how do you draw power
from your land
when it has been taken

                                         taken

                                                       taken
and you taken from it
displaced into violence

when your reflection
is empty
who do you become

in a world of ever
multiplying black-and-white
copies of people not-you

who are you
when you can't see
yourself in them

mithridatism
the act of
poisoning until
                      you
are no longer
                      vulnerable

to you
  to your
heat, heart, humor

taking you
piece by piece
until I can
stomach
             you
                  whole

expectation is
the heart render
the tipping point
of my beating center

that which he so skillfully
cut out of its home
tender fingers taking willfully
without my notice

there we stay
twisting, snapping, following
each other
round and round and round
locked
in battle unwinnable

teeth sunk into
my thigh
hands at your furred neck
grasping, growling struggle
neverending

in my dreams, I can't see your eyes. those galaxies in miniature, amber supernovae exploding in my heart. they are obscured, benighted, hidden by the gleam of your sunglasses. an edge of light cuts off them, blinding me to you. blinded to you and your intent.

in my dreams, your hands cup my jaw. you pull me to you, I settle in your lap and we curl around each other like paint is mixed. the image of us rippling, distorted, a spectral projection twisting and swirling until we are no more.

in my dreams, we are separate. independent. isolated. I think I can glimpse your eyes, then you turn and they're gone. you push me away. I push myself away. I watch your curls tumble over the edge of your sunglasses while you laugh with someone else. you're unknown to me.

in my dreams. I can't see your eyes.

you
     non-
colonizer

friend, companion, self-intellectualizing

non-
      colonizing
colonizer

who loves, cares, hurts
              [ me ]

lays an offering
of violence
                  at
                     my
                         feet

non-
     colonizing
colonizer

this is how you love
           [ me ]