Who's wondeing how to take the pain away?
Who's stuggling?
Who did waked in the dawn with a fall?
Head in a sad taking,
Who fed ?,
Through the last night's drink?
Then began to think,
"Is there any tomorrow ,or else"
Who designed the fears of the day?

Unpredictable words
Surprising thoughts
I'm waiting for that day
I'm looking forward to that time
That things will get better
And you would understand
How my heart speaks

I created a beast
Me myself can't conquer
Because only you has the key
To unlock the door and to know
Who really I am....

Can I ask you a question?
Are you sure that you’re ok?

Are you sure you’re not fighting a battle,
that goes on day by day?

Your answer always seems to be the same,
“I’m telling you, I’m fine”

Always followed by the same sentence,
“Can you not see that my life is full of sunshine?”

I try to believe you,
I swear I do

But deep down under,
I can’t help but question if it’s really true.

I see you in the the hallways,
always laughing with your friends

Do they even seem to realize,
That you are one step closer to causing your own end?

I can’t help but worry,
I can’t help but think

If all the **** that you deal with,
Makes you feel like life stinks.

Everyone calls you a hero,
Everyone calls you their idol

Do they ever stop and think,
That you might be suicidal?

No. Of course they don’t,
Because you always put on a show

You tell yourself that you’ll do what it takes,
to ensure that they’ll never know.

You know that you can’t hide forever,
But that doesn’t stop you from trying.

You never had the choice to not be the strong one,
But that doesn’t keep you from crying.

It’s okay my child,
All will be good.

You say that you don’t believe me,
But I knew you never would.

You walk around,
Always showing your happy face

You try so hard not to show your flaws,
The ones you desperately try to erase

For years now,
It’s always been the same

Trying to keep your chin up,
Not trying to show the shame

I tell you that it’s okay to let go,
You tell yourself it’s not

You say that this is what you deserve,
That this on yourself you’ve brought

I tell you once, I tell you twice,
That this is not the way it is

You look the other way and whisper under your breath,
“This is my problem. Not yours nor his.”

I tried to be there for you,
Giving you a shoulder on which to cry

But you always turned the other way,
Always asking why, why, why?

The simplest of questions,
That you are still to answer honest

Has the power to make you feel uneasy,
It makes you feel the smallest

I will try not once, not twice,
But as many times as it takes

To get you to reveal yourself,
To get you to ease on the brakes

So once again,
I’ll try to say

Are you sure you’re alright?
Are you sure you’re okay?

Can a she be a she without a he?
Can a stranger define sexuality?
Points and whispers are they all worth our while?
Or are days made simpler wearing denial?

Shadows of judgement cast an iron view,
Chatters and mutters of "look, is it true?"
Worries of being out or going in,
Knowing whether to cleanse or live in sin.

Underground parties let freedom rejoice,
Open your heart and give way to your voice.
Society judges all of the time,
But my sexuality will always be mine.

Bright lover, sun bather.
Your soft glow hums, shimmers
Like a flickering fly as it plunges into the light.

Low whisper, dark corner.
Your walls, bruised by the
Aching cries that reverberate throughout
The valley, moan and groan.

Cold shiver, wide river.
Your rushing currents pull and
Tug at my body, naked and afraid,
As moon beams bounce off of my startled eyes.

Hot fever, sweet ginger.
Your smooth figure exhales and
Melts on the linoleum, and I slip and fall,
With little desire to rise.

You make me want to write the poetry down
That I start to feel getting lost at night
Everything can be tangled up
But I’d rather just feel the night
After the day was spent holding you
Let go of the handlebars
And breathe the trees gold from backyard lights in
The air is thick and it makes me think of chasing you
Sweating with you
Imperfection is so transparent and naked
In every itch in our voice and tone in our skin

Pocket music late night bike rides
It weaves into every pedal and bend
I can start to feel a contentment and stillness
I can sip and bite down on a life of my own
I will always stare down and retract eye contact
And squeeze through moments where I am bare
Until I fall apart into your arms of knowing that feeling
I will drink too much coffee so I begin to shake
I will bleed myself all over every crevice of you
And into life because that is where you extend
I will get lost so that I will be found
The lights that manifest into the air will guide me
The leaves that I miss but still see…
They dance like my heart branches out into veins
In the hot moment of being able to be nothing but myself