It's scary how your mind
can play tricks on you.
It's not until 1 am,
after the day has passed
and I have showered
and slipped into my pjs
and snuggled up into my bed,
that I start to feel alone.
I toss and turn and
imagine your arms around me
stroking my back
and you whispering
in my ear how you'd
rather be nowhere but here.
This is what keeps me up
at night but I know you sleep
sound without a single
thought of me.
It's scary how your mind
can play tricks on you.
Just when I think
I'm finally moving on,
the stillness of my
room at night reminds me
just how alone I am.

Gravel pathways across a
Graveyard.
Rainbows in
Garden sprinkler droplets.
Church tower swallows.
I know death.

I know its smell, the touch of
Something unalive. I know
Its feeling.
It is sharp, lucid and transparent.
White haze in open eyes,
Dreams and memories now

Forgotten.
Stones leaning like mourning
Heads against one another. Trees
In breeze, one has grown around
The single rusty lamp post.
I have stood in its light.

Stood in its light looking up,
Caught not crying over a tragedy.
I know death. I know its feeling.
Closer every time I think of it;
The opposite of a mirage.
Mine may very well one

Day be the first dead body
Someone has ever seen.
These blue eyes milky blind.
Arms like branches; twig fingers.
Life means surprisingly little with
Your hands upon its absence.

Leave my name on each bullet.
Show me your shadow,
Scythe and all.
Dead as burned trees and great
Grandparents. Rancid rest. Dirt.
I know death.

read from bottom to top*


down
   us
     bring
            to
               try
           they
when
        smoke
   like
     rise
We'll

I used to be religious,
but that was years ago,
you know, when I was young
And there were so many things that I didn't know

I was a puppet,
I was not allowed to think
when my mind was like someone
pouring water into an empty sink.

I always went to church
against my own will,
sitting in a pew for hours
trying to keep still.

then I got older
And then I realized
my mind is more powerful
then the other guys.

So I started questioning,
was called a blasphomer.
The only thing I believed in
was death without fear.

I mean, don't you find it odd
that we're told to believe in God
And as long as it's only him
then we defeat the odds
of going to hell?
but the bible always had a different story to tell.

you shall have no other god before me.
those are his words written in his story.
Yet were also told about Christ
And the holy ghost.
that makes three gods that use us as their host.

that way of thinking,
the holy trinity,
is a contradiction
that human eyes are too blind to see.
And we always wonder
"why doesn't he talk to me?"
yet in the past he spoke directly
to prophets in the era
that human minds were developing.

I was raised not only as Christian
I was raised by my mother in multiple religions.
Each one saying that the other is wrong.
Although they have the save versus and songs.
I just don't get it,
I know humans need an escape.
Especially from reality, whatever it takes.
But why do I have to be labeled religious if I'm a good person?
When the ones with the most hatred are the ones rehearsing.


I follow a code
Peace love unity respect,
Hatred is not something
That I chose to accept.
But because I'm atheist
I'm considered a heathen.
When they don't realize the words they're breathing

And anti gay?
Are you serious?
That **** is so ******* stupid.
They're still humans wanting love
Because love is fluid.
It flows through us.
Every creature,
Every soul,
Every tree that you see.
We are connected
Indefinitely

My problem is,
Everyone wants to make their decisions
Off of a book written based on visions
By man that are known
To manipulate the systems.
And create hate without a second opinion.

For example.
The anti-gays.
Only want to listen to the words they say.
But don't realize that the words relayed
Is different from years ago today.

And divorce is a sin as big as they come.
But they don't say **** about that.
How come?!

why do you have to judge?!
why can't you just accept we were all created
the same regardless of blood?!
why can't I just be as blind as you?!
why does my mind ask questions and have a different view?!
why can't I be closed minded?!
why can't I just accept everything and stop trying to find it?!

**** it I'm done.
I am not a prodigal son.
I am not a saint,
I am not a sinner.
I am me, a human,
the line could not be painted any thinner.

next time you decide to **** into someone resilient.
make sure it's not the mind of manic brilliance...