Don't look over.
Whatever you do, don't look over.
Don't look at his eyes.
Don't look at his crooked smile.
Don't look at the tension in his jaw.
Whatever you do, don't look over.

Don't let your mind wander.
Whatever you do, don't let your mind wander.
Don't think of the possibilities.
Don't wonder about your future.
Don't get your hopes up.
Whatever you do, don't let your mind wander.

Don't feel the butterflies.
Whatever you do don't feel the butterflies.
Don't let them swarm inside you.
Don't let them flutter in your chest.
Don't let them mislead your heart.
Whatever you do, don't feel the butterflies.

Don't touch him.
Whatever you do, don't touch him.
Don't reach out to him.
Don't lean on his arm.
Don't grab his wandering fingers.
Whatever you do, don't touch him.

I am an expert in lying. I lie when I smile back at you. I lie when I look into your deep brown eyes. I lie to myself every day and night thinking you might want me. I am an expert in hiding. I hide my flushed cheeks every time you interrogate my eyes. I hide my racing heart every time you go to touch my skin. I hide every thought of wanting to kiss you until neither one of us can breathe. I am an expert in trying. I try to forget our secret talks about life. I try to hold myself back from saying something I shouldn't. I try to remember that we can't be together. I am an expert in running. I run to you with every thing I need. I run to you every time you call out for me. I run from everything I knew because I know you now.

I am not an expert in fighting. I don't fight for the things I want most. I don't fight my feelings inside, even when I should. I don't fight for you.

And that may be the worst in me.

Shaky on the inside
Shaky on the outside
Can’t keep still
Can’t keep calm

Always in my poetry
I ask a lot of questions
It’s like I am not sure of my feelings
But I know the questions I need to ask

A gross misuse of my mind
A horrific abuse of my thoughts
Ask me a question
I won’t answer like you want me to

Questions wreck me
Tidal waves of anxiety
Where do they come from?
There I go again...

An imposter like no other
I have never seen his face
Never heard a truth come out of his mouth who is he?

Where can I find the real him?

If I do, will it be any better?

Even if it’s worse at least it’ll be real.

An imposter like no other
    Catch him if you can.

I hurt for them. I hurt for how broken they feel. I hate how lost they are and I weep for their souls. I weep for their loss and their pain. I cry for everything they are missing out on. I cry for their weary hearts. I sob for every time they turn away from those who care. I sob for their reckless escaping. I do all these things in love. Yet they ignore and reject me. I hurt for my unreciprocated care. I weep for my unheard words of love. I cry for everytime they turn away from me. I sob because I can’t save them no matter how hard I try. I do all these things because of love.