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 Oct 2016 Kat
Ellie Geneve
A jungle.
So beautiful,
but dangerous.
Wild,
but serene.
 Oct 2016 Kat
Illya Oz
I pull at my hair
And scratch at my skin
You ask me why
I don't even know where to begin

The curls in my hair are all wrong
The colour orange just doesn’t belong
My skin looks all weird colours and mottled
The feelings inside I keep up and bottled

There is no reason for my depression
I find it hard to show my expression
I escape into the word of fiction
I stay so long it becomes an addiction

Being who I am doesn’t conform
To what others consider the social norm
People who know my sexuality
See me as an abnormality

I get terrified when in a crowd
Everyone just always seems so loud
I cling to people like a leach
My voice is weak without freedom of speech

I wish I could be normal
But that would just abnormal
I wish I could learn to accept
But in that I am so inept
I'm really tying to accept all my flaws and things that I don't like about my self. So many people no matter who they are or where they live are not happy with who they are. We all just need to learn to accept others and our selves despite our flaws.
 Oct 2016 Kat
arubybluebird
Remember that one time years ago on thanksgiving day when I was feeling so sad and had gotten in a shaky argument with my mom so I drove miles and miles into the night crying along to Radiohead, and all it took was sending one brief text message for me to end up at the step of your garage-bedroom door. your family had just finished eating dinner, I met your uncle for the first time, that might’ve been the last time I saw him, too. we spent the rest of the night in the dim of your bedroom, lying down on raschel blankets you’d carefully set out on the floor for us, my body like a crescent moon cradled in the orbit of your arms. darling boy, I’m falling apart again, and it’s in these times when it hits me most, when I realize the significance of your Autumn skin, of the monolithic bones behind them that held me close the way they did, that held me together as on that night. I’m sorry I didn’t know it then just how lucky I was. I’m sorry that I’m writing something like this now knowing all too well that none of this will ever reach you.
you ended a letter once with "I love you for everything that you are."
I loved you. I'll always love you for everything that you are.
I love you
not because
you're good looking

I love you
not because
you're caring

I love you
not because
you dote on me

I love you
not because
your smiles are sweet

I love you
not in lust
of your crevice
or orifice
or skin

I love you
because
without you
I feel

incomplete within.
 Sep 2016 Kat
Liz And Lilacs
Today I was reminded to be kind to myself.
As I sat at my desk,
staring down my chemistry lab,
remembering my barely passed exam,
I was ******* myself,
the cruelest I could be.
Self doubt.
Maybe I can't do this.
What if I lose my scholarship?
Is this even worth it?
But it is okay to not be perfect.
It is human after all, to make mistakes.
So remember to be kind
to yourself most of all,
for you are cruelest
to your own passions and aspirations.
Don't **** your dreams because you fear failure.
These past few days have been very rough.
 Sep 2016 Kat
J
fuck you
 Sep 2016 Kat
J
I tried to turn this anger into art
oh, god did I pray for one stroke of beauty
I was blinded by fog and the nausea consumed me
I fell to my knees looking for a single way to make sense of this hate
I don't remember how to channel my energy, the kind that just drains me
Into something healthy, something beautiful, something colorful
I just know that I'm struggling to stay above water
The tide comes in aggresively, and I am looking for a fight
I start arguments with the mirror to distract myself long enough not to collapse
Because I remember you're not coming back,
You're never coming back


*******.
 Sep 2016 Kat
Liz And Lilacs
I used to write.
Now, I stare.
I stare at the paper
and the blank white screen.
Red ink unused in my pen,
no longer blue ink stains on my hands.
Ever since we met,
I can no longer feel enough to write.
I used to write.
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