Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
i had already died when i chose to stay
please don’t bury me in casket
please don’t bury me
i hate it here
i hate it
i hate
i
i want
i want to
i want to live
please save me
please save me from this madness
i had already died, but i chose to stay
Street corner of my mind, project it into the future.
Context : I am dealing with alot of what could be termed 'strange thoughts' (if I was talking to a consellor) but they are more into the metaphysical realm (of which my area of ignorance is very large). Dealing with death/life/current experience of 'my 'life''/life after physical death and trying to make sense of what my dreams are telling me (which is the opposite of what my paranoid voice was telling me last week).....so where does that leave me? (listening to music constantly is semi relief but also painful sometimes) - it leaves me dealing with alot of mental fear - my latest coping skill is to throw or project it into its right expectant time in this reality and not have to 'really' face it until it manifests in this reality (if it ever does - or maybe this fear is true in others perceptions of me but they are unwilling to say it straight to my face - for example I was trying to get breakfast this morning and the person at the sandwich shop redirected me to another shop across a walk way - go to the other shop - they redirect me to the first shop - such closed loops can be perceived as a test/fun/bull*hit/etc..... depending on my mental state (ignoring diabetic hunger of course) but it is just an example of how 'my life' currently is - I would prefer to be asleep or drunk or within non human touched nature but that isnt going to happen and I am struggling :-(
Though tomorrow is there,
But I won't be there.
Nobody care.
World doesn't stop for any one of us.
People come and go.

The sky will still be blue,
While mine remains dark.

I won't be there.
It's just another candle burning
But now it's dim.

Though tomorrow is there,
I won't be there.
Although never mine....
You found me washed up,
I’d fallen at sea,
Searching for an island,
I’d dreamt into being-
I was sure it was safe from all harm.

Half alive,
you dragged me up and into the dunes,
Began to resuscitate me,
with nothing else, but the sureness in your eyes.
My heart danced,
Yet my head stood still.

We tangled our threads,
I held your throat, with electric hands,
Wrapped up in our own special place,
You were my fire in the rain.

And as the fires roared,
Love soared,
So I jumped from my own skin,
With fear In my hands,
Strangled my self to death
Put myself out,  
trampling upon the embers of us,

      With the same old boots i had worn before   you saved my life x x
You have come down with the storm
Splashed and spread across the Earth
Merging with the mud to take form
In this amalgamation, you took your first breath.

You have since assumed the affairs of the mud-form you’ve chosen
Entrapped by the aspiration of fulfilling the duties that come with it
And limited within the terrain in which it is soaked in
Wholly bewildered in a dimension you cannot outwit

O Raindrop, soon the sun will rise and the mud will dry
With all the illusions you’ve acquired in this long night
Wither away with the mud or evaporate back into the sky?
Will you perish into sand or re-immerse yourself with the infinite?
Your soul as the raindrop and your body represented by the mud.
I flowed into the dark blue ocean of symbols.
Just yesterday,
I walked with heavy footsteps,
well-grounded.

But once again,
an irresistible force lifted me.
I wanted to see what was above.

Then I came back,
changed,
less happy,
a part of me scattered
in that an alternative universe.

Now, worlds overlapping appear,
The sun is shining with different light.
Words change their meaning.
The fog thickens so,
I can no longer see fissures
under my feet.

Step by step, carefully,
I try to pass through
a dimension of forgotten dreaming.

I don’t want to be stuck
inside an illusion for too long.
Looking at my heart still glowing,
devoured by some voices,
bite by bite, crumb by crumb.

They come in need,
then dissolve like ghosts.

How can one love,
under the heavy weight of knowing—
with Lapis Lazuli pressed
against my chest?

I don’t want to vanish
into sticky spider webs
into formal language  
that is too cold,
too detached.

Two forces fight inside me
To see the truth, even if it hurts,
or to close my eyes,
and idealize brutal reality.

Looking in the distorted mirror,
observing love quivering on the verge.
And thus, the Earth becomes the theater.

The cynical facades ******
with pretended freedom,
taking every hour,
every month,
every year,

into

PROGRESSIVE
DE…HUMANIZATION
I’m sure all of HePo--and perhaps the greater ecosystem of the entire internet has felt a disturbance in ‘The Forced’alas this disconcerting  malaise is not without warrant. With everything going on in the world—it is hard to ignore the great global unsettling.

Let’s cut to what we know—the facts; the world is on fire, the sounds of sixteen hooves tearing us with fire into what may be the end times deafen our ears daily—dogs and cats living together!

THE ENEMY:

Yes! To the point! There have indeed been fewer badwords to hold your delicate collective psyche together with staples. This is true and I apologize! My life is taking me in a new direction and I am going to go with the flow instead of exhausting myself trying to tread water in place. I am pursuing an education in teaching English—to share the badwords across these thirsty worlds! I will also be traveling abroad in pursuit of this endeavor.

Unfortunately, I will be backing this investment with a large amount of the free time I can no longer contribute here.

I think you see where this is going…

I have a few more works that I have slated to be published here. However, I unfortunately won’t have the time to be as active as I would like. I am going to shift what energy I can contribute to continuing to support you lovely gluttons for punishment who have voluntarily subjected yourselves to badwords as well as champion HePo as a bastion of free speech, expression, acceptance and even sometimes healing.

The sun isn’t going down, it’s just an illusion caused by the world spinn’round...

I love this community and I look forward to bringing you the best badwords that you deserve!

To Everyone,
Kocham CięStay tuned!

badwords
Please excuse the sardonic self-aggrandization for  facetious effect!
Next page