I don't like to read your words-

A wry smile, bittersweet.

They're too real, too mundane for a dreamer.

This, whispered to me.
What is that supposed to mean?
I was not born with wings
I am from this earth
What is that supposed to mean?

Would you rather me forget
about the blood stained teeth of an old god
the ruined smile of Grace

What is that supposed to mean?

I am not even a writer,
I am only living
and I have never once seen life
walking around without dirt in her nail beds.

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

I tried to do right

With all I had left

I'm the devil's daughter
She tells me don't water the flowers
she told me I burned away my father

I'm still calling out to the sky
I'm still wasting away inside

He says I'm a shadow
I follow everyone around
I'm stepped on

I ask him
What's this darkness
must demons watch over me

I dream of an angel
with beautiful wings
they're not for me

Approach cautiously
Never ask too much
Xamine closely
Imagine holding me
Enjoy unconditionally
Try to understand
You’re doing so well