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Jude kyrie May 6
The chirping of a
lonesome invading cricket
The only sound
on this summer night
The Broken silence of the house
Amplifies the sadness.

Outside the spilled moonlight
Collects in silvered pools
A tangled clematis
Beautiful in its radiance.

Clouds of prayers
wisp upwards to the heavens
And the reflections
of a billion barren stars
Create constellations of ghost.

Peering into the depths
of unknown tommorows
Seeking the one
to cure all loneliness forever.

Hearts knowing she is there
Even if unfound and unseen.
Just as the stars are there
In the daylight
when they too are unseen.
The lonesome wait
For true love
Jude
Jude kyrie Apr 17
His dream was returning
the one he loved.
Every time it came he felt at peace .
She walked out of the mist as always.
young and beautiful
as breathtaking as the first moment
He had laid eyes upon her sixty years ago.

She offered her outstretched hand to hm
As usual he left his tired old body
It was so old and frail
And he was young handsome man again.

Her hand holds his so gently.
He turns to her
her eyes like deep blue pools.
Her cherry lips smiling
Then the kiss
…..Oh god the kiss

The one he longed for
So often since she passed.
Soft music was playing
And the danced together
as the sof often did.

But he realized
this was where he always awoke
and returned again
back to the old man's body
sad and lonely.

But as he turned to return
the old man was lay as if sleeping.
She held him closer to her breast.
Its alright my love she purred.
You are here with me now.
He is gone.

He turned into the dream
and together they walked
across a  pathway
High in the clouds.
To a garden where
the sun always shines
And darkness never comes.
we will meet again
a great dream
Jude
Apr 8 · 82
SEASONS WHIMSY
Jude kyrie Apr 8
SEASONS WHIMSY

The morning mist is floating
Over the surface of the
deserted silvered lake.
A lonely heron skims over
the lakes silent still waters

late summer dew collects
upon the tired maple leaves.
Quietly awaiting
the winds of autumn.
To Initiate their annual
vermilion metamorphosis..

Gentle mist of fog
rise from the
warm lake waters.
drifting in spirals
slowly skywards.
Like souls in grace
returning to heaven.

All over the Woodlands
are autumns chilling signals
And my soul is mourning
the last breaths
of a dying summer
Ahh Canadian  Autumns
The last gifts of summer.
Jude
Apr 3 · 61
A Sunset on the lake
Jude kyrie Apr 3
A Sunset On The Lake

Down beyond the woodlands
The majestic golden sun
On silent shining waters
its glowing reflection hung

Amber clouds spread like curtains
as they passed the fading sky
I could almost hear them closing
as the daylight bid goodbye

The gentle weeping breezes
in the pine trees by the shore
Sang a song of nature’s anthem
to  remember for evermore.

A holy reverent silence
That no creature dared to break
In each soul brushed a painting
Of that sunset on the lake.

In beauty so transcending
As the water lapped my feet
Spoke beauty in a language
That had no need to speak

Then under the cloak of evening
Played a softened lullaby
Sleepily splashing on the wavelets
under a dreamy darkened sky.

If I should live forever
This vision will awake.
Visions will leave me never.
Of that sunset on the lake
Written for the beautiful
Country of Canada.
My adopted mother.
AlwaysYour son
milady
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 29
Time travels of an old man


It's simple to be young again
No longer old and frail like me.
But handsome and seventeen
I close my eyes and find
sleep descending
like a foggy mantle.

My buddies join me
We are sharing a doobie in Nam.
I can still  feel the love of these guys.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
The evening is dark tonight
Moonless.

Charlie mounts an attack.
The tracer bullets light up the clearing.
My young friends are cut down.
Crying for their mother.

Air power blows Charlie away.
Joe my best friend
lies dying in my arms.
He whispered  his last breath
I love you man.
I am weeping
Not as much as I love you man.

I was hit too but not dead.

My travels in time move on now
It's six months later in West Virginia

I walk to the trailer door
With the use of my cane.
A new lifelong appendage.

A beautiful  young woman  answers
She is holding a baby in her arms.

I pass the letter that we prepared
In case well just in case.
It has blood on the envelope
I tell her it was mine.

She wept as she read Joe's letter.
I hold her baby as she reads it.
Whispering to him
See buddy your just fine
Your not dead at all.
I love you man.

I wake from my time travels
It's the 21st century.
But the tears in my eyes
Are from so long ago.
Ahh
Travelling  back in time
Can make you weep
Sometimes
Jude
Mar 29 · 36
Paradise lost
Jude kyrie Mar 29
First love is the original sin of lust.
When it's taste explodes in your senses.
All the church bells chimed sweet music.
You found me in an unsuspecting instant.
And I gripped you like a drowning man.

Youth hides the impossible chances of repetition
We were sharing the neutrinos that passed through us
The chains of childhood melted leaving us unfettered.
In innocence we found the bottomless pool
Of the purest lust.
Had the sky ever been so blue
Or the ocean so clear.

Take my heart my love
Never let it go
This place we have found
All the clarity we desire.
The world below us
Are all blind
Yet we can see.

The storms of youth
Exploded in our light
The snows of our
Shangri-la melted
And I missed you.

I searched the earth to find you
Walking in the hinterland of joy
Can you see me my love
Look into the clouds of smoke
Left from our fires.
This place is a wasteland
Come to me
Entwine our hearts
Become one with me
Fly away together
...  to our paradise lost
The impudence of youth
Make lies of the lasting
Truths that sometimes
There is only one chance
Jude
Mar 29 · 42
Behind her smile
Jude kyrie Mar 29
She sees the young people.
Exchanging daydreams
In beautiful  eyes
across the room

The woman with silvered hair
Sighs and sips the vinegar wine.
Her black ash mascara
awaiting her tears that are
Ready to trail her cheeks
with unwanted memories.

Time awaits for her
around the shadows wearing
A scythe and cloak in fearful dread.

A lifetime of assignations
lie in the graveyard .
A lone plot deep and dark
It's soil freshly dug
Bears her name.

she nods politely  at the young.
Her smile hiding the wreckage
Of her life.
But she knows the truth

That lies beneath her makeup
The dried lipstick on crystal glasses
That will not wash away.
Or the water Stains on her soul
Of a thousand stories
She has never written.
Dark thoughts
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 29
In Chinatown
the paper lantern's russell
The spring breeze sways all candlelight
She looks through the window
With trails of mascara tracing her tears.

In Chinatown
the paper lanterns sway
in synchronized unison in
choreographed dance.
Her heart beats the loud
Rhythm of its melody

In Chinatown
In depths of candlelight
She holds a paper lantern
It is red and heart shaped.
A pattern of a grieving Willow
Adorns the sides.

In Chinatown
She releases the pristine Calligraphed
words of love once shared.
Now free again
into the night breezes.

In Chinatown
She sees them fly away
They contained her deepest dreams
All of her life's aspirations.
They drift into the moonlit night
And join
a swarm of origami doves.

In Chinatown
A love is lost
A day now ends
And A heart is broken.
Don't know where this came from
But it seemed sweet
Jude
Mar 28 · 29
Candlelight Dreams
Jude kyrie Mar 28
in my room the candles flame
Dances on the wall again
Far away the golden dawn
Close by me the Darkened  hall.

Sing me poems from the heart
Dulcet voices in this dark
Play your music from the soul
In Soothing lullaby make me whole

Take the mantle of the night
And cover me with heavens light
Bring the fires of your bliss
Heal this burning with your kiss.
Ahh the lover
You have never met
Jude
Mar 28 · 95
The Anniverary
Jude kyrie Mar 28
the old gypsy restaurant
is still the same.
Hungarian waiters
serve the same food.

For just a moment
the warmth of the wine
Glows like sunshine
on my tired heart.

I pass a ten dollar bill to
The violinist.
His gypsy violin is playing
Our song
La vie en rose

.if I close my eyes.
and sip my wine
I can still feel you here
across the table from me.
Eyes as bright
as sunlight on the water.

I stop the flowers girl
And buy a red rose.
Laying it by your unused plate
The words I love you
Just whispered  loud enough
For her to hear.

Is your lady coming she asked.
No I whisper  to her.
She is already here.
Ahh  romance
Some losses cause scars
That never heal.
Jude
Mar 28 · 159
Springtime Blush
Jude kyrie Mar 28
This night's aromas are steeped in fragrance
Springtimes first blush touches my face
My heart overflows with the
heady perfumes of all things renewing.

The last touches of a winter sky
Fade in the warmth of the newness.
Above a silhouette of squawking geese
Fly in a perfect Vee formation
With the slightest of gaps
Between their outstretched wings

Springtime sends it coded signals
Rich from the memories of  eons past
to all living things to live be beautiful
Multiply and bear fruit it calls.

A night breeze stirs  my hair
Like a mother's touch.
And my spirit rejoices
At a winters death.
Just LOVE springtime
Jude
Mar 15 · 41
Darkness reigns
Jude kyrie Mar 15
darkness  is a mantle
That billows from the clouds
It brings back all the pain
Hidden inside its ghostly  shrouds

Bring me the  light of morning
Hold fast those  bitter tales
Give me the tender light of dawning.
Quieten all your stormy gales

Bring softly the ghostly memories
That dance inside  my head
Take away the fear and longing
For all of those now dead
Dark thoughts
Jude
Mar 14 · 41
The Fallen Angel
Jude kyrie Mar 14
I found her atop a windswept hill.
So beautiful and serene.
The golden tresses of her hair
Flowing as a halo in the sunlight.

She told me  she was a fallen angel.
And her wings had been taken away.
And that she came here to be closer
To herGod and
To beg him to return  her wings.

She said one day
he would give them back to her.
and then she would
teach me how to fly.

It was a sad
yet beautiful untruth.
She held out her arms
and enfolded me in them.
Like she would in her wings.

The beautiful fallen angel
with the windblown sunlit hair
and eyes as blue
as a summer sky.
The only one
who can make
my lonely heart sing
Perfection is nice
But it's the imperfections
We fall in love  with
Jude
Mar 14 · 97
Origami
Jude kyrie Mar 14
Origami
Sometimes
when you stare at me.
I feel naked in front of you.
no more  
than a sheet of white paper.

your eyes cut me
like razor blades.
Your white teeth
chew my shapes.
you have all the powers
I am being folded
into the object that
you want  me to be
all that you desire.
A deer
a bird
a aeroplane.

your deft fingers fold
and crease  my shape.
can you not see.me
my flesh is soft and pliable.
my heart is beating
with passion for you.

my mind is clear and decisive
I crave only your love
Your acceptance.
And yes.
your tenderness

yet you fold me once again
I feel the pain of each crease.
Yet I know the truth.
in your eyes
I am but origami
Mar 14 · 68
Creases
Jude kyrie Mar 14
Marriages as long as ours
Should be cast in stone.
When she left me
Anger filled my life.

I broke the things she loved.
Just to hurt her I suppose.
The wedding pictures
In the glass frames

Later in remorse
I put them in
the bedroom drawer

Now I just ache
to see her.
Just to hear her voice.
Not to persuade her to return
It's too late for that I know.

In despair  I retrieve
Her pictures from the drawer.
I try to smooth the creases
In the photographs.
As if it could
Smooth the creases
She has left in my life
Sometimes we take for
Granted the most important
Things in our life.
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 14
There's a magic
about the springtime.
It pretends to be new
full of rebirth
.but it is not.

Even the Ancient maples
Bursting in Bud and syrups
Hangs fat with knowledge
Full to the brim  of memories.

The returning starlings
Knowing where they live.
Cry a crescendo of yesterday.

Sometimes as the moon glows
On forgotten pathways
in my garden.
I hear their secrets
I see their memories

And the ice grip of winter
Is melting in my heart.
And I see you
Once more visiting Springs song.
The light of  my heaven
Beneath a blossoming tree.
Just a note of reflection
Beautiful things
Have secrets  too.
Jude
Mar 14 · 102
women.... go figure
Jude kyrie Mar 14
women… .go figure

She tripped me up in junior school
I grazed both my knees
Had to see the nurse.

At Halloween
she broke into my locker
And stole my candy stash.

She copied my math homework
And Got me an F.

Later she told my first date
At the prom I was ***.
Just trying to look straight.

I married  her last week
If that's all she wanted
Why on earth
Didn't she say so.
My umpteenth
attemptat understanding
the fairest ***
Mar 12 · 50
spring fever
Jude kyrie Mar 12
Spring  fever

in the first blush of a waking springtime
The warming rays of the long lost sunshine
Touch my face like a mother's kiss.
At my feet an army of  purple Crocuses
Defiant of winter standing. *****
with the pride of survival.

Squirrels frolicing in joyous enjoyment
Of a renewal of all loved things
including  their own species.

My wife joins me in
celebration of the springtime.
I touch her hair softly
Her smile as warm as the sunshine.
Our unspoken intimacy promises
A return to the flesh.

I imagine how good her hair it will feel
Flowing upon by bare chest.
We look at each other differently
Not as those labels
Like mother and father
Or husband  and wife
But as the people who could not
Get enough of each other
When we first met.

I see our  children playing
In the fresh air.
The youngest  as fresh
as the spring itself.

And I know that in some far off springtime
When I do not have work so hard
Just to make ends meet
and the children are grown up.

She will touch my hair gently
as she does.
And ask me
Were youhappy back then.
My love.
I will say to you
Yes my love
So happy
So very happy.
In the spring
a young man's ffancy
turns to love


Jude
Mar 11 · 40
In the sleepless hours
Jude kyrie Mar 11
The knife wound of loss
Awakens me from the
tranquility of sleep
Outside my window
A sleeping world watched over
by the guardianship
Of a constant moon.

The only companion this night
The nocturnal whip poor will
Lavender wisps its faint remaining
Fragrance from your pillow.
Loneliness amplified by the night
Grips my heart like a vice.

The afterlife wears a secret shroud.
Please tell me it exist I pray.
Only the answer from
the whip poor will
Filling my ears
Never tell
Never tell
Never tell
Nothing. Good
Fills the mind
In the night  hours
Jude
Mar 11 · 366
Autumns kiss
Jude kyrie Mar 11
This nights air is purified by silence
Autumns cold kiss touches my face
Hearts are filled with the pungent
Odors of all things ending.

A palid sad sky
Becoming the backdrop
Of the swarming starlings
Curving ever changing lissajous
Shapes in impossibly complex
Mathematical formulas.

The signals of winter
Are everywhere.
And my spirit is in mourning
For a summer scorned.
beautiful Canadian
Autumns
Come at a heavy  price.
Jude
Mar 10 · 106
Lovers Lullabye
Jude kyrie Mar 10
In silvered stillness inside this light
Stars cluster dreams this perfect night.
Haunting nightsong brings delight
Lovers sleeping in heavens sight.

The measured rhythm  of our sighs
Gossamer dreams behind closed eyes
In sleep we celebrate  our love
In peaceful tribute from above..
Yawnnnn
Let's make spoons
Jude
Mar 10 · 33
A womans heart
Jude kyrie Mar 10
In fettered chains her heart  was kept
With saddned dreams it softly wept
On  feathered wings it's hopes  would  fly
Within purest air in an azure sky.

She gave it freely  to he that cared
With home and children that she shared
Once nights brought tender plays of love
Promises of joy rained from above

How cruel the gifts of love can be
When Love is lost in a stormy sea
This womans heart once touched the stars
Now frozen forever behind prison bars
Attempting to understand
the feminine heart . .
Not sue it's working
It's my thirty thousandth attemp
Sigh
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 9
The road ahead has not changed
Even after all those years
I know that the old clambar
Will be there just by the dunes.

The sand spilled pools
On the old road tell me
I am almost  there.
My annual pilgrimage to us
Is about to happen.

The brash 1950s Neon lights
Flickering  the clambars name
The B is still unlit as it always  was.
A relic of the distant past
Like I am now, I suppose.

My eyes are straining in the dim light
It is comforting to find it unchanged
I fish out a 10 cent coin
Feed the classic Wurlitzer jukebox.
Press B17 without looking at the dials.
Elvis weeps are you lonesome tonight.

Closing my eyes
I can see you sat with me
I knew you would wake
from your ghostly life.
And see me just for a little while.
For only a moment.

My ice cold beer
collects condensation.
My eyes close to feel you
Back with me.

We are slow dancing so close.
on the worn parquet square.
I am 17 again
You are beautiful.

I whisper
I love you so much, baby girl.
Your hand lifts up my long hair.
From my forehead.
You call me your wild man.

God, I miss you, baby
Why did have to go and die?

I sip my  beer.
this place is now full of ghost.
two of them are dancing close.
They are so in love forever
I think it is us
Sometimes
true love only visits once
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 8
In the distance someone is playing
Bolero on a flute
It's melancholy melody is gripping me
To times I must not visit.

This night is heavy with sadness
Everything is filled
with the humidity of late summer
Moisture forms upon the glass of wine
In my hand
Water drips from the leaves of the parched trees
It forms in my heart.

In the sultry night air
someone is playing bolero on a flute
it is bringing her back to my vision.
I must not let her inside me.
And my heart is aching.

The breeze that carries the music
Is filled with water like unspilled tears.
My heart is releasing her as fresh as the day
That I fell in love with her.
In the distance  someone is playing bolero on a flute
And my soul is aching
Always  liked bolero
It was ravells least important work
But to the world
His most important one.
****
Mar 8 · 43
THE FOUR SEASONS
Jude kyrie Mar 8
Nature's wisdom created the four seasons
Each so different and yet stunningly beautiful
Each in its own way

She  is so wise
Teaching us of the seasons of our life
In living colour and annual repetition

The spring

A time of loving renewal and planting
A time to build our harvest
To create our families
And populate her earth with bounty.
Replacing that that dies in the long winter,

The summer

A time of bounty
Of salad days
Where the warmth of the heavens
Blesses her earth
And the heart is filled with colours
Like the flowers that spill
their sweetness into the night air.
To remind us of the
bounty of a life lived well

The Autumn

That colours the forest gold amber and yellow
In a defiance trees rage of ageing
Pushing their inevitable death
a further day away.
Yet the cool nights and
The promise of winter winds.
Kiss the living.
And the knowledge of the end
Of seasons becomes stronger.

The winter

Its cold snow and ice
Freezes the skeleton trees
In a desolate landscape of death.
Long cold days and nights
Forget the bounty of the past.

The Renewal

Then slowly with beads of melted snow
The spring is crying
I am new I am here
I am coming back
I will carry on

And your life
will be renewed by your children
Their flowers are you
Their heritage is yours
They are your immortality.
Feeling a bit spiritual
or more truthfully
sick and tired
of an endless Canadian winter
Jude
Mar 8 · 47
Borne of the waters
Jude kyrie Mar 8
The mighty  sea
is our mother here on earth
She gave birth
to her  teeming  masses
We were borne of  her salted  depths
And that is where we must return.
She sends her seagulls
To cry of freedom in azure skies

I hear her sirens wail
Far away in the depths of my sleep
Come back to me, my son.
Swim in the freedoms of my worlds.
See my wonders
You are mine
And I am yours

Breathe your air out there
But remember
You belong here in the cooling waters
Of eternity
Come back to your mother.
And live with me forever
For you must
Return to me
You were born of  the sea
You belong to me.
for the heck of me
I don't know where this came from.
Like Scrooge said to Marley's ghost
You could be a piece of undigested cheese.
LOL Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 8
brick by brick the past is demolished
All of the ghost that lived there
With me are made homeless.
As the old cinema turns into dust and ashes
Just like my dreams did so long ago
The wrecking ball ignores our screams.
.

We sat there so long ago my love
In the plush seats holding hands
Our favourite friends performed their parts
Bogart and Bacall kissing in monochrome.
I would look at you in the dimmed lighting
My heart filled  with happiness and  first love
The first is special it is swollen with innocence.
And for some the only one they get.

We kissed in living vibrant colours back then.
You were holding my hand as the movie played
Later we walked back to our small flat
And made tea and love


I knew even back then
in the cornucopia of passion
That beauty such as yours
was far beyond
such an ordinary man like me.

I knew you would one day leave me
broken and irreparable.
And that my heart
would be shattered into pieces.

Even now after all these years
it still dreams of you.
And I never replaced you in my life
It would not be fair to the other lady.
She could never be you.

Yet in my loneliness in the passing years
I would sit alone in this old movie  theatre
Both of us friends me and the worn seats.
Bogart still kissed Bacall

And sometimes just for the tiniest moment
I could feel your hand
Slipping into mine once more.
My heart would stop aching
And all things in my world
Would be at peace
The wrecking ***** are
Way to busy for me
These days
Jude
Mar 7 · 38
When the rain falls
Jude kyrie Mar 7
There are memories in the rain
They fall like ghost and hide in the deluge
Sometimes she is a child
Dancing in the rain
Yellow sowester and rubber Boots
It is so real I can almost touch her
But she is made of raindrops and dreams.

We always  loved the rain
Even as children
Splashing in pools of water
I think it was then
that I fell in love with you.

Even after college
Where we melted
the chains of friendship
And became lovers.
The rain streamed down
Our window in my little  flat.
As we made love for the first time.

We were so happy as man and wife
Remember  my love we danced in the rain
The olive days of life.

When the sickness  came
It was too strong for the rain
To wash it away.

Then on that last day
You said is it raining my love.
I said yes it has rained  all day

Take me outside  and dance with me
In your arm one last time
In our rain.

When you left me later that night
I folded my heart into a love letter
And slipped it into your soul
Saying to you
For you to read my darling
On a rainy day.
There's something  sad
In the Rain
Jude
Mar 7 · 42
Moving on at last
Jude kyrie Mar 7
Christmas  has many ghost
Some of them live in the snowflakes
That light up like fairy lights
In the glow of old street lamps.
others hide ubside the broken hearts
Of those left behind.

Too many Christmases
had come and gone
So long without  you my love.

But she had come into my life
I don't know how or why
she got inside me.
But here we are
Sharing dinner
in the old restaurant
.the crackling of Yule logs
glowing in the fireplace

The ice crystals in my heart
cannot live
in the warmth of this season
I feel them melting  like tears
Upon  the face
of old Christmas past.

.The loss of  a Christmas past can
fall like the snowflakes..
Hardly noticeable at first.
Then a dusting falling onto the face
living as  frozen tears
the wounds of losing you
Have turned into scars.
But scars will live forever.

she is here now.
not to replace you my love
or take away what we shared.
but to take to Christmas  future
All what is left of me
and shine it like old silver

in the festive restaurant.
Her smile Is a cure for my sadness.
Her hand a guiding light to tomorrow.
Her heart glowing as warm
as  the yule log in the fireplace

Then from the candlelight,
the cure I have waited  for
The one waited for
In an eternity of sadness.
The ghost of Christmas future.
Was in the candlelight that danced
Inside her beautiful eyes
We are not made to be alone
Especially  at Christmas
Jude
Mar 7 · 25
Heavenly Reprise
Jude kyrie Mar 7
There is music everywhere
It exist in the wind
The russling barley fields
The tapping of raindrops.
The creaking if a hinge
And inside my heart.

The notes of chopin's
Beautiful Nocturne
Melt in the nigh night  air
Though the open windows
Moonlight guides its journey
Under a candelabra of starlight.

This night is lost for Sleep
Only the dulcet melancholy
Of my fingers
whispering their delicate
Touch upon the keys of my piano
As softly
as they once touched
your skin my love.

A breeze lifts each note
Far beyond The Star spangled
night sky.
Milktoast puddles of moonlight
Reflect their leaving this world.

The gentle flow of Chopin
Weeps like my soul.
At the loss of you.
A loneliness that
no company  can repair.

The music I play is for you
My love
Only for you.

And I know
That in a distant world
That knows no darkness or pain
Your fingers are pressed
upon a window.
And my music
Is playing in your heart.
loss of a soulmate
Can never be replaced.
Jude
Mar 7 · 133
When the flowers bloom
Jude kyrie Mar 7
There is  a darkness
that never fades,away.
It hides in dusty basements
Locked up old cabinets.
full of secrets
In hides in broken hearts
like mine

Sometimes on a
sunny summer  afternoon
I feel it's sad shadows stretching
Across the sunlight.

It is then
I wished you had left me
On such a sunny  day
When the blossoms bloom
Or at a still warm night
With a nightbirds tune.

For losing would be easier
To bear On such a day
When the world  is still
On an afternoon
And peace rains down
And the flowers
bloom.
........And the flowers
bloom.
Pretty  sad
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 7
He was not my type at all
I thought how ordinary  he looked.
Not the prince charming
I had in my mind.

Yet he waited
under the old street lamp
In the endless  Seattle rain.
Day after day  
just to catch a glimpse of me.

Finally  I relented and said to bim
What will it take
to stop you waiting.
Just one date he said.

I don't know why on earth
I married him.
Perhaps,  because  he made me laugh.
Or, because
he would never try to control  me.
Or,
maybe because  he cried
when Bambi's mother died.

He always knew
how to shake me out
Of my frequent  dark moods.
Or bring a smile to my face.
Or tell me how beautiful I looked
Even when I had a cold.

He has gone now.
When the sickness came
I knew I knew I knew.
And my world is a darker place

I have as time rolled by
Danced the choreographed
movements of love
With other impostors.

But when the twilight
Faded into the blue of darkness.
It was always you honey.
Only you.
love is blind
But the heart
Can see just fine
Jude
Jude kyrie Mar 7
There's a place hidden  inside of  us all,
we keep it  to  ourselves so that no one  can see it.
You see It contains all  of the  secrets
that the  heart contains.
Whenever it is seen by another  person
we lose our control,we lose our Hearts.
It has happened to me just. Once.
Only  once.

She was a cop
well not really
a hostage negotiator
the term I think is first responder.
I was sat on the edge of a high rise.
Twenty-six storey high building  
the people below in the far away  street
looked like ants.
But I felt like one.
I wanted to end it all
and dive into  oblivion.

Sure I had a gun
but it was not to use  on someone else
it was for my last resort.
That's when she appeared
about  ten feet behind me.
She had a kind Consolation about  her.
Tell me it's not about  a woman  she said.
How  did she know that.

It's my wife she's leaving  me
taking the kids.
Why she asked.
Because  she has found someone  
she loves  more  than me.

She pulled  a beer out of  her purse.
Want to share my last beer she asked.
OK but you have  to sit on the Ledge With me .
She did
oh my god she was pretty for a cop.
Can I have you put the gun away she said.
It was my last resort but I gave it to her.
She joined me on the ledge

We cracked open her last beer.
She said its OK
my husband left  me he
said I was a workaholic
It's true I am

I looked at her eyes they were beautiful
He must of been crazy I said.
She smiled.
Come down with me
she purred back to ground zero.
Only if you will have a date with Me
She smiled
so if I date you you won't  **** yourself.
I I guess so.
OK we will do it
one date
Promise
Yes I promise.

I followed  her  downstairs
the cops grabbed me.
And I knew
she had played me like a stradivarius.

I got out out of jail six months  later
It was ok
Three hots and a cot.
A nice guy shared my cell.
No one tried to *** **** me.  
When I was outside  the gate
A car pulled  up.
It was my cop.
The one who  shared  her last beer.
I said what the **** do you want.
You just got me six months in the sneezer

She smiled  that beautiful  smile of hers.
Did you  learn anything in there.
Yes I learned not to trust Beautiful lady cops
She said I am here aren't I.
Yes, you are why?
You wanted a date
And I promised you one date right.

Yes you did.
Well take me on one.
We went for dinner
It was great she was so great.
She looked at me
Have you got over your wife leaving.
Yes I have
We shouldn't have  been together  really
It was for the kids.
OK do you want to see me again.
I whispered  yes I do you are lovely.

Two years  later.


Our second  child was born.
She will be as beautiful as her mother I hope.
My kids come to us half the time we got joint custody.
I got work as fireman.

I sit in my chair  some nights
and just look at her
She saved my life.
She shared her last beer with me.
And you know
what they say.
If you save Somebody's life.
They belong to you.
Be careful
When you fix someone
That is broken
They will belong  to you
Feb 18 · 44
Night Storms
Jude kyrie Feb 18
In storm filled clouds the darkness starts
with broken dreams and broken hearts
it flows the darkness like the rain
soaking parched earth with saddest pain

I cry with tears that join this rain
holding her in my dreams again
losing the the saddest of the light
Passing my heart through another night

give me her sweetness return her charms
bring me comfort within her arms
perhaps I am to never again to rest
my life is done
I have lost the best
dark thoughts come at night
Jude
Feb 18 · 23
The lesson
Jude kyrie Feb 18
In restless sleep the latches click
Now faded memories are all that Stick
A perfumed pillow to bury my face
An aching need of a last embrace.

The crumbs of you all fill my room
A scratched old record plays your tune
No stockings hang from shower rails
No tiny bottles to paint your nails

I cannot call you left no phone.
To let me plead to bring you home.
What if you never again return?
Is this the lesson I must learn?
We don't know
What we have
Until it goes away
Jude
Feb 18 · 51
A STUDY IN SEPIA
Jude kyrie Feb 18
Her faded picture from another place
repressed beauty weeping on her face
Sad eyes are longing to be free
A spirit broken in her eyes I see.
Truths unspoken on her lips.
Lovelights lost in a hearts eclipse.
A lady born in darkened times
Shadows of love, defy all rhyme.
Old photograph
Are like ghost
That cannot speak
Jude
Feb 18 · 181
The Darkest of Dark
Jude kyrie Feb 18
A silvered moonlight sobs a longing sigh
The light sparkled teardrops flow my eye.
church bells chime the last of the blues
Goodbyes are coming like the morning news

Our ending waits to cease all cheer
Your lips are forming its almost here.
Two hearts are dancing loves last waltz
In mournful tones, they sway and halt

Longings are memories with ice-cold breath
Loves sad and broken awaiting its death
This moment falls lightly with tears in our eyes
So drown sorrow with music and say our goodbyes

For the heart is a room where old loves are parked
And the futures holds secrets in the darkest of dark.
Endings are always so sad
Jude
Feb 17 · 55
Nightprayer
Jude kyrie Feb 17
The silvered blush of the moon
Collects haunting fragrances
of memories.yet to be made.
In the star clustered night sky
Stardust falls like feathered down.
My heart is an open door
Waiting for you.
Only for you.
My love
Some prayers
Do get answered
Thank you
My love
Feb 17 · 37
Old Silver
Jude kyrie Feb 17
Old Silver
By
Jude Kyrie

Sometimes, when the day is quiet
And the light from the evening sun
fades to a gentle golden hue.
It touches your greying hair
And my heart is full
with the wonder of you.

Perhaps you are reading a book
or arranging  an errant flower.
Always with such sweet style
You polish our life
like old silver

And when we return to the flesh.
Discarding the years with their
ravages of time.
With school girl charm
You loosen your hair
Upon lavender pillows

And I gaze in wonder
Into your beautiful eyes.
The eyes that have graced
me with the look of your love
for so very long.

And in that moment
Once again.
With all tarnish removed.
Our love shines brightly.
Like old silver.
To my love
I saved the best of me
For you

Juse
Feb 15 · 43
The sound of silence
Jude kyrie Feb 15
There's a sound in the house
It's a strange noise
It creeps inside
through the cracks
in the windows.
It rises up through the gaps
in the floorboards.

Silently, quietly, almost imperceptible.
Until it reaches my ears
Then the crescendo of symbols
The screaming of dying things
Fill my head.

But it still silent
Until it touches my heart.
And then I hear the softness
Of your sweet voice
The sounds of christmases past
Of love and passion
Of children and laughter
Of the touch of your lips on my skin.

And the cacahpony of a lifetime
Deafens My spirit
The sound of silence returns
To torment again another day

And the loss of you
Cuts my heart like a razor.
Are we one or are we two.
Who knows
Jude
Jan 29 · 114
When the lilacs bloom
Jude kyrie Jan 29
It was the lilacs
Yes of course the lilacs
How can the spring of youth
resist them
I know we could not.

He was too young for me
Too handsome
His hair too long and blonde
His eyes too blue.

But the lilacs
Their fragrance as heavy
As dew.
My heart overpowered
At an age when love
has surely passed me by.
But he came into the lilacs fragrance.
Running down the country road all alone
I was answering my cell phone
a business call
Then the accident the noise on the car
The sight of him flying in the air
The silence.

All I had thought about
was money success
Spoiled getting all I wanted.
But he was lay there in the road.
I cradled him to my breast
he was so beautiful.

Are you an angel
he said am I in heaven.
From the road the wild lilacs
sang their sweet song
No not in heaven
you are here on earth.

Can I stay here forever
You are beautiful don't leave me
Let me breathe your lilacs
At the hospital he was treated
He is in bad shape the doctors said
he's pretty broken up
I doubt he will walk again.

Can he stay here I asked
not really he has no insurance,
He will be moved to county asap.
Don't do that I will pay she said.

He went into a coma
for seven weeks
I Sat with him every night
When he awoke
he looked at me with his
Beautiful piercing blue eyes.

You are my angel
he whispered.
You saved me
I belong to you now.

He learned how to walk again
I helped him regain his strength
Then he got well
And I realised
I was going to miss him
So very much.

I asked him what he wanted
I would buy it for him.
He said only you and the lilacs
I said you are too young for me.
You will not want me when I get older..
But he countered  
I want you now my angel

A year later
I just gave birth to our child
She is beautiful
Born in the late spring
When the Lilacs bloom.
Happy accidents  happen
Jude
Jude kyrie Jan 25
The Grave is hard to find
so many of them all identical.
I sit down next to you for our chat.
Sis its mothers day
I was just thinking about you.
How you used to bring your kids
to visit their single uncle
.
Your old station wagon
Pulled to halt in my driveway.Sis.
Your five children fall out
of its rusted doors.
shouting and laughing.
Backfiring as you turn
off the noisy engine.

You slipped ghostlike
from the driver's seat
After five hours of driving
In a bedlam of children’s noise.
you looked so slight and frail
The very sight of you Sis,,
Melted my heart again.

You tell me your husbands left you.
And you have nowhere to live.
I enfold you in my arms
And whisper you always
have a place to live in my house
And in my heart honey

We have lost you now sis
The crab sign won that battle
Don't worry honey
The kids are fine with me.
They started calling me dad
Over a year ago.

They are great kids Sis.
You must be so proud
watching them from heaven

Angel is fifteen now
she looks just like you sis
I look at her sometime
And mouth out your name.

No I never did get Married Sis.
Don't pretend you never knew
I was *** .

I must go fix the kids dinner
Honey I will be back to see you soon.

I love you Sis
I always will
Siblings can be so close
Jude
Jan 8 · 40
NIGHT CALLS
Jude kyrie Jan 8
Within the night an angel calls
In darkest sleep the shadow falls
In breathes of slumber they appear
as though they always were so near.

Lost memories haunt in cracks of light
Finding the saddest tears in dark of night.
Your fingers tingle upon my skin
As again the memories begin.

Let me pass this darkest scene
whispering words you did not mean
Just kiss me deeply once again
And let me drown in cruelest pain.
Just a sad song
jude
Jude kyrie Dec 2018
Birthdays and forevers

Jude writes as a woman again

Its my birthday
40 *** no not that age.
I turn In the bed the lounge lizard I met at the bar
last night wants one more go at me.

I tell him I need to take a call my mom
she calls me first on my birthday its a ritual.
She says her friend is coming in from Columbus Ohio
She has her son with her
she wants me to join them for dinner tonight
give them  a California welcome.

I went,
mom gave me
the men don't marry easy women speech
and told me she could see my *******
through my blouse.
I was ready for the boring night
of platitudes from moms friend.
But it was then I met him.

He was so beautiful
why do the young
have  to  be  So ******* beautiful.
He noticed my *******
I think he was fascinated by me
to my shame I flirted with him.
We went outside
I lit a joint and we shared it.

How. Old are you I asked
Old enough
  he said and held my gaze.
I took him home and ****** him
it was beautiful
not like the bar trash I usually got.
I wanted to give him everything.

My mom was mad the next day.
She said leave him alone he's only 23
But I didn't
I wanted to undress for him again.
And I did.

He would not go back home east
with his mother?
In truth I wanted him to stay
I let him stay at my place.
I never do that

I have not found anyone in ten years
I wanted to spend even  a weekend with.
But he touched me, deeply,
So ******* innocent
I gave him everything.

He had no job or money.
I found him playing Nintendo
after work and drinking my beer and wine.
He was a bit intoxicated one night
and I got mad and threw him out.

He phoned me twenty times a day
So I let him back
I undressed  for him as always
and he took me to the Bed
He had no condoms
but I Had missed him so much
I just wanted him.

It was eight weeks later
I realized I was pregnant?
Young guys like him
are full of fast moving fishes.
I sent him away back to Columbus
He was crying
and told me he loved me.
But I could not trap him
to parenting a baby.

A year later he
He was outside my door
he said he loved me
and couldn't live without me.
I tried to stop him coming in
but his beautiful eyes got me again

I undressed for him
and we made love on the bed.
The baby awoke in the next room
And he went in to see her.
He looked up at me
and he knew ...he knew

He said nothing
and picked up our daughter
holding her close to his heart.
He kissed her head
and comforted her,
Its alright honey
daddy's here
he whispered to the child

A year later

Our  second child
was born two weeks ago
hes a beautiful boy.
He has his father's eyes.

As for me,
I found my soulmate
nobody ever said
he had to the same age.
Jude writes as a woman again
Hey
This does not mean I understand women
Any better
Dec 2018 · 38
The butterfly effect
Jude kyrie Dec 2018
The butterfly rest on my arm
Can its stubborn strength
save the world?
Is it touching
everyone and everything
With its butterfly effect.?

Or can it just save me?
From my desires.
From my needs and lust.
From my loneliness and despair.
Like the warmth
of a perfumed dreamed embrace
In the cold darkness of night.

Can it end the burning cauldron
Of intensity
inside my wounded chest?
This aching
This burning desire.
This smoldering fire.
This latent heat.
This lonely heart.
Sigh
Maybe it can
jude
Dec 2018 · 51
The gravity of stars
Jude kyrie Dec 2018
Memories and dreams
Fall down from the skies
Shapes of old lovers
That weep in my eyes.

Whispers of hello
Songs of goodbyes
Hymns  of old lovers
With passionate sighs

sounds from the cellar
Where they park all lost lies.
It's the ghost of old lovers
Wailing regrets and goodbyes.

The prison gates  are open
There's no cage or bars
Just thoughts made of memories
And the gravity of stars.
Don't know where it came from
jude
Dec 2018 · 58
Winter winds
Jude kyrie Dec 2018
In the winter the night winds wail
Filled with fear and haunted glow
In stormy passages dreams now sail
With ghostly spirits inside their blow

Window frames creak and rattle
Death and livings eternal fight
Like some specter in a battle
Howling winds until morning's light.
Short not long winded
Jud4
Jude kyrie Dec 2018
The portrait.

1926 London

He was desperately poor.
who needed a starving artist in this cold cruel English winter..
Spending his last few shillings he bought a ticket to the play.
It was at the London hippodrome.
Staring Miss Abigail Kendrick.
He had read of her in a theatre magazine
in the little country hamlet
that he had spent his whole life.
but here he was in London
and she who had stolen his heart with a magazine picture.
Was here, he must see her.

In the theatre she shone like the star she was.
Even when the spotlights faded
All  he could see were the beautiful color of her turquoise eyes.
In the second act he was in love with her.
By the end of the play he was besotted.

He went back to his tiny room
By not eating he bought the paints and canvas.
Carefully mixing his colors
on the pallet.
he found the hue he sought.
The perfect turquoise of her eyes.
When it was completed
he thought it to be the pinnacle
of his work thus far in his life.

After the next show was over
he waited outside the theatre stage door.
Several Hours later
she appeared dressed beautifully

He stepped forward into the gaslight
from the flickering street lamp.
You are the most beautiful creature
in god's creation he uttered.

I am in love with you so much in love.
He passed the small painting to her.
And she took it from him.
It's ...it's.. so beautiful she whispered.
Not as beautiful as you milady

She kept the painting for her whole life.
Always in a predominant position
in her stage dressing room.
She heard the artist had died
a few weeks later after he gave her her picture.
So sad so very sad.

2018

The young woman entered
.the old building in London.
Her great great grandmother
had passed on
she was left all of her possessions
She was over 100 years old when she died
and the girl knew there
would not be much of earthly value.

But it was her duty to clear her apartment.
She saw the programs of the the plays
her great grandmother had been in.
Then she saw the painting
on her mantle shelf.

It was so beautiful
a portrait of her great great  grandmother
in her beautiful maytime.
The eyes were dancing in the light
even now so turquoise

She had been a great beauty.
She looked at the name of the artist in bottom corner.
With all my heart and love Roger Donovan
Her heart stood still for a moment.

She had to call her own artist man
who had stolen her heart forever.
She pressed his name in her contact list
Her cell phone sent the call.

The receptionist at the art gallery answered
Can I speak with James Donovan please.
He answered the phone excitedly
and said darling I have just completed
your portrait it is the best work
I have ever done.
I truly believe
I have the exact hue
of your beautiful turquoise eyes.
Serendipity perhaps
Jude
Jude kyrie Dec 2018
Neither one of them knew when the rivalry began.
It was certainly in their infancy.
Rachel Huntington was twenty
a star scholar at Oxford university.
Matthew fotheringham was the same age
also a star scholar  
They excelled in the study of English literature
having read all of the aincent and modern classics in high school.
It was known that saint Hilda's college at Oxford
regarded Rachel as  the most  gifted student
they had seen for years.
In his group the same was said for Matthew.

They shared the same advanced literature class
and the tension between then was palatable.
She would put forward a proposition
on Shakespeare repeated usage of
Iambic pentameter.
And Matthew would destroy her concept
with a detailed analysis of his works.

Have you been  cribbing with Cole's notes
he would add in disdain.
Rebecca hated him
calling him insufferably conceited and a total buffoon.

He once went to her dorm
to pick up an ancient script
she had borrowed from the library , the only copy.
He phoned from the hall
shall I come up to your room
And pick it up.
Rachel shouted No!
I will bring it down to you.
You are never to come up to my dorm.
It's not that I wouldn't allow a man up here
But if anyone were to see you leaving
and got the wrong idea.
I don't want them to think I have no taste
and low standards in boyfriends.
And that's how it went on.

Then the literature guilds competition had been announced
Scholars from all over Europe
were to present their essays of no less than 25 thousand words and the winner would receive 25 thousand guineas
but more importantly that opened the door
to the chairs of literature all through the continent.

The rivalry escalation was at fever pitch.
Matthew worked  75. Hour weeks on his essay
Rachelle kept up with him never wasting a single moment.
The class bookmaker has had narrow odds on the winner it one of these two.

They went to the presentation hall
and entered the book sized essays
sealed in manilla envelopes
Rachel quipped,you don't have a chance,
you couldn't copy mine.
Matthew said,
I hope they don't use the new plagiarism software
you have probably stole yours from the internet.
I already have made plans for my winnings he bragged.
What a good plated pocket protector
and  a girl friend you just add air too.
Matthew was hurt
Particularly at the insult
that he had a blow up plastic girlfriend.
He remembered humor was the best defence
it showed they could not hurt you.
I only bought her for driving
on the diamond lanes on the highway.
Anyhoo nothing happened between us
until that last night of term
When we drank too much wine.
Rachel walked off in disgust
As he yelled so all could here
She's better in bed than you will ever be .

It was two weeks to the announcement of the contest winners.
No use worrying about it Matthew said
He went for a long evening stroll by the river.
As he turned on the river bend he saw Rachel
She was crying say beneath a huge willow tree.

For once he did not have a smart quip or an insult.
He walked to her and sat down next to her.
Why are you weeping ? Rachel he asked gently.
She had never ever heard his voice so soft.
My father died last night. She sobbed.
It occurred to Matthew he knew nothing of her life.
I am so sorry what happened
He was the clergyman at Saint Monica's Anglican Church
He had cancer and never let me know.
It had taken all his savings to get me through Oxford.
And he did not want me to lose focus.
Then she wept freely
Matthew held her close to him she wept on his his shoulder
His fingers gently touched her reddish auburn hair.
It was soft she smelt of lavender soap it was nice.
I ...I have to go to Stow  on the wold, tomorrow for the funeral.
I shall take you there
Do you have a car she asked.
Yes I have a twenty year old MG convertible.
My dad bought me when I got into Oxford.
It was arranged he picked her up
and off to the funeral they went .

He never felt as comfortable
or comforting in all his life.
He was seeing her in a new light
after all the stupid years.
They arrived at the old vicarage
Mrs Evans the housekeeper hugged them both
It's about time you got your pretty nose
out of those old dusty books
And got yourself a boyfriend.
The weird part was neither one of them
corrected Mrs Evans.

The funeral took place
And they set back along the old country roads to the university.
They talked about literature art poets and writers.
Then the old engine conked out.
Miles from anywhere
You need to go get petrol she said.

But there's no station between here and Oxford said Michael.
The phone signal was not reaching them.
We have to sleep in the car for the night.
Rachel said as long as you don't get any ideas.
You are not my type.

He was going to tell her she was his type
but said nothing.
It was freezing in the night Rachel was shivering
He took off his coat and jacket
and put them over her in the back seat
As he shivered frozen in the front seat.

In the early morning they woke up
She stepped out of the car and stretched
Matthew was on one knee in front of her
What are doing she asked?
What does it look like I am doing ?
I am proposing that you become my wife.
Never! never! never !
After all the insults you have laid upon me.
Well I'm I'm sorry he whispered.
Not good enough she shouted.

Do you have the guts to make a bet with me Matthew asked.?
Her reddish hair answered the challenge
Just try me.
OK if I win the award you will become my wife.
If I win then you get lost and marry the blow up lady.she countered.
Well the challenge was a tough one
If she did not accept it it was saying he was smarter than her and she knew it.
If she accepted it was the opposite.
OK you have a deal.

A week later Matthew was working in the library
The prize winners are being posted on the notice board.
He felt a gasp in his chest
As he reached the crowd of students he saw Rachel
She even had a trace of makeup on she was now
Getting to look beautiful to him.
Good luck rachel he whispered I hope you win.
She knew he meant it but she remembered the wager.
She said softly I hope it's you that wins Mathew.
A young woman rushed out of the crowd
Rachelle you won you won.
Mathews heart sank
Congratulations Rachel I am so happy for you.
She felt a tear selling in her eye
Mathew where are you going she said.
You told me to go And marry my send away lady
that you just add air to.
If I lost the bet and you won Rachel.
And her heart sank in her chest.

Then the young woman saw him
Matthew congratulations you won.
She showed him a copy of the winners notice.
It had a note
In all the years of the competition we have never had two such magnificent essays
The adjudicator's were unable to mark one better than the other
We have shared the prize to two winners for the very first time.
Rachel held Mathew close and kissed him fully and hard.
Not caring who was watching.
He kissed her back
The crowd were astonished
their feud was legendary at Oxford.


Two years later.

Matthew strolled in the park with the twins
and his beloved wife Rachel.
She had married him
a week after the award ceremony at Oxford.
It was said in the coffee room that the university
had never had two professors
as much in love as them
they were now both  teaching in the English department
and we're already in competition for their tenure.
But they never spent a moment appart.

He picked up the twins
and shouted his love for Rachel
on the top of his voice.
The evening breeze picked up the perfume
of the fallen leaves.
Rachel smiled at him
and whispered softly
I love you too dearest.

She felt him slip into that private room in her heart
that she always saved for her soulmate
As he entered the room holding their two babies.
She locked the door behind him
with the only key that existed.
And then she threw it
into the dense woodlands of Oxfordshire
Never to found again.
Opposites yet so alike .
The best kind of connection.
Jude
Jude kyrie Dec 2018
She was sick that I knew
Being caught between boyhood and manhood
did not make me blind.
They cut my hair off tonight honey.
It's ok mom
you are still
the most beautiful woman in the world.
You are such a charmer honey
The girls are going to love you.
I only want you to love me mom
Only you.

Everyone noticed I could not sleep anymore
Want to talk about anything?
the school nurse said.
No maam I said.

Then the nightmares
The tree huge and everlasting tree
outside my bedroom window.
It walked when I fell asleep.
It's twigs  like fingers
pulled me from my bed
It lifted me to its roaring mouth.
Fires glowed within
I am not afraid I said.
But I just don't know
how much I was afraid.
You are going to share your deepest
fears it roared.
But still I kept silent
not showing him anything.
No fear.

.Mom I need to sleep with you
I take her the meds
Just for five minutes honey.
I feel so sick sweetie.
Your Ok mom
You will get better.
Your hair will.
Grow again.

Call your dad He's in L.A
I know with the sister I never met.
And the lady I dont want to know.
Shhhssssss it's OK.

Then he came again
made of roots and leaves and twigs.
He picked me up like a Bird in the nest.

Tell me your truth. he roared
I have none I wailed.
But I did.....I did......I did

Grandma called she was as cold as ice
Some things never change.
You need to come to my place she said
Got there it was full of China figurines
I am going to the hospital don't touch anything

But the tree monster came again
I was so angry smashed all of grandma's stuff.
When she arrived back home the place is wrecked
She does not give me the licking I deserved.
Instead I heard her weeping in her bed.

The monster came again that night
It's time for your pain tell me it said.
I don't have pain, I lied
Tell me or you will be crushed
by my limbs it threatened.
I....I.....I want to tell her to let go
But that's my fear
It would be my fault you see.
What do I do?
You tell the truth the monster said
Only the truth.

I got back to grandma's place.
I looked at her
She kind of looked like mom.....But older
I just got a call from the hospice she said
We have to hurry
We got to go there?
At the railroad tracks
we were stopped.
By a freight train

Grandma said
We are very different people you and me.
I said I know grandma
But we are going to have to get along
I said I know grandma.
She said of course you do.

We got to the hospital
The nurse was solunm
Go right in, its OK.

She was dying I knew it.
Mom held my hand
I felt the monster behind me.
It whispered in my ear
I am here with you.
What do I do?
I said.
Tell the truth of the ages since time began.
The one that comes
from the inside of your heart.

I squoze her hand tight
I said
It's OK mom.
It's OK to go.
I will be ok.
I promise.
A giant heavy weight fell from my heart
I was truthful finaly.

I remember the last movement
of my mother hand
It faded away softly
Unlike my memories of her love.

But when we got back to grandma's place.
I cried and grandma held me to her breast.
I said I am so sorry grandma
For breaking your stuff.

She pulled me closer
I know honey.
It doesn't matter.
Yo are all that matters now.
I love you honey.
I said softly I love you too grandma
Soo sad to let go
so important we learn how
Jude
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