This Stage is Called Awakening

This Stage is Called Awakening Aug 2017

People are fleeting
Facts are changeable
Truth is relative
Beauty isn't real
Love is non existent
It's all an array
Of various chemicals
Flowing through a mass of muscle
Creating different stimulants
That we have called emotions
But its pointless
Emotions are useless
All anyone truly cares about
Is stimulating
The proper chemical flow
That they long after
In that particular moment.
So why even try?

Just random thoughts on various facts and realities including relationships and needless emotions

This Stage is Called Awakening Aug 2017

I think I might be an insomniac

Why is sleep so hard to come by?
Why do I stay up so late?
Why is it at night, my thoughts turn to hate?
I want to sleep
My eyes are heavy
But I can't seem to except it
I can't seem to close my eyes
And I just don't understand why
Im always exhausted
So you would think I would live to sleep
And I do
But getting there is the problem
And often times
Staying there
Seem to be even harder.

Uuggghhh im tired XD

This Stage is Called Awakening Aug 2017

Alone

The sad part is
I think I was right
No one stays
In those dark nights
In those times
Im
All
Alone
And I will be
All
Alone
And that's how it is
I just have to deal
I want this wound
To just finally heal
But every time
I open myself up
They just seem to leave
And so again
Im
Alone
That's just how it goes
But no worries
I've learned to enjoy it
I
Actually
Like
Being
Alone

Just random thoughts and nothingness that exists inside my head.

#lonely #emo #depressed #sad #alone #happy

This Stage is Called Awakening Aug 2017

Is there more?

Pain is everywhere
It's all over this world
I see it in everyone
No one is spared

Its in the child
Whose innocence was taken

Its the grown man
Who can't function a day
Without the help of a substance

Its in the mom who is all alone
And who is simply trying
To make this broken house
Feel like a home.

Is there anything else?
All I see is pain.
Is there nothing but this vacancy,
That consumes my being?
Is this all there is?
Surely there is more than this.

I see the pain
In the teenager
Who draws lines on his skin
That wont just leave
But atleast this pain can be covered by his sleeve

I see it in the girl who gives herself away
To any man
Who she thinks she can make stay

I see it in the strong
Who make themselves keep moving on
For everyone else around them
But inside they just want to die.

Surely there is more
I'm telling you there has to be more.
I close my eyes
And I start to cry
I open them and look up to the sky
I want to scream at God
"How could you let this happen?"
"Where are you now, when all I see and all I feel is the pain?"
But I don't say a word
Because I know this simple truth
If God does exist
And I bet my life he has too
I have no right to ask him no I have no right to demand an answer
I can not understand who he is
Or how big his plans are
So I close my eyes
And I thank him for the life I have

And I say to the child, and to the grown man, to the mom, and the teen, to the girl, and to the strong,
I tell them thy can keep moving on.
I have no positive answers and I'm sorry if that's not enough for you. But I believe its the truth and as for me I would rather embrace the painful truth than live in a comfortable lie.

Not very well written , sorry! Im not even sure I'm saying what I'm thinking in the right way just thoughts I have and figured I'd put them down.

This Stage is Called Awakening Aug 2017

The big dance

The lights
The noise
The music
The sounds
The voices
The dance
The life
It brings
Both vibrancy
And anxiety
Both life
And death
Most everyone
Loves it all
But not I
I love
And I hate
There is dark
And light
It's all
A paradox
Just as
Am I.

There is this dance thing every Saturday night in the summer, and my friends and I have started going a lot, it's a lot of fun but it also makes me anxious.

#dance #dancing #life #death #anxiety #anxious

This Stage is Called Awakening Aug 2017

Hide and Seek

Life is a game
Of hide and go seek
Its not yet time
For you to peek

You must go hide
And try not to be found
You can not wish to
Have ever died

That is one piece to hide
You can not long after blood
Hide that too

But most of all
Remember this
You must simply hide all of you
Paint up a fake and trick them all
And watch as they fall
For the fake
And now you feel safe
But look at them laughing
And all having a blast
Guilt overwhelms
So you crawl out of hiding
And want to help seek
But the weather outside is hot
And you notice they are not
What they at first appear
For there paint is running
And soon so are you
But you leave your fake laughing
Just in case
It was only sweat you saw
But you have to be careful
Because this is hide and seek
And you never know
Exactly how much to show
So again you hide
And curl around yourself
Because while the one who looks like you
Is out having fun
And is enjoying the company
Of many different people
You have never been more alone.

Random thoughts on life and relationships

This Stage is Called Awakening Jul 2017

A desperate cry

I want to cry
My eyes are holding back the tears
As I read all the emotions
As I see all this hurt
I know so many people who hurt
And who ache
And this kills me
This world is so broken
And no one is untouchable
It kills me
Watching as innocent people
Get used
By other people
Who themselves used to be innocent
Until the day wen they were used
And its an endless cycle
Of hurt people
Turning around and hurting more
This endless cycle of pain
So many people screaming that they just want to be loved
And every piece of me
Is dying to scream at them
How much I love them all
But I've done that to some
And im afraid iv only caused more pain
So I'm stuck unable to help
Only able to pray
But the brokenness
Is eating away
And each day
They get more broken
And closer to ending it all
And I know that pain
All too well
That's why I want to help
Because I wouldn't wish my misery on anyone
And I want so desperately to protect them all
But I'm so weak
And there's really nothing I can do
So I sit back and watch this pain and watch this misery
And all I can do is cry out to God to hear these people
And to see the pain
And I feel so helpless
But I know that alone
Is better than anything else I could do

So many people are hurting. And I don't think most people see the pain of everyone around them. They seem to think no one has it as bad as they do. But just because the pain is hidden doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

#pain #despair #depression #death