Remember those old sitcoms
Some of us grew up with
How they used to make us laugh
When life for some seemed so carefree

All in the family, Barney Miller, the Jeffersons
Those were what showed for me after school
And I got used to them and the stories they told
Creating a mindset in me that lasted decades

But understanding life better today
My views have changed
And my heart has softened
It saddened me wondering how I'd have felt
If I was gay and had to watch those shows

The bigotry was so blatant and cruel
The words, the treatment, the ridicule
I watched the disrespect so open in the 70s
And felt so sad for my gay friends who endured it

I cry for you all now
How that all must have hurt
Breaking your spirit just turning on a TV
And not knowing if your feelings would be crushed

Today many of my friends are gay
I recently came out as trans
And I find myself deep within the LGBT community
In heart and mind, body and soul

Life is a road with so many turns
And the point of this is
That what we thought we knew about ourselves yesterday
Often leads us to a life today so different we never would have imagined it

Let go the ugliness of the past
And embrace the beauty and wonder of today
Get to know anyone you don't understand
And love and care for them, and you'll see inside we're all the same

by Lj Mark 2015

You take that usual last deep breath
One last look in the mirror
And lock the door behind you
Headed for the train going downtown

Reminding yourself that Mondays are not that bad
The train stops and you walk down the sidewalk
Avoiding people when possible
Pretending to be listening to music when it's not

From behind you to the left
A cat call and laughter
Slurs are heard
It's all a joke

But your heart sinks
Your hands tremble
Your eyes begin to tear
Your spirit sinks to the ground

It's just another day
Like so many before
That end with crying into a pillow
Wishing this breath was your last

Lj Mark 2015

At first you feel you're really free
Showing off the real you for all to see
Step back world because here you come
Head held high, let's have some fun.

Then slowly those friends who wished you well
Didn't notice or see you when you fell
You search for others but no such luck
You start feeling alone and things begin to ****

It gets harder to go out and face the world
Your life slows down from that initial swirl
All those places you longed to roam
Are lost in the reality that it's easier to stay home

Your world gets smaller each time you stay home
Smaller............
........smaller.....
.............smalle­r
Until it and you are all but gone

It seems like an eternity, but was just a year ago.
I could have gotten in trouble with my wife,
For my pillow smelling like perfume.
But now she expects it each night.

She might have left me in fury last year,
For finding women's jewelry on our nightstand,
Or a smear of makeup near my mouth.
But now she expects that to, ever gives me a wink.

If you haven't guessed, she's quite the gal,
She doesn't just allow me these things,
Things that could cause fights and divorce for some,
But encourages me, even suggests new things.

These things I do might seem a bit strange,
But she actually loves me more than before.
Because when I came out as trans,
I became so much more complete for her.

by Lj Mark

Do you know how it feels to be free
To wake up and be able to live
The life you have always had visions of
Is now yours to live just like you dreamed

You can look any way that you want to
Be as beautiful as you imagined you could be
Wear colors and styles once forbidden
But now waiting for you to slip in

You can look in the mirror and smile now
For you truly fit into your skin
It's as though a light shines all around you
All because you chose not to fit in.

by Lj Mark 2015

I'm tired.
I'm tired of it taking more mental energy
and self confidence for us to go out in public,
than it does most people.
I don't blame a person, or religion,
its much more than that.
I blame society in general, its peer pressure,
It's structure designed to keep everyone
in small boxes, all thinking the same.
I blame manufacturer's for making every item
we buy gendered male or female,
Just to sell more and make more money.
I blame the media for its lies and ignorance
when reporting about us..
And I blame us is some ways for allowing it.
I blame myself for not doing more,
but I'm just too tired of fighting, struggling
and having to do it all again tomorrow.
I'm Transgender.. And I get tired.

by Lj Mark 2015

I used to think I was all alone
in feeling the way I do
I went through life wondering
if there were others to

Now I know I'm not alone
and I can be myself
And friends are always here for me
in case I need some help

I wouldn't be here without you
My lovely transgender friends
I'd still be lost and hiding
In my closet until the end

Lj Mark 2015