Kathryn

Kathryn Mar 2016

Tonight I sit quietly
Trying to keep what I'm about to do
Personal
Just the way I like it
Between me and my demons
I choose to fight with a single blade
Across the skin is where the battles held
Bubbles of red break the surface
Like the dawn of the sun
Until they too break and drip away
I keep these precious crimson tears
In mason jars.
Never to forget the times
The demons didn't win

Kathryn Feb 2016

22 hours (Find me)

I can't explain the way I feel tonight
I never gave up on you
You found your way back
I know you read these
You will know I'm talking to you
My eyes are blurred with tears
Happiness
22 hours is what I missed you by
But please know I always return there
Today, Tomorrow, a year from now
Ill always return there always
Find me

I got your messages :):) <3 I'm so happy

Kathryn Jan 2016

Only a black leather bound journal knows

I hurt more than usual today
Thinking back on the conversations we had
About nothing more than our lives
Your Hopes
My dreams
We shared them with each other
My fears
Your demons
I find myself returning
To the place we spent our hours talking
Knowing you won't be returning
Doesn't end my constant yearning for your presence
So many unanswered questions
I still talk with you
Everyday
Only now I listen to what you say
Threw my heart not my ears
Our Conversations are still as endless as always
Just altered
In a different way
I write you letters now
Kept safely hidden
Only a black leather bound journal
Knows how much I truly miss you

I'm missing a friend a lot today. He left my life just as fast as he entered it. All I can do is hope he's safe, and hope he knows I've never given up on him

Kathryn Nov 2015

You're not coming back

Do you know I'm thinking about you
wondering if your safe
I think about you all the time
Pray your still okay
That it all hasn't gotten to much for you
Everything I said to you
I hope you know I mean it all
Things wont be the same
If you never come back
Im haunted at night
Of thoughts that you're gone
Something is screaming inside
You're not coming back
Please......
I miss you...

Kathryn Oct 2014

.....

I lay awake in the dead of night
Looking to the stars for answers
where are you tonight?
are you safe? warm?
I speak to some unseen force
That some call God
In an attempt to make myself feel better
Hours of conversations
I have opened my soul
On nights like tonight
I realize how cold I am
How hate filled and angry
shut off from the world and Alone
how is it you managed to get me to open up?
please don't disappear
I know you can see the same stars I can
do you wish upon them too?
Closing my eyes its time to sleep
To have medicated restless Dreams

its been awhile...

Kathryn Sep 2014

Rain

The reason I love the rain?
you can't see the tears.

Kathryn Apr 2014

I Care...

Haunted by the memories of the days gone by
A family destroyed by addiction and lies
Nothing left but shadows and spider webs
Contact cut off by distance or by choice
Illness now makes me wish we were closer
Blaming myself for the time wasted between us
Even though no one is to shame
Things just turned out the way they did
Our paths were only meant to cross for moments
Please forgive me that I’m not broken over this
It’s hurting me more that I’m fighting to care
Understand it’s hard for me
You were Never there even though I tired
Cried so many tears because I didn’t understand
That it had nothing to do with me
Right now you’re fighting to stay alive
Tears have yet to find my eyes I’m scared
What happens if they never come?
Is this really the end?
Questions only time can tell while we wait
Destroying ourselves and self medicating
Ripped apart because we should have been close
Family should never be the cause of pain
Reasons for nightmares under clear skies
You always hurt the ones you love
Only because they care.......
Tonight.....I think I care....