thought of writing so
many letters they fill to bursts
of rain worn
mailboxes
Peeling painted
faces so adored
you'll see no other and
ache forever with the
thought of writing so
many letters

Dusty you pick it up
but it's been too long
and the chords feel strange
and the sounds not right
so you
fuddle with
pegs a bit
and is
still not quote right
so twist them harder
until they
Snap and piercing
note vibration worth it's
Snapping blessed bleeding
fingers to play
cracking oak in
oiled frame ashamed
shamed smashed against
the doorways of discordant sea
there
that's better

I always see in my dreams this theme of
long stretches
desert
flat sand colored plains
baked ground with scraggly roots
dried or wet salt lakes
a punishing angry yellow sun
that's the foreground and behind
oil painted and smeared mesa
or mountainous distant horizons
I'm always traveling
it's important where I'm going
but I go nowhere in particular
by foot or car
sometimes horseback
what am I looking for
unconscious what are you telling me
The other day I remember more
clearly
I was wearing my armor
and wading through a field
hip high reeds with water or a river
to my left and as I walked
I saw a gap in the foliage
across the river
was a figure, a person, wearing black
they just stood there
didn't move
stared back and did
nothing else
but there was clearly
menace
and it ended

is love
is it kindness patience understanding
is it bred from desire and lust
   just a word
something else
compassion and giving
   empathetic
a part of yourself to another
is it rough
            harsh
   sacrificing
grinding
stressful
     painful
between these extremes of
elation, joy
a 3 am phonecall
makes your chest burst open
and shatter you like a mirror
you'll see your tear stained face in
      day after day
become this jumbled jigsaw
of a human
be so attached to one person
   then one day
        not
and eventually love
someone else
or is it possible
to love two
and not let go
keep that clenched into your fist
           locked in a box
   guard it jealously
all those pieces
that can't be love
      .......can it?

My Feelings?
oh, don't
worry about them
no one
else ever does.