I love him so completely
That I rely on his strength
Never do I fear of him leaving me
Because he's there for me
He cares for me
Even my rediculous stories, he believes

I love him so deeply
That I need not fear any more
When he is by my side
The storm, that is called my life
Vanishes to clear skies

I love him so truly
That I will never love another
Even when our time is done
My love for him
Will forever live on

I love him unconditionally
That I don't even see
The flaws that he points out
Or when he gets on my nerves
My heart swells and pours out love

Pure
Like a rose, white
With no color

Innocent
Like a newborn child
Untainted, and certain

Until
the door was left
Wide open

Tears
Filled her eyes
As her life was filled with lies

Hurt
From others
Oh, how they'd deceived her

Afraid
Of living another day
For, she knew not
What tomorrow would bring

Until the day
She learned that

In order to survive
She had to become
What she feared the most

Deception
She soon became
A master of lies

Accustomed to
Being used and molested
By those she called "friends"

Tired
And neglected
She was no longer sheltered
From the world

Inside
She was still
That pure white rose

Knowing
That her actions
Were wrong

But still
That girl
Struggles to live
In a world so tainted
Deeply in sin

I don't know
Where you are
But I feel your eyes
Studying me intensely

I've seen you once
From the window of the church
In a black, hooded robe
You held a white candle
That burned so ominously
As the was dripped onto
the palm of your hands
You had a small, twisted smile
But the shadows cast out your image
That was the day
I knew I was finished

I've seen you twice
Backing my car
From the driveway
In my rear view mirror

Three times
From acrossed
The street

Each time
You grew closer
And closer
To getting me

On the fourth
You were in my yard
As I came home from work

And the fifth
Was the final straw
When, from my bedroom door,
Stretched your long fingers
Long nails
Bony yet frail
But somehow threatening
Down to the soul

"Don't come any closer"
She begged
Before it swallowed her whole

Sometimes
I wish my parents
Had never separated

Eventhough
I know they are better off
Without eachother...
I never see my mom
Because part of me
Can't stop being mad
About the way that she
Abandoned dad and took me away

This pain
Took over a year
To find its place
Inside of me

I want to hear mom's
Beautiful voice
Lull me to sleep
Singing "Baby Mine"
As she did when I was a child
And trace her finger
Over the bridge of my nose
As tears fell from my eyes
She was a comfort to me

I want my mom
To be here to help me
Through college
Because I'm in it alone

I want her by my side
The motherly way
She was before
That's the version of her
That I ache for

But sometimes, I fear
That side of her is gone
She may never be
Who I once thought she was

I am plagued with dreams
Of your face
Every night
I close my eyes
Knowing I'll see you again

I want to stay
And know it's true
But in reality you're dead
You're never coming back

I called you my friend
And I, yours
We spent so much time together
Playing guitar
Walking to the park
Going to church
Getting into trouble at school
Joking
Singing
Laughing

But never again
I will never see you again
I just want you back
I want to see you
Not in my dreams
I want reality to be
What it used to be

I'm left here alive
And you died of disease
You were so young
You were only 19

These past few weeks
Have drained at my life
Two friends in twelve days
Tragically died
I finally chose
To go to college
I have no financial help
Because the aid never acknowledged
That my dad is being sued
By my mom who is poor
He cannot help me at all
Because he is planning his wedding
So I'm all alone
To sit here
Suffocating
I'm here all alone
Feeling the raw pain
And it's nauseating
So I struggle and try
To scrape through my life
As the world around me
Decays and dies
I have no hope
And I've never felt so alone
As a child
I was pushed into the world
To grow up too fast
And struggle to stand
My knees are weak and shaking
But here I am

They tell me
"You must be traumatized, honey"
"Are you sure you're okay?"
After what I've seen, most people
Go insane

Yet here I am
Living life normally
And I only feel bad
Because I'm feeling nothing

"You must be traumatized, honey"
Well, should I be?
After the burning bodies I've seen

"Are you sure you're okay?"
Why would I not be?
I'm just going through life
So casually

"You should seek help"
Who could even help?
"You're too young, those memories will ruin your mind and destroy your life"
But I'm doing just fine

I don't understand
I can't comprehend
Why everyone thinks
I should be so upset

It could have been me
It wasn't
And I'm glad

My heart aches
For his death
Not for seeing him die

I have no self pity
I have no problems
I'm letting go of
The things that should cause them

Corey is gone
He's not coming back
I know that he is dead

Somewhere

Deep

      Deep

Down

But I can't accept it yet
But I do accept what happened
And I don't let myself cry
Because my tears need not be shed
Because the pain, it wasn't mine