I dont have alot of friends
But now i have one less than not alot

A mutual agreement
To rip each others hearts out
A mutual agreement
That we simply wont work together
I have to wait atleast a year
And he cant wait for just a year
Two different people
Who just didn't think it through
Who rushed head long
And who are both broken now
It makes it easier that it was mutual, sure
But it still hurts
And im still gonna miss you
Im gonna miss you alot
I really liked him
The first boy who ever liked me back
The first relationship i had ever been in
Lasted less than two whole months
Now isn't that just sad
Well I certainly am
He was so great
But we weren't meant to be
And i know i can trust God in this
And i know he has something big in store for both of us
But right now it still hurts
And my heart still aches
And im still gonna miss you
And im still gonna think about you
And im sorry i ever said i liked you back
Im sorry we ever went down this road
Because not only did i lose a relationship
But i also feel like i lost the friendship
And it was such a good friendship
And im gonna miss it
And im gonna miss you

The dazzling lights
The music of the waltz
The shy boy who didn't want to dance
The shy girl who did
The outgoing girl who spoke to the shy boy
And all but forced him to ask
But the shy girl was dancing with the red head
And they were laughing
But eventually the song ended
And the shy boy came up
He all but growled out the invitation to the dance floor
The shy girl just laughed
And so together they learned the waltz

My mind is so twisted and wild
It leaps and bounds
Violence is everywhere
Its the music in the air
It sings softly and sweet
And keeps my hands folded ever so neat
It makes me laugh out loud
And makes me cry with my head in the cloud
It keeps me from going insane
Funny how it can bring so much pain
But to me its a comfort
As is this rhyme
Some day you will understand, love
All in good time
One day you will die
And then you will see
That it is not i
Who has lost my mind
But the rest of the world who kills the innocent to solve our problems
Im just the one brave enough to say
What their actions have already spoken so well.

I saw the flames
He jumped through
He just leaped through the fire
Completely unhurt
I was amazed
Id heard tale of such feats
But even still
To actually watch it happen
I was enthralled
I was awestruck
And then i desired to feel
Those flames lick my face
I wanted to feel the heat
And yet remain unscathed
I wanted to jump
And so i did
I ran towards the flames
I was so excited
I wanted to leap through the air
But when i came close
When i saw those flames in my face
I stopped
For a split second
I stopped
I hesitated
And that threw me off
So as i jumped i fell
Into the flames
And i got burned
I have the scar on my knee
Its not bad
But **** did it hurt
I have the giant bruise on my side
And **** did it hurt
But none of my physical pain
Hurt nearly as much
As the embarrassment did
As much as knowing that everyone had watched
That everyone saw
That everyone knew
That i had failed
I had fallen and got burned
And that pain was unbearable
I had to leave to step away
I couldn't face anyone
And so i went off
By myself
And sat and thought
And made the decision that i would play it safe
And not take risks
And thus I wouldn't fail
And thus I wouldn't face the pain
I could just stay safe
But as i think about it
I remember the rush
The flames licking my face
That moment before i fell
And i felt amazing
Before I hesitated before i jumped
I was excited
I was doing something
And it was a rush
So yeah i fell
And yeah i hurt
And yeah the pain was real
But thinking back to it
Id do it again in a heart beat
The only difference is
I wouldn't hesitate
Or if i did
Right after i fell
Rather than leaving
Id run at the fire again
And id keep jumping
Until I finally made it.

Drowning?
Or already drowned
The demon screams
The child hides
The parent leaves
The monster hurts
The child aches
The tongue is twisted
The knife cuts
The wounds never heal
The scabs stay open
The blood leaks
People stare
Its brushed away
But the pain stays
The voices are louder
The care is less
The friends leave
The numbness stays
The people seem smaller
The fakness
All the acting
All the fake smiles
All the lies
All the "im oks"
Im drowning......
.....or maybe im already drowned.

Im not what appear
This smile is but a mask
For im not really here
I just to pretend to be to complete a task

A task of fooling you
Into thinking of me
As someone like you too
Instead of who is really me

But im nothing like you
Im so dark
Its nothing new
This crazy story ark

But listen my friend,
You need to hear
This relationship is at an end
You dont want to hold me dear

There are sins unknown
Scars covered up
The darkness has grown
And its so tough

To tell you this
But its only fair
For you to know
Before we become a pair

You need to know who i am
And that this isnt I
But this is where i stand
Im just a demon standing by

This demon inside
He controls me
He makes me hide
Who im to be

And so im sorry for fooling you
But its ok
Because maybe your fooling me too.