I think I have Peter Pan syndrome
Because I refuse to grow up

The difference is
I don't have a choice

Because Neverland is a place in storybooks
"The second star to the right and straight on till morning!"

But oh, how badly I still wish
to escape
to
**Neverland.

Here I am, sitting in a class full of recycled personalities and dull eyes.
The term 'ignorance is bliss' is like a religious belief.
Everyone follows it.
These are the people that peak in high school.
Blank stares and obnoxious laughter
Meaningless conversations fill the room like thick smoke
and you know what?
I always ******* hated cigarettes.
Is this all that high school is like?
Is this the norm?
God, I can't wait to get out of here.
I've been ready to graduate since the day I was born.

Thirty thousand dollars.
That is how much a decent education will cost me.
Thirty thousand a year.
Thirty thousand that should go towards my family's debt right now but will only add to it in 2 years time.

"Why are these kids so lazy? Why don't they get degrees? Maybe then they wouldn't be so **** broke."

Well hey, the money we're hoping to make with our degrees means nothing when we're spending the first 10 'legal' years of our lives working to keep afloat,
keep the IRS from breathing down our necks,
keep pulling together just enough to not quite make rent yet again.

"Get a job. That's what I did growing up. You're just making excuses."

Yeah, and when you were growing up Yale's tuition was 5k and flipping burgers made enough to feed a family.

Brick by brick our fates are sealed,

Brick by brick we were set up for financial disrepair.

"Don't forget about FAFSA", right?
But of course, if you have an income, it's all going towards college, right?
Or if you don't, your middle class parents can afford to pay for you to go, right?

They don't need to give us a ton of help - rent is a luxury, remember?

Money is a luxury, remember?

Living is a luxury, remember?

His smile is reminiscent of the sun in the middle of July
His hair the color of a Chestnut tree
His arms strong like an ox
And skin aglow like a lantern on a summer's night
But his eyes
A color indescribable with words
For they are not simply green
or emerald
or a shade of the forest
But a seeing glass into the heart of me
He's true perfection in every sense of the word
**Him

You claim to feel my hurt
That you've had it worse
Well our lives are two very different struggles
Stuck in very different periods of time
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
But so is pain
And this time,
I think I'm more damaged than I'm letting on
So I'm **letting go

This song makes me feel like love.
Not like I'm falling in to it
Or loving someone
Or harboring something unrequited
I feel warm
I feel fuzzy
I feel content
I feel like love.

Hello love
I haven't heard your voice for days now
You were always one for the dramatic
I just didn't expect this
You left me so suddenly, you know?
And it wasn't like the movies
There was no last kiss
or embrace
Just your body lying lifeless on a silver tray
I had them cremate you
Because I just couldn't bear the thought of you
Six feet under
Left to decompose amongst living things
Like a mockery of your passing
Your ashes are spread amongst our special place
Somewhere only we knew
I refuse to accept you're gone
This love was never bittersweet
Nor was it easy
No, this love was ours
And it's end wasn't climactic
**It wasn't like the movies

How I wish I could make it so that you were satisfied with both everything and nothing at once
That you could feel the way you were meant to feel, they way you used to
you always deserved better
but the grip, the weight on your bones is shaking you
My dear, treat yourself well not because of the universe around you
but the universe inside you,
for to them, you may be what is good and holy
Young God
This world is cruel and you are succumbing to it
but
you can always turn back, you can you can
Avert your self destruction and channel it into rebirth
Your bones are stronger than your will but that's within your control
Are you willing?

They say that the darkness inside of you is something you have to deal with your whole life.
But I don't think you need you need to deal with it.  
I think that your darkness is something to embrace.
It's a part of you
And without it, you are not whole.
I have no business in getting rid of my demons  
And to be honest, I think it's time I embrace **them.

You say you want to fix people.
You say you want to make them better.
You say want to pick up their remains and make them whole again,
But you're still fractured yourself.
Be careful when fixing broken people,
You may end up cutting yourself on their shattered pieces.
I would know.
I still have scars from the days we were **together.

I told you I wasn't happy anymore
And you told me I'd be fine

I told you I've been like this for months
You told me it's nothing

I said I wanted to die
You said it was just hormones

I told you I was depressed
And you denied me **comfort