it has been twenty years
since i once met him in person

once

we met in las vegas
and stayed at a cheap motel
in different rooms

and that is what i have been remembering
the most lately
is the cheap motel
as if there were marbles on the carpeting
of the motel floor
and i slipped on one

the marble game, just something to do
winner wins and keeps on winning
once i am tripped
even before i have fallen to the floor
for it is certain i will fall to the floor

tiny marbles to lose
tiny marbles rolling by
he aimed his tiny marbles at me
he shot his tiny marbles at me

i laid on the floor
for many years after
an easy place to be
got up, fell down, up once more
finally fell down and just stayed down

on the floor not seeing how
life could ever get decent again
a whole lifetime ahead of me
with no *** appeal
and nothing to fall back on

just a tiny marble
for my back to fall on

marijuana, fourth of july,
and even then
that anthony bourdain look in your eye

never did know
how much i could relate

and that’s what i do these days,
i relate and relate

soon it will be time to remember
you'll be gone four years already,
and i've lived the kind of life
that knows better than to face you
around or gone four years already

went and gone
into your time
after its time

that was love
the discontinued
instant messenger
never coming back

felt just like squanto
heart still sinking
returning to
nothing left to return to

fifteen thousand days
for things to go wrong

it was just one of those fifteen thousand days
where things didn't go so well
that was today,

in my time
there is no more time
only stoner time
and five dollar andre wine
marked down to 4.99

tired of the everyday loser
in the last of light
hating sunday nights
for all they're worth
for all their worth
change the tense to the time,

in my time,  there is no more time
only stoner time
i couldn't make the distinction
in time

kevin told me he was going to quit his job today
i sit beside him at a temp job
in a cramped cubicle

the whole thing is terrible
i fail at my little temp job
all day long

he lost his phone three days ago,
the new kid from new york
told him he should just call his carrier
and buy insurance, then wait a few days
and report the phone as lost or stolen
to get a replacement

kevin was not willing to do that
i never bothered to follow up
and ask if he had found his phone

i'm not sure what he will do with all
his time on no income
he is an extravert who likes to go out

a few months ago
i gave kevin a forceful
and impassioned lecture
about how no one should be
treated like **** at their jobs
and thats why i had quit mine

then kevin said he wished he had a ******* fund
i told kevin to save his money
kevin told me that was in debt because
there was this girl in this band
and he spent a lot of money on uber and lyft
and going out drinking

i wasn't sure if there were additonal purchases in that story
about the girl and the debt

i hope i didn't inspire him to quit his job
with no back up plans
he said he was tired of waiting around for things to get better

he really loves the music of the nineties
he said it was the   best time to grow up
he is into third eye blind, the gin blossoms,
breeders and some other singers of songs
that were just songs i listened to on the radio
waiting for another song to come on

who will i talk to now
sometimes, when i'm not persauding people
to quit their jobs, i watch shows about prison,
people who end up in prison for ******, accomplice,
arson, ****, embezzlement, other
just so i can feel a little relieved
i'm not like them
at least it's not prison,

all the going too far in the world
never keeping from going too far

good morning dystopia
i could really use a rick grimes
to drink my instant coffee with
but all you bring me are the
orange and white umbrellas
infesting the sidewalks of south lake union
every misty morning

home was never home
and is still not home
though there is no place left to go

i've been half meaning to write a book
about a  species that is saved from extinction
but then spreads a deadly virus that wipes
most of us out