Kaiden

Kaiden 6d

Suicide

A quick, (not) painless way
To abandon all of your struggles.
An attempt to feel special, they say,
While in reality it's so much more.

They say only a coward would do it,
But i tried to take the life
Of the child i once were,
And the adult i could become.

So im alive i guess.... I can't really write that well yet but at least I have a boyfriend now so maybe i won't **** myself, i dunno

#suicide

Jul 2

Lostling

What is the meaning of life?

From young, we play--
Tiny hands, big dreams

Then they hand us books,
And say, study hard.
Why?
So we can work in the future.

Why work? To enjoy.
Then work more
To enjoy a little more.

A loop,
Endless and spinning

So I say good riddance!
I denounce this life and laugh in its face.
It has no meaning.
Not unless you give it one.

The world can give you a hundred reasons.
But none of them are yours
Write your own answer.

Life is a tool. What will you do with it?

#life #philosophy #questions #answer #purpose #meaning #answets

Jun 29

Liana

Me

I am so much
I am too much
Too much everything
Clingy
Intense
Quiet
Loud
And I’m simultaneously somehow
Still not enough

Even though I just had a good time with a friend, I still feel like ****. I don’t understand why I’m like this. I hate myself.

Kaiden Jun 28

Dead by tomorrow

I lay in bed,
Knowing i'll be dead by tomorrow.
The air is cold as always,
Gently brushing against my blood-stained skin.

The regret slowly starts slipping into my mind,
Yet i lay there,
Unable to move.
I stare at my body,
Knowing i was the cause of my own death
(Or was i?)

I let someone in,
Now i leave this world by myself,
Over a few stupid decisions,
Interactions that should have never happened.
I'm sorry.

this doesnt make any sense but i hope the message is clear enough

#suicide

Jun 26

Limes Carma

I Guess I Never Got To Cry About You

I didn’t want to fall apart mid-sentence,
So I said less and asked more questions.
Tuned out love songs, skipped our street —
I made avoiding you look complete.

I smile and nod when your name is mentioned,
As if it doesn't pull me out of the conversation
They throw it around casually, like it's not cutting right through —
I guess I never got to cry out about you.

#heartbreak #grief #lettinggo #closure #emotionaldistance #unsaid

Kaiden Jun 25

No.

A word you didn't seem to understand,
You acted on your thoughts
You believed everyone shared.

You tried to justify it by feelings,
Pretending there was a need for

The things you've done,
The innocence you've stolen
From your own child.

You imagined the desire
A toddler could never feel,
And proudly shared it with your friends.
Bragging about how mature
Your "little girl" was.

How good it felt for you,
To wipe the tears with the very same hand
That hurt me.

How you loved the sound
Of useless pleas,
A body you created to use.

sorry if this is triggering but im honestly so ******* done with my father, he moved to the same city as me recently and i'd rather die than be alone with him again cuz i know **** well what would happen

#**** #sa #no #father #abuse #trauma

Kaiden Jun 25

Control

A feeling
That over time turned into a word,
Being too far to reach.
Trying to reclaim it,
You get hurt,
Or hurt others,
For the tiniest feeling of power
That feels so wrong,
Yet so right.

Trying to regain control controls you.

at this point i dont really have control over much stuff but oh well

#control