it's not so bad,
being alone that is
once your mind and soul
has turned numb
your body will follow
and it becomes okay

so when you ask me whether i'm lonely
i guess it would be accurate
for me to say yes and no
but it's okay really
i don't need pity and your useless love
because love doesn't get you through life in the end

you should try it some time
if you ever experience
something painful
come join me
in a shell of your own

we will sing the songs of past times
bright pink tinged with cold blue
and it will stop hurting for you
over time
when you become as numb as me

then you will see
that it's better to be lonely
than to be afraid

and i swear to god that it's nothing really
just a little thought
niggling in the back of my mind
i really ought not to pay attention to it
to let the seed die before it blossoms
rapidly and uncontrollably
bringing undescribable pain and joy
trepidation and sunshine mixed together
in a steel *** simmering over a smouldering fire
but the smallest thing brings out
huge reactions that are uncalled for and in the end i'm still too afraid and too unsure
about everything to address the issue

and so, i swear to god, that it's nothing really
even though my heart breaks a little bit everyday
even as pink touches my cheeks and refuses to leave
even as everything churns in my brain in wild circles

it's nothing, really

she was caught up with friends
more lively than she
more than charmed,
she tagged along with glee

life was like bubbly champagne
sweet and fizzy
elegance and with a bit of bite
there simply wasn't anything more she could ask for

she was caught up with friends
more daring than she
more than charmed,
she tagged along with glee

adrenaline sweet as a sugar rush
coursing through her veins
she closed her eyes against the wind,
powerful and empty

doubt niggled at her heart
a small worm in an apple
shaking her to the core
perhaps she should stay gone?

she was caught up with friends
more twisted than she
swept up in a whirlwind,
she was no longer free

will you still write for me
stories that spin whole new worlds
each character a dew drop
on an intricate web of lies

tell me a story of friendship and love
of bravery and courage
of chivalry that hasn't died
and of loyalty that shines bright

do you still care enough
to write a story for me?
something with starry-eyed princesses
and handsome knights
galloping horses and fearsome dragons

i wonder whether
those dragons get lonely
when they're misunderstood to be the evil
that the gallant knight subdues
what if
the knight was really the one
with a soul black as ash
brandishing a sword that would earn him glory
and a future in which the princess would be enslaved
by his treachery?

unsung stories of rowdy soldiers
creeping nights
and boisterous days
i want to hear them all

will you still write for me
even when i have stopped listening?
will you continue
to strive for a better world
with your words and ink-stained fingers?

do you
still care enough to write?

kinda wanna go home and shop mindlessly, let the dull clicking of my mouse be my zen and then regret it when the high wears off

kinda wanna go for a walk that never ends and let my feet bleed through my unlaced sneakers and stain the sidewalk

kinda wanna dye my hair blue, and maybe the colour will turn my fingers into tiny smurfs and make me less boring and more worth noticing

kinda wanna sleep until my brain gets tired of itself and shuts down forever

kinda wanna let go,

but kinda wanna live too