-to be human is to sin

you tell me that good people are everywhere
but where are all these good people
when the facts are screaming
"emergency, emergency"
"alert, alert"
when the facts say
that almost every ******* this planet
has at least once in her life
been touched in a way she didn't consent to
the facts say that most ****** predators
are known to the children
fathers;
fathers have ***** their daughters
while mothers cry silently
because the world does not want to hear
the stories under the blanket
the guilt and the shame
the pain.
the pain.

you say there are good people
show me
show me
that boy who gives to charity
his hand rode up my skirt last week
that girl who prays five times a day
she watched as her boyfriend called me a *****

my five year old cousin knows what it's like to be penetrated

i lost my virginity before i got my period

my best friend doesn't want to be touched because she sees her ******'s face in every man

i was blackmailed by a boy who said he wanted to marry me

my mom;
my mom and i have bonded over
what it feels like
to have
a man inside you
who doesn't
doesn't
belong there

what kind of god wants an empty heaven?
because the kind of people on this earth
the filthy **** who carved their names between my thighs
there are too many
there are too many
men who have done
women who have watched
silent observers
silent thieves
murderers
no one says anything
then they pray to god
but their sins
their sins are on my skin
see me
see me as i burn
see me as i burn
because if these repenters
who have lived their lives
hurting others
who say their grace
then stuff their ***** in my face
if these repenters
are who i will find in heaven
then i do not want to go
i do not want to go
to a heaven with them
i do not want to go
to a paradise
that looks a whole lot like hell

but if god
chooses to not forgive these repenters
then heaven will be empty
because we are sinners
we are all sinners
we ask for forgiveness
then do it again

i have lied
i have cheated
i have wished ill upon another

tell me; am i good person?
was he a good person?
when he ***** me then apologized
when he ***** me then prayed
when he ***** me then cried
and said he made a mistake

when he ***** me
said sorry
and did it again.

if he makes it to heaven
i'll take the other train
if he does not
then none of us will
because our devils are too clean
and our angels too *****

i'm not quite sure if i'm looking for repentance or for revenge
i have done wrong and i have been wronged
is there a place for me in heaven?

what kind of god wants an empty heaven?
what kind of god wants a heaven full of sinners?

where is the god that will love me?

where is the god that will forgive me?

Lo and behold!
The clergyman knocked
At the door of the ship
To explain to the captain
The hazard of having
A broken engine

The ship was elegant outside
But most people say (people who know this ship)
What's within - a jungle
Snakes, tigers, hyenas
Scorpions, tarantulas, and the likes
Plagued the place
But the clergyman believes
Even jungles have some
Lovely animals too

And he was right
A seem white dove entertain him
Giving him some food and refreshment
Telling him that the engine of the ship
Is the best engine that the clergyman could see
Carrying passenger safety to their destination
Sealed with love and dedication

After the visit of the clergyman to the ship
He asked himself why most people
Condemned this ship
When he himself
Saw no dissatisfaction

And then the clergyman decided
To visit some neighboring ships
And asked them
How would they describe
The ship that he just visited

All of them answered
Almost exactly the same line
"Oh my dear brother,
You cannot salvage anything
On that vessel
Because the captain
Was already swimming at the lake of hell"


12/03/2016
SHIP represent the BODY
ENGINE represent the HEART
CAPTAIN represent the SOUL

Fill your mouth with snow
Summer will pass smoothly

life has always been a tough thing to understand. to grip onto.
the tighter your grip was, the stronger you valued your life.
but what if your grip became weak?
what if, no matter how hard you tried to grip the bars of life, your fingers continued to slip?
sometimes, you have no control over how tight your grip is.
i always was considered physically and mentally weak.
not only would my grip become frail,
but even on those days where my grip was strong enough to get my head above the bars,
my tears would fall without thinking,
and the bars of life became toxic and wet
and my fingers would slip
and i would fall.
sometimes it's better with nothing to grip onto.

You were always jealous
Jealous that the only hardship you had encountered was a lack of fluffy pillows
Fattened from the abundance of food
Spoiled in free cars and free gas
Free
Free is the price listed next to your dinner
But it's what you claim not to be
Free
Free will and free reign
It's stamped across your forehead because you are what you eat
But like all spoiled children
You needed a reason
To cry to whine
"My mommy never loved me"
"My daddy never hugged me"
Attention is what you want
What you lie for
Creating problems that make you victim
Victim
The word of the day
Meaning
'Person who is tricked or harmed'
Synonymous to loser prey and chump
So loser
Tell me
Does the silver spoon not suit you?
You want to come out and play with the big kids?

With open arms big kids welcome broken souls
With crumpled dreams and stained pasts
We whisper comforting words to stop wet eyes
Broken bones bending to back to normal
No one ever taught us love
We found it in the eyes of hungry animals whom with we shared our warmth
We found it in the beauty of Mother Nature
The colors of the flowers sprouting from the sewage overflow is the brightest of all
Or I guess it's a ****
A plant that finds a way to survive in a place where it was never wanted

Fed nothing but *******
And stomped on with poverties giant feet
I guess I am a **** of my generation
But at least I'm not a snake
Slithering it's way through the tallest flowers
Pretending like it fits
Like it grow upwards towards the light

So chump
Tell me
How are you snake and prey at the same time?
Weaving your way through
the tightest knits of flowers
Mowing down some in your wake
A flattened trail getting larger and longer
As your body grows thicker
Fattened by the food

You may be
Camouflaged in envy green
But you can never recreate
Our colors

Time is so valuable
We don't stop for long
We barley sleep anymore

And yet
Netflix is the top grossing app

I keep a pair of boxing gloves hanging from my ceiling fan
The light reflects off them at sunrise
I keep them there to remind me that the words
Strong and beautiful can coexist

I bought them for $10 at Ross

Growing up fast is going from
Yo mama to dead mama jokes
Faster than it takes you to finish
Your lunchable

The only difference is
Yo mama is funny those whom
Don't relate

Dead mama
Is for those who do

When stuck between two choices
Flip a coin
If it's not a sigh of relief when viewing
Choose the other option

You use people
Similar to a baby
You soil them like blankets

You use people
Like a mother with no washer
You throw out soiled things