Jaded

A bit jaded.
Somewhat faded.
Over concentrated.
Not exaggerated.
Simply created.
Under stimulated.
Mostly discriminated.
Never validated.
Often manipulated.
Frequently evaluated,
And desacrated.
Extremely frustrated.
Been incarcerated.
No one vindicated.
Only fictionated.
A life debated.
As demostrated.
Stay isolated.
Fully insulated.
Somehow imaginated.
Its simulated.
Be educated.
Ever inspirated.
And a bit jaded,
As I stated.

L. Mack

5/18/18

Again And Again...

Here ye, hear ye,
For all those who are dear to me.
You didn’t learn your lesson,
My fithlty crime is renewed.
You should of protected your sanity
And left me behind.
I have strayed into there again.
Again and again,
I keep going back to my white pain-free friend.
He frees me from my earthly bonds,
And melts away my pain and grief,
Anything in our way, it‘s gone...
Sheds me of my endless sorrow and worries.
Its you that caresses my body ever so gently, Only like a great lover can do.
I've known you most of my life,
I know what I like.
Oh, instant ecstasy,
How I’ve missed you so, missed you so.
Welcome my dear friend, my lover,
How have you been?
You simply kiss my lips ever so lightly,
And let me breath you in.
Your taste, your smell, your poison,
Whisk me away I’m yours!
Lay with me for a while,
Don’t leave me like the rest.
Drain all the loneliness from my soul.
Make it all fall away, far, far away.
By my side you've always been,
Yet I have ran from you many of times.
Never the less here you are and you alone, Comforting me tonight...
Quietly knowing that soon the blame will come...
And I will, as always,
Deny that you and I are lovers.
It will be brutal,
I'll call you every name in the book and more.
But it’s okay,
You can always catch me again later.
Playing this game all of my life,
I know that you will get the highest score,
Next time you’ll hold me just a little bit tighter.
No doubt, you will be standing by to watch me, Again and again,
When I fall,
Again and again,
Hope I can keep my balance this time without you my friend.
I’ve learned that my hungry lust for you is deep. But at what cost?
So this is my dear john letter to you,
My lover, my friend.
I am brutal and honest with my farewell.
I’m so sorry for this my dear,
But it has to be done...

I will lay with you till your ***** dust has gone, Use you for everything I can and more,
And then,
Just when you think you’re here to stay,
I’ll shove you right off my bed,
And tell you to be gone.
I’ve gotten what I wanted from you,
You are all used up, empty inside.
Leave I said,
We had our fun,
We mind ****** and it felt good.
But now I'm done.
Parties over baby,
Your as cold as your ice.
Don’t you come around here again.
I told you get out!
Don’t ever come round here no more.
I can live without you!
I don’t need you anymore,
Did you hear me you blood ******* *****!
Go sell yourself elsewhere,
Don’t ***** around me any more!
Get, go on,
I know what to do without you.
Why are you so vain?
This story isn’t about you.
Its about how much I love my three handsome sons.
Again and again,
I will learn to bare the pain, sorrow, grief and shame.
This ain’t my first life lesson,
Now I will pick myself up and go on.
I’ll start over once again,
Again and again.
Over and over,
Again and again.
Goodbye my white dusty friend.

L. Mack

02/10/10

Reminiscing

Oh baby,
All of our amazing memories.
The summer beside our beautiful lake.
And we're kissing all of the
-all of the hurt away.

Reminiscing,
Stripping so we could go skinny dipping.
Making sweet love all through the night.
And we didn’t have a care in the world..

Reminiscing,
We were so complete,
Happy was all we could be.
Our hearts knew the truth in our love.
Knew we’d be missing.

Reminiscing,
Never a bother in the world.
You’d pull me into your cradling body
Holding on little closer each time.

Reminiscing,
How broken we were
Yet together we were whole.
Oh baby,
Our souls were intertwined
Oh the love we shared.

Reminacing,
We were wild, young and free,
And so in love.
Oh my hearts aching,
For us to run free again.
Not a responsibility or care.
Just let me fall into your arms again.

Reminiscing,
We were so happy and in love,
Oh we had it all.
Everyday we spent away
Is one more day staying
broken and all alone.

Oh Reminiscing,
Why can’t we just be free,
free forever with you.
Oh baby,
Everyday-
I said everyday is a wasted day without our love.

Reminiscing,
You reaching out and pulling me in,
We fit together so perfectly.
Your my missing puzzle piece.
Now the worlds got us chained and bound.
We are no where to be found.

Reminiscing,
If only we could go back to those days.
Baby,
Reach out for me.
Pulling me in,
Fitted together perfectly.

Oh reminiscing,
Our summers eves full of passion
And not a care in the world.
Oh baby,
Just hold me tighter and never let me go....
Reminiscing.
L. Mack
04/14/2010

More Than An Addict

I am more than just an addict.
Open your eyes and you'll see
Much more than the laws I've broken.
I am more than the drug that trys to conquere me.
Somewhere in here I am still me.
Look at what lies deep within.
Past my well created chamelon.
I am more than this addict you see.
I am more than a drug.
I am a daughter, a mother, a friend and a lover.
A christian, a writer and quiet the survivor.
Open your minds and see.
I am more than an addict.
More than a statistic,
more than a drug.
Somewhere inside here...
I am still me.
And I am loved.

L. Mack
11-24-15

Shedding

I'm shedding you see.
Soon you will not recognize me.
There are many changes,
I used to flee.
But now I am free.
Redecorated the old me.
I'm shedding you see.
Wait til you see the new me.

Lori Mack
5/19/18

Suppose To Be

Thought we'd grow old together, make memories and bicker back and forth like siblings do. Watch each others children grow. Attend graduations, weddings and births. Lean on each other through the deaths and tragedies. Camping in our favorite spots, playing hide and seek in the dark. Wild car rides with music blasting. I thought I'd have a lifetime of your unforgetable onory grin and big brother bear hugs. That was how it was suppose to be. Today I reflect on our childhood together. There are some good memories there. I followed you anywhere and wanted to be just like you. Jump ahead to when we both had families. Makes me smile thinking of our children playing together. You asked me to accept your wife and love her like a sister. Guess what brother, I still do. I sure do miss you. But most of all I miss how life was suppose to be.

  L. Mack
   6/7/18
    In memory of my brother
      Lance Mack
        3/18/67 - 6/7/06

Become

As he got out of the car,
Heading into work,
I gazed proudly at him.
He was a man now,
Always my child,
But not a baby anymore.
I studied his gait and posture.
It was so familiar...
I realized for first time,
How much he was like you.
Tall, slender, handsome and shy.
Loves to explore the outdoors.
Camping, hiking and tubing.
He is polite and quite,
Til there something important to say.
Smart, strong, and determined.
Nothing was ever handed to him.
If he wanted something,
He worked hard for it.
Never did he like to play sports.
He'd rather grow a garden,
Or make glass into a beautiful art.
His art takes my breath away.
Seeing the man he has become,
Its so bittersweet.
Our youngest,
Our baby boy,
You would be so proud,
Of the man he has become.
I'll never understand,
Why you chose to not be apart of their lives. Though we we're over,
They still needed you.
It's been ten years now,
Since they've heard your voice.
If you could only see,
What our youngest son has become...
Now that he is a young man,
It's like I'm meeting a younger you...

L. Mack

5/18/18