are the reason for my uncontrollable laughter.
you are the reason for the smiles that cause my cheeks to hurt.
you are the reason for my heart racing at an unreasonable rate.
you are the reason for the butterflies in my stomach.
you are the reason for my happiness.
you are my everything.
dedicated to my love. ♡
May 2015 · 374
Untitled
mia May 2015
OH BOY AM I SAD.
NO ONE REALIZES HOW CLOSE I AM TO KILLING MYSELF.
PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG AND I TELL THEM THAT
I'M JUST HAVING A BAD DAY
WHEN IN FACT
I'M HAVING A BAD WEEK,
BAD MONTH,
BAD YEAR,
BAD LIFE.
I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN WEEKS,
THE BAGS UNDER MY EYES ARE HEAVIER THAN MY BOOK BAG.
BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE MY GRADES ARE MORE
IMPORTANT THAN MY MENTAL HEALTH, RIGHT?
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THE PAIN I FEEL AND
I CAN'T EVEN ******* EXPLAIN IT.
**** **** **** ****
WHY WON'T SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MY WORST ENEMY?
WHY WON'T SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF?
OH BOY AM I SAD.
writing is a ******* great outlet.
Apr 2015 · 287
Untitled
mia Apr 2015
I HAVE DECIDED ON YOU.
YOUR VOICE,
YOUR SMILE,
YOUR EYES,
THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT ME,
E V E R Y T H I N G.
YOU HAVE GOT THE ARMS I WANT TO BE IN.
YOUR SMILE IS SOMETHING I CAN NEVER WITHSTAND.
YOUR VOICE IS SOMETHING I COULD LISTEN TO HOURS ON END.
I HAVE DECIDED ON YOU, AND ONLY YOU.
it'll be my 10 month anniversary with someone this friday (may 1st 2015) and im really excited :-)) im going to write this out on paper and give it to him on friday! ah, the anticipation. cx
Mar 2015 · 324
i'm pretty.
mia Mar 2015
YOU MAY THINK I'M PRETTY AND I'LL ABSENTMINDEDLY AGREE // I'LL AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAY BUT NOT WITH WHAT YOU SEE // FOR I AM INDEED PRETTY// PRETTY TIRED // PRETTY WEAK // I AM ALSO PRETTY SAD // PRETTY DULL // PRETTY BLEAK // UPSET / BROKEN / LONELY / I'M PRETTY MUCH ALL THESE THINGS // SO YES, I'M VERY PRETTY BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU'D THINK.
A.M.D.
stolen from tumblr, credit is in the poem itself. explains the way i feel rn :/
Feb 2015 · 278
i can't sleep.
mia Feb 2015
as i lay wake up at 4 in the morning
i start thinking about you, although nothing new there.
and i wonder,
when you lay awake at night,
do you think about me?
Feb 2015 · 379
i rather.
mia Feb 2015
i rather have nothing with you than everything with anyone else.
i rather live in a tiny shoe box apartment with you than live in a mansion with anyone else.
i rather go through the sadness of not being able to see you on valentines day than go through the happiness of seeing anyone else.
i rather walk in silence with you than talk about the blandest of things with anyone else.
i could sit in absolute silence with you and still have the time of my life. everything is better when you are around, and sadly you are not, but that's okay. and well, i love you; more than you could ever know.
wooo, actually wrote an original. writing poems about people are quite fun. happy valentines day everyone, again cx
Feb 2015 · 480
Untitled
mia Feb 2015
every day
I write of
you
in flowers
hoping that
when I die
all that
will be placed
atop my grave
is a sea
of all
I ever
felt for
you
in spirit of valentines day, hope you all have a lovely day whether you're spending it alone or with your significant other. credit of this poem goes to the great and wonderful, Christopher Poindexter.
Feb 2015 · 346
Untitled
mia Feb 2015
I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD WHEN
MY MOM TOLD ME TO STAY
AWAY FROM FLAMES BECAUSE
THEY CAN BURN YOU EVEN
IF THEY LOOK PRETTY I WAS
FIFTEEN YEARS OLD WHEN I
FIRST SAW YOU AND KNEW
YOU WERE THE ONE FLAME
THAT WAS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO
STAY AWAY FROM NO MATTER
HOW MUCH IT HURTS.
also not mine but reminds me of someone.
Feb 2015 · 218
Untitled
mia Feb 2015
I CAN HEAR MY OWN HEARTBEAT
AND IT MAKES ME INSANELY LONELY
BECAUSE I WOULD RATHER HEAR YOURS.
not mine, just really like this.
Jan 2015 · 466
i hate the way.
mia Jan 2015
i hate the way you never talk to me anymore.
i hate the way you see me in the halls, you stare,
but you never speak.
what did i do wrong?
i hate the way you look so ******* happy with her.
did i not make you happy?
what did i do wrong?
i hate seeing he way you look at her with
so much love in your eyes.
i know because you used to look at me like that.
*please, tell me what i did wrong.
wrote this in math class on Friday, i think it's pretty ****** but here you go. c:
Jan 2015 · 195
Untitled
mia Jan 2015
I admit,
I was afraid
to love.
Not just love,
but to love her.
For she was a stunning
mystery. She carried things
deep inside her that no one
has yet to understand,
and I,
I was afraid to fail,
like the others.

She was the ocean
and I was just a boy
who loved the waves
but was completely
terrified to
swim.
not mine, originally written by Christopher Poindexter, he's my all time favorite poet. you should definitely check out his work if you haven't already. c:
Dec 2014 · 192
Untitled
mia Dec 2014
this is not a home.
this is not a place i want to be all the time.
this is not loving, or caring.
this,
this is a place with
*broken souls.
Dec 2014 · 239
this poem is not mine.
mia Dec 2014
One look at her
and I knew
I'd spend far too much time
trying to write a poem
as beautiful
as her.
as the title states, this poem is not mine. i really like it so i thought i'd share it. credit goes to the rightful owner. c:
Nov 2014 · 428
breathing.
mia Nov 2014
breathing.*
it's something we learn
how to do
from the moment
we are born.
yet,
i still manage to
forget every time i see
*you.
about this dude who attends my school. :p
Nov 2014 · 298
perhaps.
mia Nov 2014
perhaps you could fall in love with me.
perhaps you would fall for how my hair falls,
and
how i use my hands when talking about something i adore.
perhaps you could hold me in your arms.
perhaps you could play with my hair
and
hold my hands in yours.
perhaps you could think of me more than a friend.
perhaps you could take a second glance at me
when you see me in the halls.
*just perhaps.
i haven't published anything in so long, and i am so very sorry for that. i haven't been getting a lot of ideas, sadly. i'm going to be trying to publish poems a lot more often for you guys c:
Sep 2014 · 480
Untitled
mia Sep 2014
they always say that they'll never leave.
they always say that they'll always be here, no matter what.
they say that they'll believe in me, that they'll never lose hope.
they say that they'll never give up on me.
they say that they love and care about me.

*why do they keep lying?
i don't know how i feel about this, but, yeah. how i feel currently.
Sep 2014 · 191
Untitled
mia Sep 2014
she wants to say, "i love you," but keeps it to,
"i'll see you whenever."

he wants to say, "i miss holding you in my arms," but keeps it to,
"g'night."

they want to say, "i miss you so much," but they keep to themselves
in fear of losing each other.
i have to go to sleep soon and i'm cold and i'm sick and i just want to cuddle with my boyfriend in our underwear while eating Chinese food. but we don't always get what we want, do we?
Sep 2014 · 250
not a poem
mia Sep 2014
this isn't a poem but i just wanted to let you guys know that i've started school recently and i don't think i'll have time to write poems. also, i've been lacking creativity so that doesn't help either.

i'll publish a poem whenever i get ideas c:
Sep 2014 · 267
stars.
mia Sep 2014
i look up at the stars and smile
stars are beautiful.
just like you,
unlike myself.
i wish i was a star
i'd be away from everyone
and
i'd be *beautiful.
my first day of school is tomorrow. and since i was a lazy sack of **** all summer, i cleaned my book bag about 10 minutes ago. i found this poem in one of my old notebooks and thought i'd share it c:
Aug 2014 · 491
2 months clean.
mia Aug 2014
i haven't picked up the blade in 2 months.
i haven't dragged the blade across my skin in 2 months.
i haven't felt sad in 2 months.
i've been feeling okay for 2 months.
will this last?
or
will i go back to the way i was?
2 months clean today. felt like publishing something. hope this is okay c:
Aug 2014 · 324
to: him ♡
mia Aug 2014
i love you.
i love you more than stars in the sky
and
fish in the sea.
i love you more than Jack loved Rose
and i love you more than a male
loves his beer.
to a special dude who i love. i apologize if you find the "more than a male loves his beer" phrase if you find it offensive or stereotypical or something of the sort. after all, it's just a poem :)
Jul 2014 · 362
falling for you.
mia Jul 2014
"i love you,"* you said.
then why did you say, "i don't love you."
"i'll never leave you," you said.
then why did you say, "it's over. goodbye."
you made me fall for you. you made me believe that you fell for me, too.

you stole my heart and then you stomped on it thousands and thousands of times for your own pleasure.  **why?
haven't published any poems in a while. lately, i've been feeling somewhat okay and no poems have come to mind. i hope this is okay c:
Jun 2014 · 753
the things we say.
mia Jun 2014
we say we're just tired.
we say it was just the cat.
we say we're not hungry.
we say we're doing okay.
but are we just tired?
was it just the cat?
are we hungry?
are we okay?
the truth is,
**we're all mad here.
Jun 2014 · 405
save me.
mia Jun 2014
save me
from the darkest place.
save me
from myself.
idk how i feel about this, i was stressing in school to write a new poem and this just came to mind. thoughts?
Jun 2014 · 378
Untitled
mia Jun 2014
i'm like an actor
comes in the morning and
i start my act
joy and smiles
no care in the world
but when the sun goes down
my act is over
depression and anxiety taking
over everything
that's what's wrong with me
goes to my mind
no more acting time.
my best friend Kaylin wrote this; i think it's deserved to be shared :)
Jun 2014 · 668
Untitled
mia Jun 2014
i'll tear this
place apart just
like you did to
my heart.
this isn't really a poem but its how i feel at the moment..
Jun 2014 · 389
okay.
mia Jun 2014
"I'm okay,"
is just a lie.
"I'm just tired,"*
is just another lie.
we live our lives
like we're
ready
to
die.
Jun 2014 · 778
lies.
mia Jun 2014
you said you'd never leave.
you said you'd wait for me.
you said you won't forget.
you said you cared.
i was too stupid and
ignorant to realize
that these
were all
**lies.
don't act like you care for someone and just leave them out of the blue. that hurts.
Jun 2014 · 374
the only one.
mia Jun 2014
out of the seven billion
people in this world there's
only you
almost a million words that i can say
but none of them will do.
baby, you're the
only one.*
i wish i was your
only one.
Jun 2014 · 328
insomnia.
mia Jun 2014
as i lay awake at 3 am,
the sound of your voice replays in my mind
and i think to myself,
my pillow isn't as soft as
your chest.
May 2014 · 480
tired.
mia May 2014
i'm tired of being unhappy.
i'm tired of being the ugly and stupid friend.
i'm tired of being the ugly and stupid daughter.
i'm tired of putting everyone first when i get
put last.
i'm tired of feeling worthless.
i'm tired of being
myself.
my demons are screaming
and this time,
i won't fight back.
*i give up.
this is pretty ****** lol, but eh, this is how i feel atm.
May 2014 · 370
what happened?
mia May 2014
when did Dad stop being a super hero?
when did taking naps become a good thing?
when did play dates turned into dates?
when did we start caring what
we looked like?
what happened to the monsters under
our beds?
i'll tell you what happened;
we grew up.
the monters aren't under our beds,
they're in our heads.
but,
when did our scars become
*unaccidental?
i don't know if this is good or not to be honest... thoughts?
May 2014 · 2.0k
i'm sorry.
mia May 2014
i'm sorry for never being good enough.
i'm sorry for never saying the right things.
i'm sorry for not knowing what i want.
i'm sorry for falling way too fast.
i'm sorry for not fitting your
standards.
but most of all,
i'm sorry for being
**myself.
May 2014 · 234
Untitled
mia May 2014
i rather be listening to your voice
than the pouring rain.
i rather lay on your chest
than the cold pillow.
i rather be with you
than my own
self.
i wish i was able to always say the right thing.
May 2014 · 241
fears.
mia May 2014
i have this fear of falling apart
and my fear came
true.
i don't really know if this is good or not but eh, there's a first time for everything.
May 2014 · 622
Untitled
mia May 2014
that thin piece of metal loves me.
but i rather have you love me
than anything or anyone.
i'd still love you even if
you broke my heart into
forty million pieces.

— The End —