In a world like this
I wish you leave me

People who buys excessively
People who eats expensively
People who spend too much just going out to have a certain fun
People who spend too much time working, just to live a money spending life,
living to the expectation of what they want to get in live

Leave me to the wild
Leave me to live in the woods
Leave me to hunt for food
Leave me to the life of nature and wealth
Leave me to seek for inner soul needs

Eternal and longing
Where non can be found in a world of this
Where everything fades

Don't put your life in it
There is no eternal contentment to it

leave me to find the treasure to our inner soul
may live

We just cannot clicked,
We are just blood related,
That’s fine, we don’t have to live in relation to each other.
What’s the point, we never changed for the other.
What’s the point, if you’ve never been there to raise me up or to see me grow up.
Anyway it doesn’t changed the past,
And I don’t have any hope for our future.

Took a break from life
Because life almost took me away
Now I’m moving along again
It was draining when I had to pause
Because it never happened before
It felt like a crash a sudden abrupt stop
I was left alone and lost
But after 3 years I found life again
The life God gave me in 2003
And now everyday I just want to go only if he’s with me.

Only when you start
to feel the strangeness

then you are starting
to feel yourself

i am a fictional character as realistic
from where you are living

as real as you can see
as close as you can think of me here

close enough to have feelings like you do
close enough to know you have feelings for me too

i live a fictional live
a similar to yours
a fiction in fiction

we are not much in difference
would you say, you like to come over again?

its a flee
its for a moment
its making memories
its passing by

its moving on
its looking back
its experience
its a way of living it

b e h i n d

They say dreams are clouds
Evaporates
Fluffy and just nice to look at

When my mind is distant away from you.
It is safe and sound.
Away from a sweet dream; bitter nightmare.

Old enough to be grateful for what you've provided for me.

Old enough to take care and think for myself.

Old enough to say farewell to you.

And old enough to know I am still afraid of losing you.

Uncertain is my only certain
Let me be
There are no other way
As no one knows
Even our next second

Pull it off
And stop the sound from getting into your ears

Leave the thoughts of what you see
Even when you close your eyes

Choose to lay it down
As you've already lied on your bed

Think about nothing but how tired
And you need to sleep

Don't you ever worry
Before you go to sleep

Just go to sleep
As how you would go to sleep

I learnt about the four letters word

The fast in time
The hope in pain
The past of love

And most of all faith will last

Dreams are 99% sweat
I am not ready to swim for that

I'm poorer than my dreams.
My 99% sweat can't afford to beat $€¥¢
even if I swim for that.

I am ready. Godspeed.
In labour of love, even as a professional amateur.
Feeling ambitious... Getting ready to swim for that.

stroke
by
stroke

Critic says...
People muddle at what you are doing.
A crowd is displaying signs of apathy.
Scrutiny is upon you, fear you will be.

Comment says...
"Some people are poorer than your dreams;
  they are ambitiously bankrupt."
"Many people doing the same art."
"Is not for everyone."
"She's just doing."
"Not my fancy. "
"I hate that the idea exist."
"You gotta get love and you gotta get hate for the things you love to do."

I say...
My pleasure is not in pleasing you.

My highest ambition, hopefully my forever joy.
In my goal and sweat, my proudest.
I choose to point it back to you.

I am feeling movement as you rise
and I sink in the ocean depth.

Stroke
By
Stroke

I will swim

The wind blew
The paper boat sailed
I did not hold back
And you let it sail...

I'm thinking of making it cheery
Jovial in disguise
In one's high spirit
Like the lucky one
From her merriest heart

Love is hard to imagine
Love is the hardest to keep
Love is the hardest to give
Love is simple
Love is deep
Love is everything I wish I could do
Love is real

\
I've lost my friend, and I've lost what it means to be a friend
I am out of touch, to this people world and what it takes to have a friend

A friend, what does that mean?

There is nothing it could mean to me
Since the day, I've found strangers along with feelings and thoughts
Strangers they come and strangers they leave
Love and hate they bring, hate and love they leave

And what does that mean to have a friend?

\\
There is no friend, not in this world with people
What we take are words and words they slip
Faces we see, shallow as it can be
Forever, as it may last
The last i count, a day or two
We keep secrets and secrets are words
Tales we hear, comedy we laugh
And what is left, are words that have slip

And sleep, our attention span we forgot what have been

\\\
Lively strangers forever we be
How happy this could be
Flaws we see like diamonds it should be
And in this people world, we all leave words in people's ears

My highest ambition is to live for God inside out.

She found a new friend in the clinic room.
Her favourite appointment every other day.

Life is unattended with no one to talk with, nothing else to do.
A little comfort from each session, and still goes on with complaints.

No one knows what is going on in her head...
The pain in her body won't leave her.

Every other day, she is still ignored.
She is still unnoticed.

covers of clouds
i'm still blooming
it's still midsummer madness

Ah yes!
I couldn’t maintain the highs
The waves of the low hits me hard
I couldn’t hold it together
And it kept trying to take me away
I almost…

I love him
I love his still small voice
I love how he gently whisper to me
I love the way he shows his love to me
I love because he loved me

A Father you can never compromise.
A Love unexplainable.

You kept me awake all by myself but you occupied my mind.

The sun sure knows how to be ****.

I think I do
Love myself so much
Almost to an obsession

I wonder
If you've ever loved me in any ways...

Music was very much part of my life
I grew up with a Walkman and a mp3 player
I listens to my parents favourite songs
It brought me through places
It played the right beat at the right time
It hid me in low times
And it even brought me to my lowest point in life
When I was feeling high and unconscious
It was quite a journey
I almost gave up on music but it saved me again

think of me whatever
say of me whatever
because I am whatever

I feel
I feel for sadness
I feel the lost
I feel for whatever senses that comes across

I feel that i might be feeling too much
I feel intensity
I feel wrath
I feel for most unspeakable mind

I feel that you might miss
the chance of feeling what you should feel

It is easier to have attraction to things.
You can buy it with a 2 year guarantee.
You don't even need to be in a relationship.
Isn't it easier to love things?

Because when the night comes
The light in my eyes get lidded up

The silence of dark blue
Gets louder than the day

And nobody from the day
could haunt me

As I head outside
with lights in my eyes

All I see
Is a beautiful field of glowing flowers

There seems to be no end as I walk along these little paths

I am a flower.
A decorative.
In a corner of a room.
I am a vein plant.
I have a purpose.
To be aesthetic.

You see me alive.
You see me well.
I don't die.
I am plastic.

I know you.
You only want me to be a still art.
A silent watch.
In a corner of a room.

He presses my heart
I couldn't breathe
As much

Irregular heartbeat
Suppressing pain
At my chest

I wonder if I'm going to die
At this rate of my breathing condition

Taking a few deeper breath
Hoping to take in some air

My breathing is still the same
My Irregular heartbeat
Suppressing pain
At my chest

It makes me hard to be
awake neither to stay asleep

In my sleep and when I'm awake
I could count my irregular heartbeat

I wonder when am I going to die
As I struggle in heartrending
Awake and neither asleep

342am and I am hungry in the dark
I will run to the kitchen
Like It was flying jumping
And ripped of any food I can find
Like vampires in twilight
Hunting for fresh blood to drink
To satisfy our hunger in the dusk

Only a desire I have is to open my fridge
To drink a cup of fresh milk
Like my hunger thirsting for something fresh

Like the vampires sensing
There is certainly
No such fresh object in the fridge
In the despared just like them
******* any passing blood
I look for little bites
To grab

Why am I not at rest

I should think about one
But then I think all at once
With all, I ended up with none

Stress is an ****
Laughing is about rest
Being at your best
Not worrying about less

Living by one step
To keep in track

Afraid is not a step
It is a dangerous trap
So give yourelf a slap
And return for laps
To keep yourself in track

Don't Panic
And remind yourself to "Just whack only"
When you are stuck remember "One at a time"

Breathe, Sleep, Create, Repeat.
Breathe, Eat, Drink, Repeat.
Breathe, Love, Life, Repeat.
Breathe, People, Collaborate, Repeat.
Breathe, Live, Repeat.

Do you think I can apply
Sleeping less is more?

Sleep less
Yawn more
Stay awake even more

Take naps
Hate sleeps
Stay awake ever more

Need rest
Take breaks
Stay awake forever more

Sleep less
Wake up early
Have a little rant, every morning

Sleep less
Travel far
Have an abundant of rants from travelling long..

Sleep less
Coffee and tea, maybe a little more

Our minds are confused by the light we see, the artificial light we thought it was right.

There is a shape
A certain patterns
We've constructed
A system we've decided
How we should follow
And do as it is repeated

It has come and form again
A flow required
As our nature perceived
This is a cycle like endless circle

Sometimes I question
Why must we build it to have it followed
Why can't it be disform and how we formed it
And why do we do it this way

And somehow that is the only way

There is a shape
A certain patterns
We've constructed
A system we've decided
How we should follow
And do as it is repeated

It has come and form again
A flow required
As our nature perceived
This is a cycle like endless circle

Sometimes I question
Why must we build it to have it followed
Why can't it be disform and how we formed it
And why do we do it this way

And somehow that is the only way

/\
I found a way out

The Only way out
You will never find in the system
Step out and you might find your way out

Overridden
It is a cycle like endless circle
It is the nature of our deepest calling
In the system that do not answer

It is shaped in phenomenon
An Intelligent Designer constructed

A choice for us to follow

Deprived of sleep
Derived from one of the black sheep
Lost in the woods
Unable to skip

I gave love a try
And now he's forever mine
Now I dare you to try

Our body, not well love.
Our body dim as *****.
Our body dim to shame.
Our body so use to misuse.

Our body structure to a shape.
Our body sold to pressure and beliefs.
Our body not to our advantage.

Our body not well love.

Our body not to be mistaken,
for being taken.

Our body we will love as it is good.
Our body we do not offer, to a price we have to pay for our own body.

Let me pretend for I fear the after love.
The pain that comes in two.

The pain that last, as long as love exist.

Will our pain be lovable?
Will you be able to love my pain?
Do I want to love you like myself?

Such love is a mess.
Two sinners coexist.

Why do we even trouble?

Let me pretend, for I fear unhappy ending.