You're the loudest memory.
I was wrong 
Thinking I could easily forget the love 
I feel for you 
I was wrong. 
You've always had a way with making me see truth.
The love of my life
The love I never got to feel
You are it and I am done trying.

" it's the eyes chico, they never lie " how I wish you could see mine. Tear stained, tired and then again not because I cannot lie and say that just seeing yours light up doesn't make my heart smile. I told her that, I love you, I also told her a whole lot more. One thing that stuck was " I know what being without her feels like and God loving her  from a far, from a careful distance, is better than anything else, is better than having to go on as if, you arent  "

do you remember how much i loved you?
i do.

i remember it like the soft breeze blowing in my hair
nice, yet chilly.

what i remember the most is the words that i uttered
that last fight
when you got tired of trying (or maybe pretending)
to accept me
and i got so fed up with you never accepting me
after all those years.

i remember how i walked out so confidently
without looking back
when all i wanted was to turn back
run to you
hold you
and tell you
'please don't give up.'

but i didn't.

i remember how much i wanted you
to come back and tell me you're sorry,
tell me we could make this work.

but you never did.

and i was too proud to say the truth.

because truth is,
i still care.
i think i'll always care.

though if anyone asks me,
i'll never admit it.