I can't get out
I'm stuck in this cycle
Over and over
Again and again
I make the same mistake
Because I'm too stupid
To realize
That it's my own choices
That caused all this pain
Well done, me.
I've succeeded at ruining
Everything

I hated this
I didn't want to hurt you
But you wouldn't stop
     "Stop, please wait. I just want to talk." I called out to you
You turned your head to look back at me
     "Why should I?"
I wanted to scream it to the stars
     Because I love you.
I just lowered my gaze
     "We need to talk."
     "I don't want you to hurt me." Your voice was barely above a whisper
    Neither do I.
I took a step closer
But you retaliated in fear
     "Stop now Lycan! I can't do this." You yelled
It stung
     "Careful, you're treading on ice" I lowered my voice to a growl
     "You wouldn't do anything. I know you. You're predictable"
Plunge the knife into my back an twist
     "I'm anything but." I couldn't cage this anger.
You laughed, in a sad sorrowful way, but it was colder than anything I've ever encountered.
     "You're just waiting to be tamed, right?"
Snap, snap

I looked straight into your eyes, which were now bursting with the reflected gold of my own.
      "Run." I whispered. Only seconds where left.
    "Why?" You didn't understand.
       "Run for your life, Rin." I was struggling now
Fear dawned on you. You turned tail and ran.

                                    "The ice just broke." I whispered to myself

Before beginning the chase.

If I had the courage I would tell you
that I like the way your hair looks
and that you smell really nice and
that I want to order a pizza and
watch movies and cuddle on the
couch until we fall asleep together
with the tv still on, but I'm too
scared that you don't want the
same things I do.

My life is crumbling
and all I can do
is stand here, waiting for help.
I've helped myself all I can,
and bad things keep happening.
I need company,
I need love,
I need comfort.
My life is crumbling
and all I can do
is watch.

there are many things i can stop.

i can stop myself from jumping into the road with cars coming to and fro.

i can stop myself from dancing to my favourite song,
out of fear of being ridiculed.

i can stop the clock,
and turn back the hands of time,
hoping to actually go back into time.

i can stop myself from eating for days,
out of fear of getting fat.

i can force myself to study a four page speech in two days
and read off a Shakespeare novel
for an exam the following day.

i can fight through menstrual pain,
but one thing i cannot do,
is stop myself from
falling in love
with
you.

h.s.