What are dreams?
I have had dreams of death
Where i watch myself steal away anothers breath
Where i **** others that i love
But then some dreams are soft as a lily white dove
And these dreams seem to disapear faster
They dont linger
And yet there are others still
The ones that i control through my own will
These are the ones that must always stay
And im trying to find a way
To keep these dreams alive
But i have to constantly revive
But if thats what it takes
Its what ill do
Because im done giving up on you
Im done not letting people in
I dont care if they know my sin
Thats my dream you see
To feel comfortable as me
I want to be a people person
I want to talk freely
And to just openly speak
But i get so weak
But ill keep trying and continue striving
I wong give up on my dream

I hate that i spoke
I hate that i opened my mouth
I hate that that hurt u
I hate that i let that hurt me
I hate that i let that get to me
I hate that i said anything to u
I hate how affected i was
I hate that it was nothing
I hate that i was overthinking
I hate that i did this
I hate how stupid i am
I hate the way u must see me now
I hate that i did this
But i love that for some reason u dont hate me

I just keep scrolling thru
All these poems
Looking for you
I want a friend
I never realized before
How old most ppl on this site are
Come on teens
Lets raise the bar
Lets write out our feelings
And talk to one another
Were all just lonely souls

You just left me,
We used to talk all the time,
And now.....  

Now we never speak,
And it *****,
I miss you,

You said we needed space,
And that you didn't mean to hurt me,
But it still hurt,
And i still miss you,
And i get it, i really do.

But i feel like i lose everyone i get close too,
I feel like every time i open up to someone,
They always seem to vanish,
And i thought you were different,
But it seems your not,
And thats ok
I cant blame you,
I wouldn't want to be my friend either........

I look and i wonder
What i have done
I sit and ponder
Why i cant find the sun

We were friends right?
Once upon a time
But now im struck by fright
I hear the clock chime

Maybe nothing ever lasts
Maybe its all just moments
And eventually they all pass
But my heart still rents

I just wish i knew
What i always seem to do
And how i constantly anger you
And why is it that you flew?

Away from me
I was just trying to see
To look into you
And let you look into me too

But instead you pushed me
And not just literally
You didn't want to see
Maybe im just full of folly

For ever thinking that we might
Somehow still be friends

There is a place i go to hide
There is a place where i wished i had died
There is a place somehwere near
Where i have often gone and cried

This place i tried to share
But no one seemed to care
To me it was magical
Buf i didn't really dare

To hope that they could see
Because this place encompassed me
And wasnt about them
It was where i had come to be

To be who i am now
Its where i found
Out who i truly was
Its where my heart was bound

I went there often
I havent been back
I miss it
That beautiful rooftop
Where i would sit
And cry
Or wish i could die
Or think about suicide
Or where i would go
When there was no one home
And i could sit and think
I miss my rooftop
It was my place.

My darkness comes again
Im weighed down
By all this sin

I look at these lies
And i scream inwardly
Outwardly i just sigh

I get so stuck
Its like i cant see
Anything besides the muck

But i will follow the truth
I know there is more
This darkness is not new

I can move oast these lies
I wont give in
The truth will not be disguised

I am not alone
There is so much more
I can be at peace at home

I am loved
There is truth here
I can be enough

Im not a failure
There is more to me
Than this current allure

I will fight these lies
I wont give up
God hears my cries

And he sees me
Even when im weak
He shows me how who im to be

And he gives me strength
To just keep living
When all i want is to give up.