I am not a dumb girl. I will never be a dumb girl. In fact, I don't think there's even such thing as a dumb girl, just girls pretending to be dumb. Pretending because they were told that boys don't like girls that are "too smart" or who use big words to explain complex ideas. No, boys like "pretty girls". So that's what girls do, they focus on becoming pretty. They focus more on their hair and makeup than they  do on their potential and aspirations. They foster a diverse nail polish collection rather than a diverse worldview. And I am not one of these girls. I embrace my feminist, but not at the cost of my intellect. I make room for my makeup addiction, but I'll never use that makeup to cover up my brilliance. Yes, I like to be noticed for being pretty, but more than that I like to be noticed for my intelligence. I have a fire in my should that could burn down cities, and a kindness that could rebuild nations. So do you. We all do. We all have a greatness inside of us waiting to be released. To stifle that greatness is an immense injustice. To dumb yourself down, or expect someone to dumb themself down to protect your ego, is an enormous disservice to the world. So girls, don't simplify yourselves to being merely pretty, be great. And boys, don't expect us to be pretty, expect us to push you to be greater than you already are. Never accept the role of a "dumb girl", and never perpetuate it.

Being in love is the most complicated, yet simplest thing you'll ever experience. Being in love is knowing everything about a person, but still being surprised by them everyday. Love is feeling so secure with a person that it scares you, because how could you ever be that way with anyone else? Being in love is like living on the borderline between utter chaos and complete harmony. It's so confusing that it makes complete sense. Being in love is so perfect that you almost want it to stop before you break it. Almost. Being in love is being perfectly content with whatever life throws at you because you know that no matter what, you're always going to have that one person beside you to ensure that everything's okay. Being in love is scary and complicated and hard, but it's so worth it. Being in love is the greatest feeling that you could ever imagine, and probably plus some.

I am a passionate person.
I don't do lukewarm or mild,
I don't feel things half way.
I am either 100% or nothing, there is no in between.

Don't get me wrong,
I am logical and level headed...
You know, when I decide to think.
I am capable of rationality.

Just not when it comes to my feelings.

I am a passionate person.
I am not a cool breeze on a Sunday morning.
I am not a flurry of snow on your eyelashes.

I am a storm that's constantly brewing out at sea.
I am a tornado that tears things to pieces.
I am a wildfire that consumes all in its path.

I can be destructive,
but I can also be beautiful.

I am the rainstorm after a drought.
I am the flood that washes away your pain.
I am the bonfire that warms your soul on cold winter nights.

There is fire in my heart and desire in my eyes.
I want to put everything I am into everything I do.

The most painful thing you could do to me
is slowly extinguish my flames...
Is to capture the intensity with which
I adore to live.

I can't do lukewarm.
I can't be with someone who tries to contain all that I am.
I can't watch someone get used to me and take me for granted.

I am a passionate person.
I can't live life any other way...
Not without giving up what makes me exactly who I am.

You should have loved her when she was yours.
You should have held her when she was there.
You should have helped her when she needed you.
You should have kissed her when she laid next to you.
You should have listened to her when she tried to talk to you.
You should have loved her when she loved you.
Maybe then she still would.

I was in love.
I was in love with the way he kissed my head while he thought I slept.
I  was in love with the way he stared at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention.
I was in love with the way he sang to me, even though he was awful.
I was in love with the way he kissed my mouth when he made me upset.
I was in love with the way he wiped away my tears.
Mostly, I was in love with the way he made me fall in love everyday.

Until he didn't anymore.

What hurt was the way he called me names, even if he was kidding.
What hurt was the way he stopped caring about my passions.
What hurt was the way he didn't want to be around unless it was convenient.
What hurt was the way he stopped wiping my tears.
What hurt was the way he seemed to stop being in love with me.
What hurt was the way he didn't care until I was no longer his.

Maybe that's why they call it falling in love; because when things fall, they break.
Maybe I loved him, and that's why he always made me feel like I was broken.

Our love faded away like the summer fades to fall.
The warmth that was once there isn't there at all.
Just as the leaves fall from the trees,
My feelings for you are no longer seen.

Like the landscape in late fall, our beauty has turned grey.
There was nothing that anyone could do and nothing to say.
I tried everything I could to stop my freezing heart,
But my love for you still froze and quickly fell apart.

I imagine that you are Fall and I am Winter
Because your love is the growing tree and mine is a splinter.
I imagine that Winter is sorry for Fall,
because she takes everything from him, after all.

I am the cold dark winter, I am sorry to say.
There is nothing Fall can do to make that go away.
Winter may be cold, and it may be lonely,
But that isn't as bad as her feeling so sorry.

It is not on purpose that Winter harms Fall.
There was no intention that she can recall.
Because Winter loves Fall, despite what he thinks.
But her need for him to stay was gone in a blink.

When I was younger,
I thought that my love life as a teenager would be fleeting.

I imagined it to be like the wind;
Something that could be felt,
but not seen.
And something that never stayed for too long.

I thought that I would date
Boys with tattoos and piercings
Boys in bands
Boys with skateboards
Boys who smoked
Boys who drank
Boys who partied

Boys who would probably treat me like ****
but it wouldn't matter because they would make me feel alive.

I never thought that my teenage love would be something like this;
Something real
Something permanent
Something deep
Something personal
Something attached
Something loving
Something scary

I never wanted to put myself in a situation in which I could get hurt.
But I did anyway.

When I met him
I decided that it was worth it
I decided that he was all I wanted
I decided that it would be useless to waste time with someone else
I decided that he was my person
I decided that I could trust him
I decided that I should go against all I wanted in a teenage relationship
Because being with him was worth any pain that it caused me.

I decided that he was mine and I was his.
Forever.

And I realized that I didn't want anything else.

Ironic isn't it?
A poem about poetry?
A small thing talking about
The larger thing that is makes up.

But that's what poetry is.

Poetry is made up of words
That people are afraid to say,
Yet yearn to write because
Everyone needs to let the words escape.

Poetry is a collection of poems,
Which are a collection of words,
Which are a collection of thoughts,
Which are a collection of ideas.

Poetry is a collection of everything that makes a person who he is.

So, yes, this is a poem about poetry
Because poems are about expression
And desire,
And the desire to express.

That's what I have,
A desire for expression.
So, I'm expressing my desire
By writing a poem about poetry.

Poetry is the small thing that makes up the big thing.
That big thing is me,
And people around me.

And we make up the world.

People proofread because they want to find their errors.
People find errors so that they can correct them.
People correct them because they want perfection.
People want perfection so that society will love them.

But there is beauty in errors.
There is beauty in the flaws, not only on paper,
But in the flaws of your person.
There is beauty in the rawness that comes with lack of Proofreading.

Perfection is overrated.
Perfection is unreachable.
Perfection is what stands between you and your dreams.
Perfection is masked fear.

Maybe it's just me,
But I would rather see someone's raw imperfections,
The things that scare them,
The things that they's rather hide,

Than the picture perfect image that they create,
With Proofreading.

I was never supposed to be this girl.

I was supposed to be Dark.
I was supposed to be to Depressed.
I was supposed to be Angry.
I was supposed to be Rebellious.
I was supposed to be Alone

I was supposed to be the type to cry myself to sleep.
I was supposed to be the type to cut myself at night.
I was supposed to be the type to be misunderstood.
I was supposed to be the type to be judged.
I was supposed to be the type to hate and be hated.

But
I am not exactly who I was supposed to be.

I am still Angry.
I am still rebellious.
I am still misunderstood.

But

I am not alone.
I am loved those around me.

I do not hate,
And I am not hated.
Because I worked to tear down the walls I built.

I am not who I was supposed to be,
And that's okay with me.

Because who I am turned out to be better.
I turned out to be more than I thought I could be.

I realized something.

I realized that parts of me that were "supposed to be"
never were.
I realized that parts of who I am were always "supposed to be.

I realized that parts of me will always be the same.

I will always want to rebel.
I will always feel a little dark
Or depressed.
I will always be angry at the unfairness of the world.
"Who I Am" and "Who I Was Supposed To Be"
Will always be intermixed.

But

It is in that mixture that the True Me has formed.
I will never be somethings,
And always be others.

But

It is in those things that I will find
Who I Am To Become

And I guess I'll figure that out as I go.