Soft voices and sweet dreams,
A small bed for one team.
Hot nights on the skyline,
Holding on to each other for dear life.

She made us a family in her head,
Named the kids, found a house, and started paying the rent.
There is a fire in our eyes,
A desire to burn that no one can deny.

We have our rings, we have are vows,
We've never been better than we're now.
Two smiles and then one kiss,
"I found the love that I knew I'd miss."

Two beautiful hazels, locked with a pair of black holes,
An unlikely couple by the looks of it but what do any of them know?
We had it all and knew that to be true,
I just couldn't get enough of you.

We lay arm and arm together in ease,
Be it in the bed in the sky or under shaded tree.
I refuse to look down, we are headed straight forward, full steam ahead.  
All these thoughts relived looking back at all we said.

****
It's stuck again
This soul
This mind
One in the same
The ****** has come
To block my flow
**** you
For you've partially taken my soul
To not move on my own
To not think
She's stuck
Oh god please get out
For whatever reason it's a sad one
Inside I bleed while my outsides never make a peep
Closest to me no one will ever be
We are inside
You and I
Left behind to live on our owns
To not cause pain when the stones
Casted is our own
That pain I drive
A feeling I want to subside
But leaves me still alive
To press this face to the dirt
To breath it in till it hurts
What a wish
What a thought
You are boring
So am I
Unless we're high
Which I can no longer lie
Beside you

It's 11:30 PM,
and the steaming hot water
singes my back
as I talk myself out of
throwing my half consumed
bottle of beer
against the
shower wall.
My stomach feels hollow,
my throat feels clogged,
repressed screams,
traveling
from
my
insides
up.

Anger is an emotion
I rarely feel,
but as the hauntingly true song lyrics
blared out of my laptop and
reverberated against the glass door,
I was barely able to contain
the wrath,
tears of vexation slipping down
my cheeks,
dropping to my chin as I
heaved in
a sharp breath.

I'm tired.
Tired of giving.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of having faith.
Tired of loving.
Tired of losing myself.

Are we supposed to give
and never take?
Wait and keep faith?
Love without feeling
loved back?
Let our dreams, needs,
hopes, wishes...
let our souls go off track?

Empathy is my middle name,
but when will someone empathize with
me?
When will I get
what I want;
be provided with
what I need?
When will the love I relinquish
rebound back to me?

I want give and take;
I want reassurance and faith;
the mate to my soul,
the 50 to my 50;

I want you,
your heart,
your faith,
your soul,
your empathy;

I want you
like you have me.

Don't tell me that it's normal to cry yourself to sleep.
Don't tell me that it's normal to want to cut your skin deep.
Don't tell me that it's normal to feel unwanted.
Don't tell me it's my age,
Don't tell me it's my "teenage rage",
Don't tell me I'm dramatic,
Don't tell me I'm problematic.
If you were in my shoes,
You'd want to hate me too.

I feel as though I'm in a cage,
School, work, eat, sleep,
A never ending cycle forming
A life of daily routine, not surprises
One day we have to stop and ask
did God really put us here
to get stuck in a boring routine
did God create beautiful life
just to work, pick up groceries, eat
I don't believe God created this world,
So big, un- discovered, beautiful
So that we can hunker down
In a concrete subdivision
And let routine slowly tear away
At the *dreams we once had

I sat on the dew stricken grass
Soaking up the morning sun
The sweet fragrance of spring flowers filled my nostrils
The birds sung like a choir.
I could almost taste the spring air
Sickly sweet  

I love mornings
For they are so quiet
Like a fresh start
Yesterday is in the past
A new day
A new me
*A new morning