I'm depressed but not suicidal
I'm depressed but not suicidal
I'm depressed but not suicidal
I'm depressed but not suicidal
Why do I say this?
-
I do hear voices in my head
Telling me that I should be dead
Telling me that life is not fair
Telling me that no one really cares
Like come on?
I've been hearing this for years
Am I suppose to be scared?
-
God has bigger plans
That's why I'm still here
That's why I still stand
Life is not fair
It's not fair to anybody
People think they got life figured out
But what happens behind closed doors
Is not my business to say
People do care (in their own human-ish way)
And even if they fake it, I'll be okay
-
I do hear voices in my head
They all starting to sound the same
Whenever I get a glimpse at happiness
They always have something to say
-
Don't let them get to you
They just want to break you down
Don't let them have that effect on you
-
Whenever I hear them
I know I'm doing something right
Something that these demons didn't like
So they come back looking for another fight
But that okay cause I've seen the light
They go silent once I've gathered all my might
After me writing this
And after you reading this
I hope we can both sleep peacefully tonight
-
Lowkie®

Think happy thoughts
Even when your head is racing
Everyday feels like another challenge that you're facing
Your life is disaster in the making
Because everything you touch ends up breaking
Think happy thoughts
-
Think happy thoughts
Through the pain you've felt
And you have this random breakdowns
Where you feel numb, dumb and just want to melt
When you're lost in the darkness looking for light
Think happy thoughts
-
Think happy thoughts
And not drug overdose
Or crying until your tears overflow
Dwelling on the pain means you'll never grow
Stop looking for love in a place where it was never shown
Think happy thoughts
-
Lowkie®

Lately I've been going through a phase
I got ninty-nine problems I'm not willing to face
Not because I don't want to
I just don't have the strength it takes
Everything I touch breaks
-
Well except for this pen and paper
And the words on this page
-
With every word I write down
The weight becomes lighter
The problems becomes lessor
And for a brief moment
Life becomes better
And I gain my strength again
-
For a brief moment I don't feel insane
And although life is a game I didn't choose
I still press continue and carry on playing
Facing my ninty-nine problems
With just a mere pen and paper
And these sonnets I'm creating
-
Lowkie®

Tick tock real talk
How do I get pass this mental block?
I know
I'll have some of this white rock
Crush it up like its white chalk
Up my nose you go
My brain you have to unlock
Pop a pill to get loose
I mean, why not?
-
Tick tock real talk
Where's there's smoke, there's fire
Or a couple of stoners getting higher
I wonder who’s their supplier
Maybe he got what I need
To satisfy my desire
-
Tick tock real talk
I can hardly walk
One shot
Two shots
Three shots
Four shots to many
I can hardly see the door
How did I end up on the floor?
I think I had enough
But there's this voice telling me
"You'll be okay, drink some more"
-
And that's when it hits me
I'm intoxicated to my core
Inside my head, its war
Control over my body
That's what we're fighting for
No more
I want all these substances gone
But it’s too late now
I'm already torn
-
Lowkie

Lost in my own reality
Cursed to live in this fake world,
Where models wear make-up
And man kind always afraid of something.
Where mistakes turn into regrets
And pain turn into hate.
No wonder everyone looks upset.
Where broken morals turn into bottles.
Oh how the game has changed.
-
Lost In My Own Reality.
Where women are referred to as "*******"
And concerned citizens are "snitches"
Is this the best we can do?
Huh, talk about "gifted".
Streets is funny out here,
Seeing a 12 year old crying
"What do I have to live for?"
While downing his sorrow with a bottle.
Is this how we live?
Huh, talk about "evolved".
-
Lost In My Own Reality.
What happened to the Transparency?
Or is that Transgender too?
What happened to Trust?
Because nowadays there's only Lust.
Everyone looking for a quick bust.
Forgetting that they're ruining someone's future fast.
What happened to commitment?
Lemme guess, it went suicidal too?
Seems like that's the best way to escape every problem.
But what you're actually doing is avoiding a trap to fall into another.
But I guess that's what happens when you're "psychotic"
Is this how we live?
Huh, talk about "matured".
-
Lost In My Own Reality.
I guess this is why some people prefer never to wake up.
-
Lowkie®

Lately I've been having some off days
Lately I've been feeling dazed
Physically I'm here
Mentally I'm in a different space
Walking around with a blank face
-
Socially awkward
I don't mix well in a crowded place
They ask me
"What's on your mind"
I tell them
"If I told you, you'd be left with a bitter taste"
Cause the truth is a hard pill to swallow
So, I keep it in a case, just in case
-
Leave me be
In my head space
It's my safe space
Although my depression and anxiety
Took up most of the space
I still think of you when I look at that blank space
-
Lowkie ®

I'm a poet, but not a conversationalist
All these thoughts going through my head
But really, I don't talk a lot
"Why you so quiet"
My tongue is caught in a knot
I'll probably turn into a different person
After another shot
-
I'm a thinker, not a speaker
If you want to get know me
You'll probably have to dig deeper
Analyzing my every response
Before finding a simple one
That might hopefully reach you
-
I'm a poet, I'm a thinker
I'm not a conversationalist, I'm not a speaker
If you approach me
I'll probably keep it brief
Maybe it's a blessing or maybe it's a curse
But if you want to get to know me
I'll have to let you into my conscious first
-
Lowkie©