You're too much in your own head
To love another human being
Except conceptually..

It's the things we want that destroy us
Creeping slowly out of the light
Dragging us with them
We morph and twist
Into shapes unlike us
Try to understand
What baits me so
Hold onto a slippery self
And frown upon
This consolation superiority..
Let the bad remind me to be good
Let these sinful hands fall upon
The loneliness deserved.
I am forgiven
But I punish myself..
My father always said
"Beware the beginnings,
They are the root of all evil."

surrounded by an energy
I can't quite understand
"No trespassers allowed"
don't think you know that..
Whatever it took..
Keep reading
this blank-paged book
I can't for the life of me
Figure out why
Them not you..
No cosmic sense
No cannons for those walls..
Perhaps I was all wrong
But you never were..

I love to look at you,
Trying to read those eyes
For signs of truth you bear alone

I think

You got lost trying to find meaning
I got lost trying to find "life"
You liked being lost..
And I, well....
I was lost.

when will it be over
this arbitrary struggle
and longing to belong
still to distinguish
oneself from the rubble
of a crumbling world?

putting out a half-smoked cigarette
think to cut the cord
curling up in blue sheets
think to make it stop

a love was torn from me
merciless nonchalance

i am that rock
falling still identical
the rubble of a crumbling world

try to tear myself away
from this rudimenta...

backspace, keep thinking...
not good enough.

he..
no you cant say that
you're a strong woman..

when do i get to be weak
and unreasonable?
when do i get to be the broken one?

the bells toll my turn for insanity

The words don't flow the same
The colours seem too tame
Lashing out like a whip,
Tongue doesn't know when to stop..
Last piece didn't fall into place..
Now I think I've been building
A castle in abstract air..
This cartoon ground crumbles
beneath my leather shorn feet
I fall upon this weathered earth
Disillusioned yet unblinded
Stuffing my ears with things
I've ripped apart
To keep from hearing the tick tock
Of this broken clock
Cranking the volume of this poem up
To Drown out the phrase "I'm lost"
But the words don't flow the same
This tongue hasn't learned
This new rhythm
And I sit in the dark sometimes
Counting the seconds
Until my heart learns it too..

Beware of leaders
Who promise it all, for you
Will end up with *none

One sweet apple is not enough for longtime sourness