I am the spawn
Of a defective *****
And a reluctant egg
If there is a God
I'm sure he took
The utmost care
With his needle and thread
Because everyone will reap what they sow
And all I am is flaws
Stitched together
With good intentions
Because all my life
I've only ever had
Good intentions
And my heart is so full
Of love for other people
That there is none left for me
Let's talk Biology
There are over 37 trillion cells in a human body
That's ******* amazing
And every single cell is working with
A common purpose:
To keep you alive
So knowing that
Why do I so often find myself
Crying until I fall asleep
With thoughts that It would be better
If I didn't wake?
I also know the brain itself
Cannot feel pain
So maybe
My brain doesn't know
What it's doing to itself
As wicked thoughts
Dance from every synapse
Maybe it just has
Good intentions
Maybe my words could change someone
Maybe the letters I stitch so carefully
Could have some ounce of an impact on someone
And that's all I've ever wanted
But my thoughts will remain like hermits
Locked in a cage with no key
While I continue on with my good intentions
Because the road to hell
Has always been paved
By those with
Good intentions

I will never touch you.
I know that.
You will never even know I want to.
I called you beautiful today
In the trappings of a joke
And I saw it hit you
And have an effect I never expected to cause
And it thrilled through my bones
And I know
I will never touch you,
But
I know, too, that when you look away
My eyes follow you with
A sigh never spoken
And in my head
I see it all
I
Could drag my lips along those sculpted shoulders
That your shirt falls from so carelessly,
I could run my fingertips down your spine
And I could breathe into the hollows of your throat
And how is it
That you look like someone carved you from marble?
Every inch.
I dared to look at you in the mirror today
When your back was turned
And the breath was pulled from me
By how much longing could well up in my heart in an instant
For someone so distant.
And what if I just told you?
Sat there and told you
That I am afraid to try and draw you because
I won't do you justice.
That you undo me
And I don't know why.
That I could show you more passion
Just by meeting your eyes instead of glancing down
Than every man who has ever traveled the valleys of your body
And created the rivers in your soul.
I will never tell you.
I will never touch you.
I will only smile when you look at me
And long for you when you don't.

I'm sorry,
I promise
To be
A
Burden
No more.