You are an attic that my thoughts are still lost in.
Your mind is cluttered with ideas, kindness, secrets and confessions,
all covered under thick dusty blankets of bland conversations.
Every time the sun hit a part of your mind,
you revealed a memory and I like a child
oohed and ahhed at this over told story.

Despite the floorboards creaking “baby you don’t mean a thing” and dust lingering with the goodbye that will never be said,
it was my favorite place.

I would try bringing up my own newspaper clippings and photo albums but there never was enough room in this attic I suppose.

I remember one night I spotted poetry painted on the wall
hidden behind a pile of blankets and your record player voice cracked with the words ‘you're beautiful’ and ‘you're perfect’.
But maybe the words were already painted for somebody else
and You’re voice caught on the vinyl of the moment.

Darling they told me that a family from Utah is
moving in next week,
I hope they treat you well.

Darling the door has been locked and boarded without a warning

Life isn't always a one way street
Some of us walk to a song that's offbeat
One way isn't right, and one isn't wrong
It's all about how we choose to get along

Some folks have God and they have their faith
But I walk a path that's a little less safe
I choose to believe what I'm able to see
And I don't think that means something is wrong with me

I state what I believe, but I don't try to change your mind
I don't care if we're not all bred of the same kind
You choose your Bible, and I choose my brain
I live my own path, yours was already paved
But I'm not looking to be loved or saved

Jesus Christ was an only child
So he would be spoiled, bet he always smiled
Meanwhile, I had a mother gone wild
Who beat me, and left me feeling exiled

And if God does exist, he can see what he has done
He can look down from his throne, and see what his world has become
And I hope sometimes he's real, just so he can see our pain
As he hides safely in the clouds while his children drown in rain

I'm not looking to change your beliefs, so please don't ask about mine
I'm not sure what it is that you think you're gonna find
I don't ask why you have blind faith, so leave my views alone
I'm not interested in changing, stop thinking my mind will be blown

You're shouting out the same old ****
Your oral diarrhea spew
Quit bathing me in your spit
Your homemade holy water brew

Holding his hand was like a prayer
and when we kissed I finally saw God
but no amount of getting on my knees could stop Hell from clutching it's burning hands to my throat and no volume of screaming could lead to my salvation.

I tell myself it must have been the devil telling him to love her
instead of me,  
but that won't change the fact that you never were my Heaven.

**** did he have a smile i used to always tell him to stop smirking at me and i don’t think he understood why i did, but every time his smile lit up every time every time he smirked when i said something to him  every time his eyes lit up like a christmas tree the crinkles in his cheeks made this perfect pattern.I fell more in love with him  
he was  beautiful.
he told me he never cared about me and it took me a while but i found out i was gonna be okay with it because you change for the ones you love. I fought loving you for a while because at the time i wasn’t even sure i knew how to love someone anymore after last time but ******* did he  teach me. Everytime he called me, every time he calmed me down when no one else could even make me flinch
every time he helped fix me no matter what it was he could make me smile and i think i slowly forgot how to fix myself because i had him and i thought that he'd always be there i mean that was what he had promised wasn’t it? I lost all self reliance but i felt safe  And when he left I tried to get over him by just being with random people but their lips never made me actually feel anything; not once did they send shivers down my spine and i never go to bed smiling anymore, and not once did i care when they left finding out i wasn’t ready to be with anyone after him. He was easily my favorite mistake and even though he’s  gone from my life I’m glad we had talked that night and tragically enough i wouldn’t take it back for anything