****** darling
You pretty much own this helpless heart
Knock on wood
Because every time I plan to despairingly sit
I end up fallaciously understood
Desire one and get two
Because my personal algebraic anomaly
Leads me
Then leaves me
All but a clue of what to do
Which lane to travel in
Nor which direction to go
But why not follow nature’s advices
The basic instincts, intuitions
Institutions and devices
Of this heart
But, this is just I
Feeling completely unplugged
I’m simply praying my anatomy will prevent the falling part
Of falling in love

You know that feeling
That feeling oh, so painfully sweet
When you go reeling
In every direction
And some unknown to man
I'm in that feeling
That feeling that has been and will be shared by every human

But I fear to speak of this feeling
I fear it
Not because I believe I have an inability to describe it
Not because uttering its characteristics would make it too real
Not because it would force me to face myself
Not because it would force me to feel
Not because I am holding on to the feeling
And speaking of it would make my sweet vice disappear
Not because when I speak of this feeling
I'm in a virtual world
In which you hold me near
And we stay
There
That way

My fear of this feeling
The one that sends me reeling
The one that every human has, is, and will be feeling
Comes to me
Because of the very fact
That all know it
And if I show it
Would my little drop of red rain
Come to change the color of an ocean?
So it ripples though
With enough strength to
See what this heart has done
To break this one little girl?
Not specifically special in any sort of way
And have my display
Be noticed?
And have this one little girl
Be saved?

exclamation marks mean something of excitement
joy to the world
guess what
im so happy
i'm dying of ennui
what the hell is an exclamation mark


commas are when you need a break
just a pause
before you go on
and i've never gotten that before
where's the comma for me to
take a minute to
stop killing myself
over the fact i'm so
busy

periods are the only real one


they mean

it's all over





i am all over too.

I fell
for you

Because  of the way you looked,
and the way you talked to me

But I wish I fell for your actions,
instead of your words

Am I still alive, or is this all just memories?
Am I on my death bed,looking back at at my misadventures and fallacies?
Am I slipping in to the abyss, are these my last thoughts?
Is this my pinnacle, did I ever learn what I have been taught?
Did I live the life I hoped for and envisioned,
Or have I lived a life full of regrets because of my decisions?
Did I find love or did I wallow in hate?
Did I practice what I preach and fight against what people call "fate",
Or did I submit to my anxiety and fears?
I can't help but wonder is this ink so wet because of all my future tears?...
I'll wait and see and what is Ment to be will be, if it suits me.
But I'll have to wait and see