I stand tall, waiting.
My hands rolled into fist.
Head cocked back.
Ready to fight.
My feet are planted strong.

but  before i can take my last breathe, it's stolen away.

I'm thrown into the wave every which way.
my limbs flail uncontrollably and the water fills every crevice of my being and replaces the air in my lungs.

The fight is purposeless and I quickly give in. At the very moment I stop, so does it.

I am gently washed to shore.

A familiar place that i knew id never see again,
but how much more beautiful was it?
Who was I kidding?
I'd only hope to not return the next time?

In this moment I can stop.
I can listen to the life around me.
I can breathe.
I can open my blinds and let the light flood in,
or keep the illusion of the night just a tad longer so i don't wake you.
I'll let you sleep, I'll let myself enjoy the silence.

Her rays start peeking through every open space in my blinds.
How beautiful it feels when you finally reach my face.
Just like warm kisses.
Your light dances throughout the cover on my bed and onto the hardwood floors my living room.
Ill sit quietly with my coffee and watch the recital from beginning to end.
How ravishing your flood looks this morning.

I'd hold your hand while you hid behind the couch while fire was spit from every mouth around you.
I'd cover your ears and hold your head.
I grab your arms to keep you from making that time and time again mistake.
"You are everything. You will do everything", Is what I will chant to you every night before you sleep.
I'd tell you just how beautiful you are and that this is not your forever.
These four walls do not define you, but they will make you.
They will make you strong and brave.
These very walls that you hate so much.
This battle will be won, I promise you.
This battle will be won by you and you alone.

You know its been days.
Days since these heavy eyes have mended.
This suit of armor is nothing but twisted, tense muscles and weak joints that have made this body whole.

Just tell me it's going to be ok.
Tell me I'm going to make it through this.
Tell me ill survive.

You would think they would prepare you for battles like this but then again, how would they?

I'm tired of the positive speeches and the nonsensical analogies you think are helping.

I feel my bones starting to ******* inside of this tired body.
Just tell me i'll make it out of this alive.
That's all.
I will survive.