Kathryn

Kathryn Nov 2018

Please sleep my baby
It's 2am
Your sweet smile
The way you look at me
I can't be angry with you
Please sleep my baby
I'm so tired
There's nothing wrong
Your clean warm and fed
It's not time to play
Please sleep my baby
I swear the sun will rise soon
How can you have so much energy
Are you laughing at me?
God I love you, but
Please sleep my baby

I'm so tired.... The babe won't sleep.... he's laughing at me....

#motherhood #baby #sleepless

Kathryn Oct 2018

It's crazy

It's crazy
You came into my life
So quickly things changed
My life found purpose
Every moment of pain
Id experience again and again
If I had know you were waiting
I felt your movement before anyone
Loved you before I laid eyes on you
It's crazy
I never would have thought
I'd feel this way
Sleepless nights are worth it
Something I would never say before
Your my everything
I cry as I rock you to sleep
This love I have for this tiny human
It's crazy

#motherhood #parenthood #pregnancy

Kathryn Oct 2018

Untitled

A young women took her life
Just down the street
A child in the school yard
Found her hanging from a tree...
2 brothers got into another fight
one stabbed the other over drugs
Blood stained the doors
He banged on for help...
6 shots broke the silence of the night
Some how he's still alive
Laid on the road I'm so familiar with
With bullets in his head....
This place I grew up is changing
maybe I'm more aware
Violence all around
Where does it end...
children arrested for selling drugs
*** trafficking
Police raids
In the last year I've seen it all...
I refuse to give up hope
This world I've brought my child into
it can be a beautiful place
Love can overcome hate...
...........
.

Needs editing... might delete later.... just a few things that have happened in my neighborhood in the past year

#suicide #gunviolence #violence #death

Kathryn Oct 2018

My baby

In a few short months you changed me
Took my world and turned it around
Everything in life seemed worth it
the moment I found out you existed
The struggles and depression
I'd go through them all again
if I knew I would hold you
Watch you sleep
Hear your laugh
I've never felt a love so deep
I'd do anything to keep you safe
Your my everything
my baby
My life

I can't explain how my life changed the moment I found out I was pregnant, or the moment I first held him

#pregnant #pregnancy

Kathryn Sep 2018

I wish....

There's a scar written on my soul
Your name forever etched on my heart
I don't think you will ever know
How much I tried to help
I wish I could have saved you
From the darkness that lingered and the pain that clung so deep
I've gone through so much since the last time we spoke
I'm a mother now, something we both know I never expected. I'm cherishing these moments of innocence
hoping that we will speak again praying to an unseen force that your safe and finally happy
I miss you
........

I refuse to believe you took your own life. You are to good of a person
I miss you. Please find me show me a sign.

#suicide #loss #friendship

Kathryn Jun 2016

Days Like Today

Days like today I miss you the most
When it hurts inside and I have no one to talk to.
Today’s hard my anxieties crippling
I can feel it in the core of my chest
Spreading outward to my fingertips,toes,even the ends of my hair
I considered ripping the strains from my head
But what does that accomplish?
Nothing but bald spots and more regrets
The poisons already in my veins
We both know its a **** up in my head
Just a chemical **** up...
That's what I try and remind myself
On days like today...

#depression #imissyou #bpd #borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

Kathryn Mar 2016

Tonight's different

I feel different tonight
It took awhile to get this way
strokes of a paintbrush helped
But the paint was only red
A flash of silver at the start
a slight sting
it's been awhile, I missed this.
Watching the beautiful droplets
caress the sides of the jar
I can't help but smile
Tonights different
.........

Im working on this....

#selfharm #painting #selfinjury