I remember back then
We were so young.
I wrote love poems for you.
They were beautiful just like you.
And I wrote them only for you.

I waited at the old railway station.
For your train to arrive from the city.
The noisy trains and ***** station
Went unnoticed when you
Stepped to the platform Your
Bright yellow dress like a sun.

God! I loved you so much.
And it is cruel that I still do.
You threw yourself
into my arms then
and into my heart forever.

You want your freedom now
I do not beg of you to stay.
Blowing flames from the ashes
Of what was once us.

Leave me then
take all we have.
I do not want it anymore.
Make a final journey
to the old railway station.
Board the next train
to the city lights.

I shall remain here forever
alone in my chair.
Writing beautiful love poems.
Still all for you.
Poems that I know
you will never understand.

The first snow of winter fell today
As I walked through the wooded pathway
into the clearing where purity lay.
up above the grayness of the clouds.
Matching the season and my heart.
The dusting s of snowflakes
touch my eyelids and melt
but it could be my tears.

I remember you
I was just a young boy.
when mom died grandpa.
Your unshaven face and
brown hard working hands.

you fixed most everything with your hands.
You fixed me with your love Grandpa.
you gave me mom's old room
you told me it was her safe place
and she would visit me there.
When she was settled in heaven.

I told you I did not believe
in heaven Grandpa.
You said it's alright I will one day.
Heaven was a different place
for everyone you said.

When I got hurt
you always picked me up
in your huge arms grandpa.
it was always so safe.

I never told you grandpa
I lied when I said
I don't believe in heaven.
You and grandma
were my heaven Grandpa.

I know you have gone now
to your heaven.
Sat in a kitchen eating food
from the old country.
Grandma is at the stove
Mom on your knee listening
to stories of Europe before the war.

My heaven was with you guys grandpa.
I think I will change my heaven
to yours after all Grandpa.
That's all I want
just our heaven.
I only wish there was a post office
in our heaven
and I could send
this letter to you all.

You Loving Grandson
Jude

The flight back from Vietnam
was crowded and long.
The offensive has failed
the war was now over for some.

It took four days to get to the small hospital
in the old white clapboard
New England town.

The endless war far behind him.
He was at last a minute away
from seeing his beloved Catherine.
He met the Nurse in the hallway.
How is she he asked?
Her seasoned eyes looked at the floor
she shook her head sadly.

And the baby he whispered?
Again her head shook.
  The words just too hard to speak.

Catherine was pale and weak.
Upon seeing him she managed
a smile upon his arrival.
Her beautiful smile
That had stolen his heart
So long ago now..

Oh darling, I am going to die.
Don’t let me die.
Hold me in your arms!
Hold me tight.
Don’t let me go.
When you hold me
we cannot be parted
If you stay with me
I shall not be afraid.

As she left him
The bells tolled from the
old white clapboard tower
  of the church.
To celebrate the end of the war
for some.

He carried her lifeless body
to the window.
It was a beautiful spring day.
Overlooking the square
the townsfolk had gathered
to give thanks to thier Gods.
And we’re singing Amazing grace.

Someone released a flock of white doves
they soared in a cloud
high up to the azure sky
They glided past the window
as if to carry her soul to heaven.

He kissed her still lips
For one last time.
And whispered to her.
Peace at last my love.

+She was sick that I knew
Being caught between boyhood and manhood did not make me blind.
They cut my hair off tonight honey
It's ok mom you are still the most beautiful woman in the world.
You are such a charmer honey
The girls are going to love you.
I only want you to love me mom
Only you.
Everyone noticed I could not sleep anymore
Want to talk about anything the school nurse said.
No maam I said.
Then the nightmares
The tree huge and everlasting tree outside my bedroom window.
It walked when I fell asleep
It's fingers like twigs pulled me from my bed
It lifted me to its roaring mouth.
Fires glowed within
I am not afraid I said
But I just don't know how  much I was afraid.
You are going to share your deepest
Fears it roared.
But still I kept silent not showing him anything.
No fwar.

.Mom I need to sleep with you
I take her her meds
Just for five minutes honey
I feel so sick sweetie
Your Ok mom
You will get better
Your hair will.
Grow again.
Call your dad yes in LA
I know with the sister I never met
And the lady I dont want to know
Shssssss it's OK
I'll
Then he came again made of roots and leaves and twigs
He picked me up like a Bird in the next

Tell me your truth he roared
I have none I wailed.
But I did.....I did

Grandma called she was as cold as ice
Some things never change.
You need to come to my place she said
Got there it was full of China figurines
I am going to the hospital don't touch anything
But the tree monster came again
I was so angry smashed all of grandma's stuff.
She Arrives back  home the place is wrecked
She does not give me the licking I deserved.
Instead I heard her weeping in her bed.

The monster came again that might
It's time for your pain tell me it said.
I don't have pain I lied
Tell me or you will be crushed by my limbs it threatened.
I ....I.....I want to tell her to let go
But that's my fear
It would be my fault you see.
What do I do?
You tell the truth the monster said
Only the truth.
I got back to grandma's place.
I looked at her
She kind of looked like mom.....But older
I just got a call from the hospice she said
We have to hurry
We got to go there?
At the railroad tracks we were stopped. By a freight train
Grandma said
We are very different people you and me.
I said I know grandma
But we are going to have to get along
I said I know grandma.
She said of course you do.

We got to the hospital
The nurse was soleom
Go right in it OK.
She was dying I knew it.
Mom held my hand
I felt the monster behind me
It whispered in my ear
I am here with you.
What do I do
I said
Tell the truth of the ages since time began.
The one that comes from the inside of your heart.

I sqoze her hand tight
I said
It's OK mom
It's OK to go.
I will be ok .
I promise.
I remember the last movement of my mother hand
.It faded softly
Unlike my memories of her love.

But when we got back to grandma's place.
I cried and grandma held me to her breast.
I said I am so sorry grandma
For breaking your stuff
She pulled me closer
I know honey
It doesn't matter.
Yo are all that matters now.
I love you honey.
I said softly I love you too grandma.

I remember back then
We were so young.
I wrote love poems for you.
They were beautiful just like you.
And I wrote them only for you.

I waited at the old railway station.
For your train to arrive from the city.
The noisy trains and ***** station
Went unnoticed when you
Stepped to the platform Your
Bright yellow dress like a sun.

God! I loved you so much.
And it is cruel that I still do.
You threw yourself
into my arms then
and into my heart forever.

You want your freedom now
I do not beg of you to stay.
Blowing flames from the ashes
Of what was once us.

Leave me then
take all we have.
I do not want it anymore.
Make a final journey
to the old railway station.
Board the next train
to the city lights.

I shall remain here forever alone.
Writing beautiful love poems.
Still all for you.
poems that I know
you will never understand.

I want to whisper
I love you.
but settle for goodnight.
For I love you
means I'm falling.
and I am terrified
of heights

1975 30Th April
the end of the Vietnam War

The flight back from Vietnam was crowded and long.
The offensive has failed the war was over for some.
It took four days to get to the small hospital
In the old New England town.
The endless war far behind him.
He was at last a minute away
from his beloved Catherine.
He met the Nurse in the hallway.
How is she he asked?
Her seasoned eyes looked at the floor
she shook her head.
And the baby he whispered?
Again her head shook.
The words just too sad to speak.
Catherine was pale and weak.
Upon seeing him she managed
a smile upon his arrival.
Her beautiful smile
That had stolen his heart
So long ago now..

Oh darling, I am going to die.
Don’t let me die.
Hold me in your arms!
Hold me tight.
Don’t let me go.
When you hold me
we cannot be parted
If you stay with me
I shall not be afraid.
As she left him
The bells tolled from the
old white clapboard tower
of the church.
To celebrate the end of the war
for some.
He carried her lifeless body
to the window.
It was a beautiful spring day.
Overlooking the square
The townsfolk had gathered
And we’re singing Amazing grace.
Someone released two white doves
The glided past the window
As if to take her soul to heaven.
He kissed her still lips
For one last time.
And whispered to her.
Peace at last my love.

1970
He sat next to me in Junior school
when I was just a little girl.
Always so sweet to me
I really liked him…
well ….
no much more than that.

1974
At middle school
he carried my books
home from school.
we became best friend's.

1979
At high school
I gave him my pin
he gave me
his friendship ring.
he was my date
for the prom.

1983
we both went away
to college together.
I was lonely and slipped
into his bed he held me safe.
we broke the chains of friendship.
And he became my lover.
my one and only lover.

1988
We married young.
Our  parents were
not surprised.
They were expecting it.

1994
we have three kids now
two girls and a boy.
Our son looks just like him.
when we first met
so long ago.

September 10 2001
He came home from work
just like any other day.
Put burgers on the barbeque.
We got the kids to bed
had a glass of wine.
And went to bed at Ten.
He wanted me
but I was exhausted
the kids had been terrors all day.

September 11 2001

he left early for work
with a cheek kiss
and a see you later Honey.
The kids went to school
I poured a coffee
the phone rang it was my
best friend.
Have you seen the news
she said.?
I put on the TV.
the towers fell to ashes
as did my life at that moment.
No tears came
All I could think was
I wish
I had made love to him last night.

September 11 2015
The kids are all grown now.
he would be so proud of them.
Our son looks just like him.
We all stand
at ground zero
and say a prayer.
I whisper
it was you honey
always you.
He answered me.
At that moment
a huge arc of a rainbow
circled the sky over NewYork.
And I know for sure.
It was for me.

She said she missed her prom.
So many years ago.
She had to work that night.

So I took her
to the local high school. Prom.
We danced all night
her in the prom dress.
I bought for her.
Me in my rented tux.
A gardenia corsage
on her wrist.

we are older
and past such things.
But they let us in.
The old school teacher
At the door
Perhaps a closet romantic.

But she took me home
to a beautiful place
In her heart.
That was made
for only me.
Where
I remained forevermore.

I met the poem again last night
the most beautiful poem.
His words silken and soft.
The tears of my need
fell down my face.
He spoke of family
belonging
even children
of love and respect.
they were untruths
but oh so sweet.
so much what I wanted.
He took me to his place
where he recited more poems
I fell naked into his verse.
He held me
in comforting words.
And in return
I became another of his poems.
All through the night
in his gentle arms
my verses rhymed.
I wept at his poems.
then in the morning light
he changed
no longer a beautiful poem
he drank coffee
and ate toast
and left me outside
as he went to his work.

The circular Stairway

When you left me after forever.
The stars became your friends.
The night became mine.
People told me give it time
They said
take tiny steps
one day after another
Its just like learning to walk again
after a broken leg.
But I have taken all the steps
Day after day and night after night
Sometimes I lose my footing
And fall down the long stairway
that I have climbed so high
I can touch the stars that know you.
I can speak to the moon.
But after the terrible journey
A sadness falls over me
And grief mocks my fight.
Acceptance calls me
Like the whispering breeze
In the swaying willows
I now look down
on a desolate world.
I now know what is wrong.
Your friend the stars told me.
Once more I stand on the first step.
and I understand you have gone.

moving day
By Jude kyrie


*In between the delphiniums and the hollyhocks
Sat the old wheelbarrow dented rusted and aged
The thoughts of my childhood return
I am no longer thirty five years old.
Daddy would sit me in the wheel barrow
and give me a ride
All about the garden as I squealed in delight.

I have a need to see his kind eyes once more
Hear his soft gentle voice so mellow.
I want feel like a little girl once more
safe and secure with my daddy.
The need to find him is overwhelming.
I look all over the gardens for him.
Then I see him stood by the apple tree.
His old knitted sweater and his corduroy pants
In his mouth his sweet aromatic pipe
that was an extension of him

He said Hello Kitten
my eyes misted
No one but my Daddy
ever called me that
I said Hello Daddy
he took his pipe from his mouth
His smile lit up the place.
I was six once more but it faded.
He melted into my memory.

My childhood was passed
replaced by my womanhood
All that was left was the
indelible memories of times past
Tears fell from my eyes
as I wept to go back.

Then a noise as I looked around
at the arrival of the new owners.
A young handsome man with his little son
Daddy there’s a wheelbarrow can I have a ride

London England*


I am old now
old and tired the music Hall is fading
old clowns in baggy pants don't seem funny anymore.
The flickering silver light of the cinema
was growing brighter almost everyday.
My days are over playing for Victoria  Empress of Britain .
My whole life vanished like it never happened so meaningless.

I am alone never married, the stage is a wife I suppose.
No wife to turn to  I turn to the bottle
she puts me to sleep numbs my soul.
Old Jack the doorman at the Gaiety in London.
He lets me in for free every night to watch the Music Hall artist.
There not like you were sir --he still calls me sir.

A  juggler, a singer,a magician,a comedian, and showgirls.
And  oh yes A ballet dancer.she is so young and beautiful
I think I come here just to see her.
If I had not found the bouquet of flowers
in the entrance, she would be dead now.
I watched her dance so talented like an Angel in flight
on gossamer wings.I am far too old for her of course
but I cannot help but be drawn to her outstanding talent.
And her beauty if truth be known.

I take the flowers to her dressing room and knock on the door.
There is a moan from inside a low painful moan.
I take a deep breath and open the door
she is laying on the floor an empty vial of something  
I had seen this before the stage carries many dark secrets.
I found a box of salt and poured it into a glass of water
then poured it down her throat
At first, I thought I was too late.
then the salts caused her to throw up the poison.

She lay on the sofa and slept I never left her side.
After a few hours, she said I cannot move my legs
I carried her to my old room and placed her in bed.
I no longer can dance she cried my legs are paralyzed she cried.

I made her tea and a sandwich.
We are a great pair you andI.
A dancer who cant dance
and a comedian whocant make people laugh.

There was no money for a doctor
but I had her trying to walk every day.
After, a few months she walked again
Slowly at first then stronger day by day.
I brought out her dance outfit ballet shoes.

Old Jack let us in to use the Gaiety stage as her dance floor.
I felt so ashamed that I was so in love with her.
But I think in the chest of every comedian
lies a fragile tender heart that is so easily bruised.

A few weeks later she was dancing again
and then moved away to follow her career.
I was desolate
I returned to the bottle.
Then a catalysmic event brought us together
Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated at Sarajevo.
On the 4th of August 1914,
Great Britain declared war on Germany.

A group of performers were chosen
to form an entertainment group for the troops.
She was amongst them
and refused to participate if they did not select me.
Under duress, they agreed and the first performance was in London.

I went on and gave the performance of my life.
The soldiers roared in laughter
my heart filled to the brim with happiness.
I then watched from the wings as she danced so beautifully
My eyes were wet with both happiness and sadness so bittersweet.
Around and around she would pirouette.
Like a dream-like a beautiful dream.

My mind was  spinning in harmony with her movements.
if only I was twenty-five again.
if only I could have been with her.
if only I did not love her
quiet so much.
....if only .....if only.

The crowd roared for her a complete standing ovation
they were almost the last words I would hear.
As I clutched my breast
and fell onto the floor she rushed to me
and kissed me on the head
stay with me, stay with me
I love you so much she whispered.

But I slipped quietly into the dark unknown
happy and content to go there.
I finally knew
she had loved me as far as it is possible
given the circumstances that is.

They walked on the snow
covered city sidewalk
An old couple slowly gaited
and unsure of their foothold.
He stopped under
the the old streetlamp.
holding her gently.

Looking into her grey eyes
still beautiful
untouched by the ravages of time.
Do you remember? my love.
You smiled at me here so long ago.
so very long ago under this very lamp.

Her face lightened a smile flickered
“yes my darling I remember”.
The years fell as leaves in the fall
and the icy world melted
in their moment of warmth.

He pulled her close to him
Her body no longer old and frail
He felt the woman inside her
the one he had loved forever.

I think of you in my dreams he said
join me my love.
You are wearing a summer dress
holding a single white rose I brought you.

The music in the café plays a waltz.
It swells and halts and ladies
sit in red gilded chairs sipping coffee.

The summer breeze
of love blows into this room
Your smile again enraptures my heart.
Your eyes darken as they find mine,
filling me with yet unfulfilled promises.

We are drowning in the melody about us
the music takes our hearts and
shines them as the sunlight.
Just the single pure white rose
cupped in your hands.

She smiled in memory
Her visions sharing his
even after this lifetime together.

"It is strange how one single day
and a white rose.
can make lifetime lovers
from just friends."
she whispered

Bluebird
By
Charles Buckowski

Bluebird

- Poem by

Charles Bukowski


there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the ****** and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to ***** up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?

Charles Bukowski

Dance me through love warm and tender
With glitter ball lights in your eyes
Dance me through all I’ll remember
in the glow of a million soft sighs
Dance  me through children and laughter
in  a place where true love never dies.
Dance me before and then after
as I drown in the pools of your eyes.
Dance with me every day of our lifetime.
Dance away all heartaches and pain.
When I am old and my eyes lose  their bright shine.
Dance me until they shine once again.

Cherie
An Old Fashioned Break Up

When love's last words are spoken…. Cherie.
When tender hearts are broken…. Cherie.
Now our dream of love  is far away
Now lost in the mist of yesterday.
When love's last kiss has faded …..Cherie
When loving hearts are jaded ….Cherie
Once love blossomed
with the bright moon
Now it  plays  a sad tune for me.
Now my heart is broken …..Cherie
when love's last words are spoken…. Cherie
when love's last words are spoken…. Cherie*

Based upon a beautiful Melody written in 1934
LOVE'S LAST WORD IS SPOKEN [CHERIE]
Cesare A Bixio (m) Bruce Sievier (l) 1934

When we kids I remember her.
She tripped me up in the
playground grazing both my knees.
She broke into my locker at school
and  stole all my Candy stash.
She copied my math homework
getting me an F.
Then she told my first girlfriend
I was secretly Gay.
I married her last year
If that’s all she wanted
Why didn’t she
Just say so.

I feel like I am walking in shower of love
The tapping of rain playing my heartbeat
The light of the moon a beacon
lighting all my senses
Pulling me close to you
she said

We walked along the tree lined streets
together in the park arm in arm
In the shining wetness of the night rain.
Where our love glows in the dark

Its rhythm is playing on the strings of my heart
Making me feel love songs all for you.
I am so in love with you
So in love
she sighed

We walked slowly in the rain
I turned to look at her
so beautiful radiant in the moons light
So much what I needed.

I feel your fingers inside my heart
Tapping your heartbeat on mine.
Allowing me to breath to feel to live.
Keeping my heart safe and loved
she said

And in the park in the night rain
I walked into her heart
through the door
She left open for me
and I found my home
where I would never leave

Meet me in the middle
By
Jude Kyrie

Meet me tonight my love
Please
Meet me in the middle
Between today and yesterday
Where breaths were sweeter
and the sky was bright with hope.
The music was old and melodic
The passions were strong and endless
The end was the last line of a movie

Now  I know  the needs of life
Its hunger for things of passion.
Looking down a tunnel
I seek the light.

So meet me my love
Come meet me
Between today and yesterday.
For today is too cold
And yesterday too warm
So meet me in the middle.

Have you ever
been house hunting.?
looking at place after place
ready to give it all up.
Then opening the door
of the last one
and getting that
warm fuzzy feeling.
I love it
this is me
I could live here forever.
Well that's how I felt
when I walked
into your heart.

September 11 2001

As a little girl in grade two
he sat next to me at school.
I always liked him.
no much more than that.
Later in high school
we walked home together.
He would carry my books.
At graduation he was my date.
We even went to college together.
That was when we broke the chains
of friendship and he became my lover.
My first and only love.

We married young
it was no surprise
to our parents
they were expecting it.
Before I knew it
we had three kids.
Two girls and a boy.
Our son looks just like him.

It was just like any other day
He came home from work
Cooked burgers on the barbeque.
We got the kids to bed
drank a glass of wine
went to bed at ten.

He wanted to make love
but I was exhausted
the kids had been terrors all day.
The next day he kissed me goodbye
With a see you later honey.

I got a call from my friend
She said put on the TV
I saw the towers fall
Turning to ashes
Like my life did that moment.
All I could think was
I wish I had made love
to him last night.

September 11 2015

The children are all grown up now
He would be so proud of them.
I look at my strong handsome son.
He looks like him exactly
We stand at ground zero
and say a prayer.

I whisper it was always you honey
Only you.
As if by magic he answered me
A giant beautiful rainbow
Circled over New York
And I know for sure
it was for me.

Yesterday upon the stairs
I saw my ex
but she wasn’t there.
She wasn’t there again today.
I wish she would go away.

In her Easter bonnet

It was so very long ago.
The world was full of hats
in those far off years.
In the spring
the hat maker came to our home.
She pinned her felts and silk
to my mother’s head.
Added feathers and flowers.
My mother would be beautiful
for the Easter parade.
I still can see her lovely smile.
I tried them on when she was out.
Until my head became too big.
One hat in each box
representing one more Easter.
The hat maker came until the end.
Then when the
chemo took her flowing hair.
We sat outside of her bedroom
all of her children.
The hat lady came that year
for the last time.
She left solemn and quiet
her old eyes cast to the floor.
We all went in her bedroom
to see her last creation.
On her head a beautiful
hat with flowers and fruit
and ostrich feathers.
Her head perfectly covered.
Not even a sign of her lost hair.
And that was the last time
I saw my mother smile

Voices

All night I hear the whispers of sadness
In broken tone.
Weeping like a lonely lovebird
Flying alone.
Like the cold wind over water
In monotone.

The winter winds are blowing
Wherever I go.
The lost voices of the lonely
Far far below.

Even as a boy.
I always thought  I knew
what love  looked like.
She was soft curvy and blonde
with beautiful blue eyes.

I looked for her for years
and she finally showed up.
When she showed up
she was brunette wore glasses
that hid her brown eyes .
she hated my music
hated my friends
and in the end
she hated me.

It was ten years
before  love returned again.
This time she had a
short blonde pixie cut.
Green eyes and a perma smile.
She taught me that when a
woman is smiling it does not
reflect what she is thinking.
She played music all the time
that someone  else bought her.
She did buy me
my favorite ice cream though.
But she would eat it all
in midnight food binges.
as her music played.

I am now waiting for love
to come again.
It's been five years
but I know love
will show up.
I am sure of it.
when love left me I asked it to
leave my door open.
I kissed love softly goodbye.
And there were no tears.

I whispered softly to love.
thanks for coming to visit me.
I love it when you are around.
Don't be a stranger Love.
come back and see me soon.

If you need a tender lover
I will do all you ever want.
If you’re hungry and need food
I will be your restaurant.
If you want to vent your anger
I will take it all and stand.
If you want a lifetime partner
Here my love, take my hand.
I want to be your man.

Tea Leaves

The house seemed so small.
Yet here in my memory as a child
so very long ago it was always huge.
I walk through the rooms .
Familiar as they always were.

I can almost hear your voice
Calling me to the table.
Or to get ready for bed.

The packing had almost finished
Everything in boxes that would
never be opened again.

In your old kitchen I pack the
dinnerware that had had carried
our sustenance until I was an adult.
Piece by piece
I carefully place them in the box.

Then I find your tea cup
The one you used faithfully
each day of your life.
It still had a single tea leaf
Dried and on the rim.
Where your lips had been.

That is when the grief hit me
as it had never done before.

I feel like I am fading away
becoming invisible.
Suffering a slow burn out .
like a galaxy visible
on clear nights.my stars
are fading one by one.
It will take years
before I fade completely.
I will hide my sorrows
under my day face.
using the falling stardust
from my dying stars
to hide the truth of me
behind quiet smiles.

Beneath the
reviving oak tree
it is early spring.
The air is fresh.
Hints of new life
interrupt the silence
of the woodlands.
a milky sun fights
to bring warmth
to the bluebells
it knows are waiting
for its illuminated call.
Above me in
the budded branches.
a woodpecker
acts as a reporter
bringing the glad news
of the new season
to all the creatures
in the forest.
its beak
tap tap tapping
on natures typewriter.

Her soft Italian accent
Still haunts my dreams.
I did not know she was love.
Love had never called before.
Suddenly all I ever needed
dreamed of or wanted.
was here in my waking world.
She was soft and romantic.
In the half light of sleeping
I would watch over her.
A vigil to my gentle lover.
For her *******
Was as natural as breathing.
She held the promise
of her femininity
In everything she did.
She bore my children.
And gave me romance
until the day she died.
I did not understand
love until she taught me
With her sweetness
and tenderness.
Even in her resting place
The flowers turn towards her
feeling her warmth
even in death.
I do not need for love
to call on me again.
For love has been
and still lives in my heart.
I speak to her softly.
Each night in her native Italian
Addio, amore mio
Farewell my love.

I just read some poetry
in a big collection of real poets.
I was living in a fools paradise.
I thought I was getting better.
After three long years slogging
out one piece of crap after the other.
I have decided
if you read a poem
you feed your soul for one day.
if you write a poem
you sentence your soul
to a lifetime
of self doubt and frustration.

Claire de lune

*All afternoon the rain falls.
I sit at the piano and play.
As softly as the falling raindrops
It is Claire de lune.
It plays in my  head all day
It was your favorite piece.
Through my window
the world is dressed in olive green.
It was on such days
we walked together in the rain.
The mist falling over the trees
The moments of gentle tranquility
Shared quietly
the only communication.
The senses through our fingertips.
as we held hands.
You always held my hand on walks.
More as sign that I belonged to you.
As I always have even now so long
after you have gone.
Somehow in ways I do not know.
My fingers play the beautiful
melody that you loved
And I know in a world
far away from mine.
Where lives no pain or darkness.
You are placing your fingertips
on a distant window pane.
And my music will be
Playing in your heart.

The ghost are everywhere.
I see them under trees.
In gardens and ice cream parlors.
Going home after all the passing years
It is a haunted place
yet it will always be home.
The small English town
Lichen covered stone everywhere.
Even the cobbled streets remain.
Shining wet in the ever present rain.
Between the faded
old fashioned shops
on either side of the street.
A church clock strikes three.
As children jump from
the village school steps.
Like a soul returning to heaven.
I see a boy with his scruffy dog.
They are happier than billionaires.
The dog reminds me of my boyhood pet.
A scruffy mongrel running happily
with an even scruffier boy.
It is only another ghost.
But I think it is me.

Tranquility

The edge of the lake a jewel in the blue light of the late day
My feet washed by the purity of its waters
The two loons mated for life by nature’s fidelity
Cease their relentless search for food to drink in the sunset’s beauty

As the sun falls delicately to the end of the earth
A fire of reds and magenta overtake the distant horizon
Patterns of of wild geese silhouette in the magical vista
This miracle is the moment in time I have searched for

A ghost of a breeze lifts a wisp of my hair from my forehead
As gently as a mothers hand to her child
Just the incantations of nature’s sounds permeate the lake
Granting me the copious bounty of our beautiful planet

Christmas 1914 France

The trenches were quiet that night
An occasional report from a snipers rifle
No barrage of cannon fire or gas
The life was hell wet and dark
Living in trenches in what had been
a farmer’s field
It was Christmas Eve
At Midnight a a silent winter moon
Then in the frost and snow a single voice
Singing in its native German
That loveliest of carols oh Holy Night
The beautiful old song of Christmas praise
Drifted over the no man’s land
between the trenches
The British soldiers listened in respectful silence.
When the carol; was finished
A young British soldier stood up in the trench
and sang Silent Night in his native English.
All over this place e of madness and death
a common strand of sanity filled their hearts.
In silence some soldiers walked out of the trenches
Into no man’s land the Germans did the same
No weapons they were just ordinary men
Shaking hands exchanging gifts
of cigarettes and chocolate.
Showing each other pictures of wives and children
A makeshift soccer field was made
And some young men played a game
At the end of the day they returned
Christmas was over
The madness resumed

The blue sky pales in fading light
the moon moves oceans with invisible might
in space a telescopes clearest view
sees an unknown Galaxy of red and blue
spaceship earth circles the sun one more time
in the dawn light her beauty begins to shine.

She saw me looking
at the beautiful night sky.
You seem fascinated
by the stars she mused.
They are more fascinated
by me I said.
We understand each other
the stars and I.
They see me as the one
who makes wishes.
I see them as the stars
who fail to grant them.
People think they are
made of fire and power.
But they are only
made of lost dreams
and unanswered prayers.
Which one is made of your wishes?
she asked.
I show her the brightest star
in the heavens.
It is that one
it burns with my wishes.
They are all about you
Doesn’t that make you a star?

The Mudlark

1869
The little boy was hungry.
London was not a benevolent place
for the children of the unwashed masses.
The great Queen Victoria was in permanent mourning.
Grief encapsulated her heart at the loss of her soulmate
Her consort her husband and father of her nine children.
Her beloved Albert.

Hunger and cold were striking the young boy
He was an orphan he knew he was seven
but was not sure of any birthdates.
They had found him wrapped in an old coat
On the orphanage steps.
At seven he ran away from the cruelty of the place.
And foraged in the muddy shores of the Thames river.
Finding bric a brac  a medal a coin a piece of jewelry.
In the thick mud that ****** his bare feet deep into it.

He was having a bad day nothing to sell there would be no food
Or a bed he would sleep in the park under the bushes
Until the policeman found him.he would run away
So that he could not be sent to the workhouse.
They made small boys go inside the chimneys
Of great houses to clean off the soot.

Then a sliver of light from an amost hidden moon
It glinted in the mud he rushed over and picked it up.
It was a beautiful cameo broach gold encrusted ivory
A lovely woman was depicted in it.

In his young life he had never seen anything as lovely.
He showed it to the man who buys the findings of the mudlarks
As the boys were known.
He said it is the likeness of queen Victoria
She is the mother of all the British Empire.
He said is she my mother too?
She is everybody’s mother young lad.
He refused to sell the cameo broach.
No it is of my mother he said.

A week later at Buckingham palace.
A great event was held.
He found a wide gap in the railings.
To allow his thin frail body through.
In the bushes he could hear the throng of celebration.
Creeping around he found a courtyard.
A great lady was sat alone on a bench.
She was weeping.
He moved to her she was older but unmistakably
it was the lady on the broach.

She was alarmed as she saw the young said.
Go away I shall call the guards you ruffian.
But I wish you no harm ma'am he said softly.
I found your broach and I want to return it to you.
In the tiny hand he offered the item to her.
She picked it up from him.

This was given to me by my dear Albert.
I lost it overboard in the river Thames fifteen years ago.

I found it in the mud mother.
Mother she asked quizzically.
I was told you are the mother of all the children in your empire.
And I do not have a mother I am an orphan.
The old lady felt tears flowing in her eyes.
Yes I am your mother dear.
The guards saw him and grabbed him
You will get a beating for this young lad
A good beating.
The lady stood up no one shall lay a hand on this boy.
He has brought me a signal my beloved Albert.
It is time for me to return To my duties
And look after the millions of children in my empire.
And true to her word
she discarded her deep depression and widows weaves.
To take her empire to its mst  glorious days.

The young boy was given a job in the palace
And educated to become a fine gentleman
A lawyer who advocated for the poor and lost
In London’s streets.

Moon Talk

I am so alone this night.
I hold a conversation
with my old friend the moon.
I whisper to him.
I feet so incomplete
how can all these years pass by
and leave me such a partial being.

My supportive friend answered me
I an seldom complete
sometimes waxing sometimes waning.
Sometimes hardly a flicker of a smile
Sometimes a ghost of a sad mouth.
Remember my human friend
You don't have to be
complete or full to shine.

He always makes sense
I guess he is wiser than humans
after all how many
millions of years old is he.

Then he gave me
the answer I needed
he mused softly.
His voice so magical.
So philosophical
I love him in this mood.

But when you are
feeling full or whole.
That is the time to shine.
To light up the world in the power
of your reflected completeness.
That is when you
will have the power.
The power to effect
every person on earth.
And Move the oceans

England 1892.

The Orphan boy.
The Orphan Boy

The little boy lay sleeping homeless in the park.
So cold and he did shiver so frightened in the dark.
No mother or father to tuck him into bed
No pillow full of feathers to rest his weary head

The faery Queen looked down upon him a tear fell from her eye.
The winter winds will end him he surely will just die
She commanded her best faeries go to the little boy
Go bring him to our island to be happy filled with joy

Bring him to the faerie place to run free and run wild
Where happiness will fill him go bring the human child
Guide him here in safety fly here hand in hand
From his world so filled with sadness
With more tears than he can stand

The cold was biting through him he was near his very last
As the faery throng came to him his troubles were near passed
A thousand faery hands took him like a feather to the sky
To warm him by the suns light as to the magic land they fly

No more to feel the hunger and pain of being alone
The magic kingdom he lived in was a wonderful new home
He had fairies for sisters and the faery queen became his Mom
He was her little boy her one and only human son

The faery throng all sang to him a lovely faery song
"We brought him to our island to live with our faery thong.
To live within the magic faery land to run free and run wild
Where happiness now fills him our only human child
Never to be alone again and always hold a faery hand
From his world so filled with sadness
With more tears than he can stand."

There are secrets I do not tell
even to myself.
They are the same secrets
the cherry bossoms
know when they
proliferate the cherry trees.
Even as they prepare
to fall like confetti.

They are the
babbling secrets
Of  the mountain streams
as thier waters bounce stunned
into the rocks of the rapids.

Hush whispers the librarian
As the rows
and volumes of books.
Keep their dusty secrets
in her silence.

In the garden
The fluted speakers
Of the morning glory.
Sing only silence
Falling asleep
into dreaming nights.

Just about audible
the taunting voices
Of the
whippoorwill

Never tell
Never tell
Never tell.