kiss the blood off of my lips, describe to me what my humanity tastes like
when your hands are around my neck, can you feel that i am human?
after you look me in the eyes, i watch you turn away
you are searching for the soul those eyes were made for, you recognize my soul is a restless wanderer
you will not find me
you cannot taste me
you cannot feel me
but i am still here
i will let you know where i am
when i'm finished looking

Music, a double edge sword.
It aggravates gaping wounds;
It mends optimistic spirits.

A magic that can ascend one to
A higher plane of existence,
Or a boulder that can send one hurling
To the bottom of Dante's inferno.

A cupid that gives repose to distressed spirits,
Or a scythe that leaves a furrow in the heart of a cynical soul.

They say time heals, I say music aligns the stars,
Fuels the flare, unclouds the gloom of the skies;
Brings spirits closer to enlightenment.

I chose to embrace her, drop the deadweight,
And unlock the shackles of my heart.

I swear to god I have been digging a tunnel inside my body since my very first day on earth searching for things like personal interests and self-love, things like happiness and creativity, the few things in which separate humans from each other, things that make it known that we are ourselves and no one else, but I’ve been searching for my
whole
life
looking for what makes me who I am
looking for what separates me from every other teenager figuring themselves out as well
but what if there’s nothing to find
what if it’s all for nothing
because I have no idea who I am
and I think I’ll I feel this way for the rest of my life

I’ve always found it incredibly strange how a group of people at some point in time came up with a plethora of words used to communicate exact thoughts and statements between people yet most of the time I choose not to use them
what I really want to say is always left unsaid
everything I feel, every way I feel about you is left drifting through the air, never to be touched by another human being
and you’ll never know
I’ll never know so many things because I’m too afraid to say them
but maybe no matter what I say
there will always be something unspoken between us
so I’ll just let you know some other time

Was I wrong to think I meant something to you? Was I that blind? The secret stares. The subtle hand touches. Was it all in my mind? Were we really nothing but friends? Did I mean so little to you? You chose her and not me. Was it because she’s easy? Or was she prettier than me, smarter, funnier? You had nothing to say. No sorry. Nothing. I really did mean nothing to you. And that hurts. It hurts like no pain I have ever felt. Nothing I could have ever imagined. You made me feel small. Insignificant. You made me cry. You made my heart hurt. You made my whole body ache. Thank you for that.