Go under water and breathe in.

2. Take your dinner knife and push it through your heart. Slowly.

3. Open up your skull, and fill it with bees. Dance around a bit to aggravate them.

4. Stare into the sun without blinking.

5. Stick your tongue to a stop sign pole when the temperature is below zero.

6. Walk across a fire pit. Hell, just stand still in the middle.

7. Run as fast as you can and hit the corner of your counter with your hip bones.

8. Bite on your lower lip until it bleeds.

9. Lie on the ground and have someone put rocks onto your chest.

10. Pour grits on the floor and kneel upon them. You'll bleed some, but that's okay.

10. Go outside during an autumn evening with a sweatshirt on. Do you feel that breeze?

9. Read the Bible and wonder why God didn't tell anyone to write a book solely about you.

8. Play with children.

7. Stay up late and watch your favorite shows under thick blankets and pillows.

6. Put up Christmas lights and turn off all the others and think of how happy you were in every Christmas you've ever had.

5. Go to your local ball park and catch a game.

4. Look at how the stars match the same constellations in your eyes.

3. Go camping and wake up early. Make sure you make hot chocolate and fried potatoes and wear a hoody the whole trip.

2. Read poetry and sit at the ocean.

1. Fall in love with yourself too.

I hate the fact
that I understand
why you love her
eyes so much
and I hate that I
understand why
someone would choose
anyone over me.
She is beautiful
and the only thing
slightly remarkable
about myself
is that I am in fact
a storm;
everyone is interested at first,
but they quickly flee
after realizing that I
carry too many heavy things.

Every girl loves you
They are hotter than me smarter funner
Every popular girl likes you
Girls with blond golden hair that sparkles in the sunlight
They always wear the latest fashion of clothing
They have the voice of an angel sweet like honey
The money that every boy would want
Instead you chose  me over all of them but why
Im too skinny and not popular
I do not have long blond golden hair that sparkles in the sunlight
I dont wear the latest fashion of clothing
I dont have the voice of an angel that is sweet like honey
I dont have much money just enough to buy a piece of gum
But still you turn  them down and came to me
Are you playing a joke on me or do you  really love me
Who would turn down the greatest opportunity in the world to own millions
Why did you choose me why

you know there are other girls right?
ones with softer skin,
and bluer eyes,
girls without scars on their hips,
and girls without a damaged soul.
there are girls who could love you more
girls who could love you better.
girls who actually know how to love.
i dont even know how to love myself,
and you expect me to be able to love you.
why would you choose me
when there are better girls for you?

I had gotten so used to self-hatred
That when he called me
"Beautiful"
I wondered why,
Why in the world
Would a bee leave
Roses, marigolds, sunflowers
And choose to be in the mud?
"Because YOU," he said,
"You are my lotus".

if i decided to let you break
how fast would you leave me?
if i told you not to
how fast would you hate me?
if i gave you a choice
would you choose to have a choice
or would you choose to try to explain to God
why you wouldn't let him help you?

and expect him to make an exception
because you had a bad life
and i would see you in my dreams
because i gave you permission
but i won't give you permission
to hate God
or permission
to love death
or permission
to fly into a house

*******
why are you so nice to me
when i am so *******
mean to you