i can still feel the tiny feet
of the static that
was running marathons when we first kissed.

i can still feel your burning
touch against my skin
and the times you
slipped your tongue in-

i can still feel you in colors like
lavender and grey
the silkiness of the sheets
the hex your body placed upon me.

i can still feel you like
a tug at my entire core.
i am always the one
who wants more.

I write these songs I'll never sing
Walk like I'm the ******* queen
Don't give a **** 'bout anything
Boy you were so mean to me

But that's okay 'cause this ain't love
Never will be, never was
I'm sure you didn't mean to give me hope
But that's alright because I'm over it

I'm over you, over me,
Over whatever the **** we were supposed to be
And I'm left here alone with my thoughts again
Neither a prayer nor a friend
To talk this out and lay to rest

And this bed is so much colder now
Despite you never being in it
I just feel the potential, overwhelming

Took my body, not my heart
Not like I had one for you to take in the first place

I hate your face, but I love the way you used me
Called me over, ****** me up
Physically bruised me
Guess you couldn't really even lose me

I was never yours, just a lonely girl with hours to spend
In a practically stranger's bed
And now I'm left alone with my thoughts again

Nothing I say ever makes sense
And you sensed that in me
Detached from me
On a mad quest for not my mind, my body
Senses intermixed - boy you wish
But you were just a short term solution to a long term problem
My mind's got pollution, need a potion just to fix it
Drink away my sorrows - don't even got a fake
But the smile on my painted face is fake enough to convince poor ******* like you to
Get me a drink
Give me a dance
Send me a wink
For a night
Same time next week, I'll be on the floor in tears
My vision going weak

'Cause no matter how hard I act like it don't matter
I find myself getting madder and madder
Walking right under the ladders
'Cause my life couldn't get sadder

And I know someday I'll really be over you - you being the one night stands -
When I'm twenty-two and respected with love from a man not a boy
You couldn't break my heart if it never was beating
And the feeling in my mind is that my patience is depleting -
Like the battery on my cell I stare at for, well, ten hours a day
Just trying to find a way to say I never cared about you anyway

I would if I could
You were never any good
Got my number in your contacts
Won't ever text me back

So I'm jaded and alone
Because you won't pick up that phone
I know I will never love you, just thought the things you said were true
About sticking around
And not letting me down
Like all those other people I've had to kick to the ground

Oh well, I guess closure's overrated
And in the end I'll never make it

Just a girl with a pen and a ****** up head
Staring her shadow down through the night
In her cold and empty bed

angry . I'm angry .
just tell me how you feel
how am I supposed to figure out what's not real
these feelings inside
they **** me and it hurts.
I just want to figure out
what me and this relationship are worth
so maybe we could try
so maybe it could last
only if we keeps what's in the past in the past.

I've owned up
To my Unfading Scars
The ones that didn't forget
Your touch.

The fear of letting go
I know it's fear of the unknown
Seeing if I walk alone
Although you gone
In steps I move
I'm afraid I have to choose
Be be alone again I dread
No one there to hold the thread
So afraid I'll fall again
I'm falling now and it not yet dead
Added to the the endless sleep
Scared of what may lie beneath
I know it's fear that holds me back
There's no way out
And no way back
What happens when the curtain falls
No one to find no one to call
I'm so afraid to be alone
I'm so afraid to be alone
X

Binges
and
wars -

where
is
morning?

To the heart,
that sometimes aches so.....

To the girl,
that caused the heart ache....

To the hurt,
that we learn to deal with...

I thank her,
for the love she gave me....

To the disappointment,
from things we couldn't work out...

To the people who stare,
who did not understand us...

To the haters,
who achieved their goal....

To the stake,
that was driven between us...

I thank them,
for ******* up my life....

To the girl,
who I will always remember...

To the good times,
which we had were many....

To the times,
she went out of her way for me...

To the times,
I could be there for her...

Are the times,
that will be hard to forget...