Midnight Blue

Its then when I miss you
When the darkness changes hue
I hear the church bell chiming
Its calling midnight Blue

So alone without you
My hearts broken
Through and through.
Outside the wind is wailing
Its calling midnight blue.

All my thoughts are of you
There’s nothing I can do
Outside the rain is weeping
Through eyes of midnight blue.

We used to be together
Safe the whole night through.
But now I lie alone
Just me and midnight blue.

I know now I will always love you
so pure and oh so true
But I know that I will stay here
alone with midnight blue.

Life is meant to look forward
not back where I should forget.
Yet even will all the faded years
When I see you Annette.
Misty colored memories come
From a time that’s long ago.
Drifting into the smoke rings
From a thousand cigarettes.

My cigarette is just an ash line
as it burns up in the tray
I am playing the piano
a tune from another day.

I see her clear and carefree
She turns those eyes on me
I remember once again.
My love for you back then.
We could have had a life together
If only I was free.

I remember her lips
so curved and crimson,
in the fashion of the day.
I can see her like it was now
If only I could stay.

My fingers cross the piano keys
I can play this tune with ease.
The old crowd they all sing along
Its such a catchy song.

Then I look beside me
you are stood  there sweet Annette.
She touches my head softly
and says Harry
re you alright?
Your eyes are red and wet.
I look up into her lovely face
I'm drowning in regret.
Yes I am  just fine darling.
it’s only the smoke
from my forgotten cigarette.

Bright stars in the heavens
Dancing in the sky tonight.
Universe is singing singing.
Planet earth glowing
in its flight

Sweetness is pouring pouring
Like heavens rain above
Bright eyes are dancing dancing.
Dancing on a sea of love

Danger Danger
Falling down the milky way.
Hearts are falling falling
Falling in love today

When the loss falls
upon you like the darkness.
And in your heart
it seems irrecoverable
and all is forever lost.

Then remember this.
Even when the mighty stars
supernova in cataclysmic
exploding destruction..
Their energy
cannot be destroyed
but will only change state.
As it joins the expanding
universe.
To become a part
of something more
beautiful.

Sitting silently in my chair
watching you intently.
quietly so that you do not
notice my observing.
The years have run by like a deer
No matter what issue
we face you stay calm.
Deal with it and let it pass.
I see you as the glue
that holds this place together.
I do not remember the last time
I had to worry about the children..
The newscast shows carnage and death.
It flickers across your face unnoticed.
Wearing your silence
like a comfortable Sunday sweater.
I wonder sometimes
just what you are thinking about.
All I know is the fact
you are the island I need.
Peaceful and solid, the anchor
that holds me safe in this harbor.
You have the strength
I borrow to face adversity.
You are the sun at the center
of my small universe.
It’s no wonder I love you.

it was the cornucopia of stars
that I first noticed.
Bathing  in the purest light beams
that had travelled
from the edge of time.

Then I saw your face.
Morning light faded
all the stars in the heavens.
But you remained forever.
Never again to open my eyes
without you in my heart.

I do not understand
the meaning of love.
I do not want to know.
All I need is you.
Only you.

To be part of me.
To feel the burning inside
Of your passion and desire.
To not know
where you end
and I begin.

I wear your morning kiss
on my forehead
like a stigmata.
A visible wound.
That only you can heal.

Mister Sunshine
Makes me drink wine
Makes me feel fine
When I'm way down low.

Mister Sunshine
Makes the words rhyme
When he knows the tune
Is sad

He don't take much
He don't  make much
But Ahhhhh
To be such a man as he
He walks so pure
Between the sky and sea.

Mister Sunshine
He don't take much
He dont make much
But Ahhhhh
To be such a man as he
And walk so pure
Between the sky and sea
Mister Sunshine
Mister Suhshjne
Ahhhhh
Mister Sunshine

The odd thing was
she did not cry.
I remember the army chaplain
standing in her doorway.
Knowing at once the sad news.
Her son was on active duty
overseas with the Marines.

That summer she worked
tirelessly in her garden.
Day after day
from dawn to last light.

Transplanting pruning digging
her shears like a cicada in August..
I do not think
I have ever seen as much beauty.
Flowers everywhere
the whole garden an explosion
of the brightest colors.

Roses hollyhocks hydrangeas
filled the air with their fragrance.
And on the fruit trees
lantern shaped blossoms hung
downwards to earth.
drifting in the breezes.
Falling like the tears
she could not cry.

Fathers And Daughters
A Story Poem
By Jude Kyrie

*My tiny flat is old and dark.
All I got in the split
looks out of place.
She took most everything.
I do not care she can have it.

The only thing I wanted from her
was her love and my daughter.
She has taken both of these things
to another man’s house now.

She drops my teenage daughter off.
for my weekend.
She looks reluctant,
giving me her disinterested look.
but realizes she will have to stay.

My wife looks well and very beautiful
I close my eyes for a moment.
Remembering her long hair
falling on my bare chest
in our bed as we made love.
She turns and leaves
I notice her shapely legs so ****.
I want to say Honey please don’t go.
But bite my lip.

My daughter has a new
tattoo on her shoulder.
And wears Goth like makeup.
My God! What’s happening?
I am cringing
at the miserable time ahead.

Teenagers don't care about anything.
I don’t think we have anything
left in common anymore.
She ate nothing at supper

I go to bed early.
She hears me weeping softly
in the dark.
She comes into my room.
Saying nothing.
She cradled my head
to her small breast.
And kissed my forehead gently.

Then softly she whispered
"Its ok dad,
you are going to be just fine
You have me.
and I will always love you"
That was the moment when
my heart stopped breaking.

Long ago and far away
The thorn bird sang
For just one day.
Silent until a
thorn bush he found.
In that place he made
his majestic sound.
In the light of a sunny morn
He impaled himself upon a thorn.
His singing voice was sweet and clear
Bringing joy to all who hear.
Even in heaven way up high
It brought a tear to the masters eye.
When his singing stopped
The whole world cried.
As the lovely singer
faded and died.

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Airpower cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man.

The day the music died.

We were all seventeen or eighteen.
The jungles of Nam were waiting
like dark visions in nightmare.
You get to be close as soldiers
more than brothers
more than wives.
The clearing was pretty
the feeling of an opening
in the dark trees
of the  jungle was a relief.
Then the light faded
eaten by some monster.
The flowers of our youth ended
in only a few minutes.
The tracer bullets lined
all the way to thier targets.
The petals of our childhood
fell like snow.
The imprints
of the carnage were
indelible tattoos
on our memories.
Out ofsixty boys
only five of us got out.
the dreams of my life
we're tainted red
from that day.
I visited the clearing
a few years ago.
wartime enemies
turn into just people
when the blood is dried
and flowers grow on
old battlefields.
I knelt down and
said a prayer.
Not to an uncaring God
but to my friends
who lost their youth
and futures in this jungle.
For whom weeping tears
was  just not enough.

Cold so cold
Even in the bloom of mid summer
I feel your lips full of need want and desire
Our bodies are as one.
The nightingale lilts its song
And the clematis soothes the moonlight
With it fragrant brambles.
Yet even With this tranquility.
Such completeness like a full moon
Something cold and unspeakable
Pierces my heart.

It was such a long time ago
I was still  a young boy.
My father seemed permanent
hiding from me his fragile mortality.
I did not know we were so poor then.
Always feeling warm and safe near him.
The world was to become
more dangerous than usual.
Especially for blacks in the south.
Darkness hung from the sky
like spiders webs.
Noises that came in the dark
from bogymen and monsters in the closet
Kept my father from sleep that night
The white pointed hoods  of the
Klansmen on horseback passed by our home.
i felt the horses hooves vibrate.
I knew then he may not always have the power
to make the ghost go away.

I remember a few years later
in the jungles of Nam
Lay on my belly in the undergrowth
I heard each crackle of gunfire
the endless noise of the
nights jungle chatter.
My trigger finger on guard
sleepless and in absolute silence.
I learned then that my father’s lessons
were alive in me.
And that in such bad places
a boy needs his father with him.

1918
The Italian Campaign
The last days of word war 1


*He had made the journey
across the Swiss mountains.
The war was far behind him now
just Catherine lay ahead.
As he reached the hospital ward
the old nurse shook her head.
What of the baby?he asked,
her sad eyes looked down at the floor.
Catherine lay pale and weak
on the hospital bed.
Somehow
she managed a smile at his arrival.

"Oh darling,
I am going to die.
Don’t let me die.
Hold me in your arms!
Hold me tight.
Don’t let me go.
When you hold me
we cannot be parted
If you stay with me
I shall not be afraid."

As she left him the church bells tolled.
Declaring the Armistice
The war had ended for some.

He carried her in his arms
to the window.
The crowds below
Cheering the wars end
had released white doves into the air.
They fluttered by the hospital window.
As if to carry her soul to heaven,
He kissed her still lips
And whispered
peace, peace
at last my darling.

When the snow comes

I remember the first year
I came to Canada.
It was late fall and
the winter came early.
I think it was trying to
change my mind
and get me to go
back to England.
The fresh white snow flew.
Soon  it drifted over the pathways.
Silken windsocks of snow
filled the porch.
We all bought scarves
That wrapped about our faces
******* icy air through
woolen fibres.
I remember the houses turned grey
and the pristine white on the sidewalk
quickly turned to wet slush.
My boots felt heavy
and tight with long thick socks.
Gripping them to my feet.
Cars spluttered and coughed
A peephole of windscreen
with a driver peering into the gloom.
I decided to quit Canada
and go back.
But twenty five years later
I am still here.
And the snowfalls
do not bother me at all.

Sat alone at the edge of the warm ocean.
Nighttime illuminated brightly,
by a candelabra of moon and stars.
This hot humid night of summer
overpowering me dragging my spirits
Into its sultry mood.

In the distance
someone is playing Spanish guitar.
Its melody almost mournful.
Bringing back my thoughts of you.
Memories that scar heart and soul.
Wavelets lap the shore like your kisses
The night breezes are your sweet breath.
Reflections of a life half lived visit me once again.
.
Someone is playing spanish guitar
Note by note burning into my soul
reviving the lost feelings of desolation.

Morning is creeping over the horizon
This night is sinking into me.
Sleep now is only a distant memory.
You fade away with advancing light of morning.

Someone is playing Spanish guitar
And my soul is weeping.

It was so long ago
so many passing years.
I did not know If
I was happy back then.
Always working
never enough money.
children coming each year.
It was Springtime
I remember the lilacs were abundant.
We sat together on our old porch
a rare moment of us time.
our children were asleep
the youngest new as the spring.
seemingly ours forever.
hiding from us thier shallow roots.
that would be so easily transplanted.
This spring  morning early and quiet
I had no idea
I was happy then.
we drank hot coffee on the porch.
the newspaper folded untouched
full of war and drama of the day.
I remember looking at you intently.
Not as a wife or mother of our children.
But as that beautiful woman
I could never get enough of
when we first met.
The flowing golden hair of your head
tousled sofly in the morning breeze.
I was thinking only how soft it would feel
flowing onto my bare chest in our bed.
For a minute I was full to the brim
of you.
only you.
If only I could have
captured  that moment.
put in a jar
like a child collects insects.
to open again and again
through the passing years.
to breathe its sweet fragrance.
If you asked me now.
were you happy back then my love?
In that long ago glowing morning full
of the promise of springtime
and its flowering carpets
drowning in the fragrance of lilacs.
that proliferated the lattice
I would have whispered to you
Yes, my love,
very happy
so very happy.

Winter's icy fingers
freeze my world.
The door to spring
now in a time lock
like a bank vault

Sitting alone
by my window
warm breath melting
a portal to the street
in the crystalline
patterns of ice .

Outside cars are like extinct
dinosaurs abandoned
in the street.
Covered in pure white.
How elegantly the snow
delivers its silent discipline

Now the wind
wails like a grieving lover
causing the ice covered berries
to gently ******
like glass wind chimes

In the mist of falling snow
Ghostly skeletons of the trees,
leafless grey and frozen
patiently await the springtime.

Far into a distant time to come
apple blossoms glow in radiance
and a church bell chimes.

Hold me near
And hold me tight.
This tender spell
you cast this night.
It is La Vie en Rose

When you kiss me
an angel sighs.
And when
I close my eyes
I see the Vie en Rose

When you hold
me to your heart.
Visions of roses start
in a world where roses bloom

And when you speak
Choirs sing from above
Whispered words
turn into love songs.

Oh give your heart
and soul to me.
And life will always be
La Vie en Rose

It was springtime in the capital.
I visit here every year on this day.
Cherry blossoms are abundant
everywhere I look warm spring sunshine.
The wall is long and filled
with the names of the fallen.

I look for the name
of my boyhood friend Joseph Reilly
It is always hard to find.
So many names so much sadness.

We served together in Nam
I hear the explosion
the flash of the landmine.
He gave his life that I might live
a gift beyond any gratitude.

A shaft of sunlight falls
onto the gold filigree
of the names on the wall.
On my white shirt they reflect
like on a screen.
I see his name on me
as though he is reaching to me
to say I love you man.

A cloud passes the sun
and his name melts from my shirt
On the wall it stays

I think I love you so much because
of your frailties and sometimes regrets.
Perfection in people is boring
And this you are not.

Never to have reached up and failed
Never to have fallen stumbling
only into one of  life's trap's.
Set there for us to learn a lesson.

You are unlike them,
the virtuous and untested.
You are completely immersed,
In the revelation of life's possibilities.
And life has revealed its beauty to you.
And now you share it with me.

She’s leaving home.

*I look at you my beautiful daughter
In your hand a small suitcase.
The college is in the west coast.
We are glued to this eastern town.
How did it get to here so quickly?
You could not hide the excitement
Of your new found independence
From  your eyes.
I try to hide the
wistful sadness from mine.

I remember when I held onto
The seat of your bicycle
as a child.
How hard it was to let go.
My heart in my mouth
as you sped along
the asphalt path.
The uncertain wobbles
giving way to breakneck speed.

I felt this moment way back then
As your hair flowed back
Like a horses mane
shouting
look at me
but
Waving goodbye.

At first I would have nothing
to do with him.
He waited outside my
small flat everyday
Soaked to the skin
in the November rains.

I asked him to go away
But he flashed his
beautiful Irish smile.
And said no
not until you go out with me.
I will wait here forever.

I thought a few more days
He will leave.
But that night I heard
a commotion outside.
He had a group
of Irish musicians
And was
serenading me with
I'll take you home again Kathleen
And
When Irish eyes are smiling.

I don't know when
I fell in love with him.
It might of been then.

All I know it was long ago
And they were
the happiest days of my life.

He sang to me everyday
And called me
his American Colleen.
He always
made me feel so beautiful.
I have lost my smiling
  Irish singer now.
When the sickness came
He just smiled
and say it was a bit of a cold
But I knew ...I knew….
Now on cold November nights.
When the Seattle rain is endless.
I look at the
bloom of the old lamppost
Outside my flat window.
Where he waited
and sang for me?

And in my head
I can hear his sweet Irish brogue
Singing so sweetly his soft celtic voice.

*I’ll take you home again Kathleen
To where you heart will feel no pain

THE SHAPE OF WATER
they say Gods do not exist
that if they did they would be untouchable.
I know this not to be true.
They are everywhere
and come in the shapes
of this earth and the next.

Of all the gifts that my god gave me
and for which I am grateful
the power of speech was not one.
From being a little girl I have been silent.

My position at the research labs
of the federal government
is not one of power
I am a cleaner
I pick up messes
wash toilets
And dust the exhibits.

The amphibian man was a God
I know this now.
They had him in chains
trying to find his secrets
They hurt him
and electrocuted him
kept him from his water
that was his home.
Do we always torture our gods
when they visit us.?

My. Silence was his language
I reached to him
and held my hand against his
on the glass of the aquarium
that was his prison.

I fed him as I cleaned the room.
Then when he came from the water
on heavy chains
I held his hand we signed
which is my language
I taught him words and meanings
care... food ..compassion ...and love
and he felt these things for me.

I was the one that heard
his torturers plotting to terminate him
to open up his body
and see what is the difference
between us and him.
I could have told them
what it was,
he had beauty and gentleness.

I think that was when he fell in love with me
no one has ever fallen for me.
I am ordinary
meant to be single
and of course speechless.

What I did not know was
I was falling in love with him
perhaps  meeting of hearts
of two oddities of our separate species.

The escape was easy
no one suspected me
a lowly dumb cleaner.
But I took him out in the laundry cart
I sent out every night.
For weeks I kept him safe
in my little apartment
filling the bathtub with salted water

at last I had someone to care for
someone gentle and kind
someone who did not need
the voice I did not have.
I knew I must set him free
in the oceans where he belonged.
But my heart would break if I let him go.

The real monsters
came looking for him
with guns and there stun guns.
My best friend Dolores from work
phoned they were coming to search my place
I Got him to the harbour by the docks.
But they followed me

The car headlights blinded me
as they fired their weapons .
that when I had been hit
and fell to the ground.

My god lifted me
and dived into the deep waters
I was floating with him
in a lovers dance within the waters.

He was a god
and he healed my wounds
so I  could breathe as he did
under the waters.

Together we left the sadness
of this world and I followed him into his.

Dolores said later

did they fall in love and live happy ever after?
Are they together forever
Living in the domain of the sea.
I like to think so
but
Instead I call upon a poem
Written by lovers hundreds
of years ago.
it says more than my wishes
And defines clearly
What is  love
and the shape of water.

*Unable to perceive the shape of You,
I find You all around me.
Your presence fills my eyes
with Your love,
It humbles my heart,
For You are everywhere

The sun melts in misty haziness.
I flow with its tranquil mood
as the wind from the ocean
sends a layer of
fine sand from the dunes
onto my porch.
The dunes  whisper to me
with the seagrass
bending like barley
in the late summer.
They whisper in
the language of the seabirds
the salted wind.
It speaks to me of freedom
and wild waves..
If such choices are permitted
when my time here is finished
I will return as sand and not dust.
The gulls will see me
as I fly with them.
Silently yet
shouting my freedom.
In the crescendo
of the eternal blowing
sea winds.

In cold winter my mind is calling
to the Spring.
Sweet apple blossoms are falling
in the Spring.
When fruit trees fortel their story
of future bounty glory.
And the throaty songbirds sing
in the Spring.

Oh! to walk beneath the blossoms
in the spring.
Heady perfumes now are calling
every loving heart to sing.
with cascades of branches falling
the cuckoo bird is lilting
in the spring.

To see a country bride
with her new  husband by her side
her hair in an  apple blossemed crown.
in a joy that only apple blossoms bring
in the spring.

I want to walk about the town
in the spring.
as the fruit trees wear thier crown
in the spring.
To see all the ladies wear
apple blossoms in thier hair.
Apple blossoms everywhere
in the spring.
Oh!
in the spring.

I do not know her given name.
Everyone called her Misty
Perhaps because she floated unnoticed
in a misty ethereal calm .

He noticed her quiet countenance
and he controlled her every thought.
He was powerful strong controlling
Misty disappeared even further
into the vapor that was her.

She followed him like cargo
to be taken places.
Never to choose herself
When I looked into her ice blue eyes
seeing the sadness she held inside.
The need to be herself slowly
dying within her.

People would say of them
What does he see in her?
She’s so laid back and dreamy.
She has nothing to offer.
Just a flat personality.

Then one day Misty stood up
and she broke free from him.
Traveled to places she had only
seen in glossy
Brochures and magazines.
She had adventures in other places
that were not even in travel magazines.
Places she once thought
she would never ever go to.
Well!
Not on her own anyway.

Paying it forward
A story poem
By
Jude Kyrie

*The iron gates to the graveyard
creaked liked bones.
It was my kryptonite death and darkness
I know you live here now.
Your mother told me a few hours ago.
I search for your grave in the moonlight.
I see a candle burning on a headstone.
I know it is you
your mother visited this afternoon.
I sit down on the mowed lawn of the cematary.
Fear has left now i have found you.
I throw on a playlist from the long ago past.
And settle down for one of our chats.
I know it will be me doing all the talking
Buts that ok it was always like that .
Do you remember when we were kids?
I was sat on the dock by the lake
The sky was blue
The lake was blue
Your eyes were blue
And I was black and blue
Stepfathers are not always kind.
You slipped next to  me
Placing your arm over my
beaten young shoulders.
Your hair smelt like sunlight.
Just the small touch of kindness
Made my eyes tear up.
I wanted to shout my love for you.
Across the water of the big lake.
But only silence would come out.
The one who stole my  childhood
With his cruelty and anger.
Had beaten my inner
confidence away as well.
Do you know I wrote love poems
for you
but i never sent them.
But they were beautiful
Just like you were.
When you moved away I was desolate.
I tried to find you years later
To say I am cured I am me again.
My pain is healed
I love you.
But you were married.
I heard you have a daughter.
She is with your mother
Who cannot keep her
As she is very sick herself.
Since you and your husband
Had the car accident
I just want you to know
I will look after your daughter
Like you took care of me.
And she will be safe
And provided for.
I wish you could let me know
You understand.
That you wanted this.
Just then as if by magic
A cloud passed the moon
And its light lit up the headstone.
As if in answer to me
A beautiful monarch butterfly
Landed on my hand
Staying motionless for a full minute.
I knew she was there.
I touched the cold granite stone
And said  l always loved you honey.
And I always will.
I walked to the light of the street.
And felt it was far enough away.
So she could not hear me.
Sitting on a park bench.
I put my head in my hands
And I wept like a child.

18 months later

Belinda just turned thirteen
She is a beautiful child.
Looking just like her mother.
we never had children
At first we were afraid.
But after a week or two
We were in love with her
My wife and Belinda
Are like sisters and confidents.
They shop have lunch
And chat like best friends.
I do everything I can for her
She is the light of my life.
The adoption papers
were signed a month ago.
She makes me full of joy
and tears with a single action.
When the papers were signed
She threw her arms around my neck
and hugged me
Then she brought tears
to my eyes.
When she said
I love you dad.

Us

We share the same
wounds you and I.
Our blood is flowing
from our hearts.
But our hearts are in love
bleeding for each other.

We share the same scars you and I
Lasting memories of wounds passed.
They were made from forgiveness
And in forgiving one is forgiven.

We share the same love you and I
Unbreakable and everlasting
Rising as a phoenix each new day.

behind the churchyard grey and low
a stone wall where fragrant  Jasmine grows
its burnished green and tiny blooms
light up the darkness and the gloom.

away from noise of crowds and cars
the tiny white Jasmine stars
show joy and life and love like ours
oh! tiny bright sweet Jasmine stars

my heart once darker than these walls
answered the cry of your Jasmine calls
in our hearts  we joined never to part
blessed by lovely Jasmine stars.

Someone is playing a Spanish Guitar
By
Jude Kyrie

Sat alone at the edge of the warm ocean.
Nighttime illuminated brightly,
by a candelabra of moon and stars.
This hot humid night of summer
overpowering me dragging my spirits
Into its sultry mood.

In the distance
someone is playing Spanish guitar.
Its melody almost mournful.
Bringing back my thoughts of you.
Memories that scar heart and soul.
Wavelets lap the shore like your kisses
The night breezes are your sweet breath.
Reflections of a life half lived visit me once again.
.
far into the darkness
Someone is playing spanish guitar.
Note by note burning into my soul
reviving the lost feelings of desolation.

Morning is creeping over the horizon
This night is sinking into me.
Sleep now is only a distant memory.
You fade away with advancing light of morning.

Note by note in the distance
Someone is playing Spanish guitar
And my soul is weeping

I was born in the waves of music
so long ago now
when the music was faint.
barely audible almost silent.
I was a accident a beautiful one
but still an accident.
She was a concert pianist
he was a guitar player in a rock band.
they should have hated each other
but that's where I came in
they didn't.
her father was a control freak
all he could see was her career.
after my parents met
it was something at first sight.
They slept together
on a bench on a new York rooftop.
I guess you could say
that's where I came in.
Her father took her away
to her recital in California.
she did not even know his name.
but I found out later
she never married
nor did he.
When Mom found she was pregnant
her father said it must be adopted.
I became an it instead the baby
or my grandson or even the boy.
Mom had an accident
after the news she was
to put me up for adoption.
She ran into the street
and a bike courier hit her hard.
I was born
but her father
I still cannot call him gandfather.
forged her name on adoption papers.
when she woke up in hospital
he said the baby was lost.
that I did not make it.
I was put into the orphanage.
I never got adopted
I guess I was bit weird.
I listened to music everywhere
in the grass the street the wind.
and I knew somehow
She was out there.
I could feel it.
I became a musical prodigy at seven
I could write music without lessons.
I could play any instrument
you threw at me.
the nuns at the orphanage
sent me to juliard.
I was their youngest student at nine.
Then her father confessed
what he had done on his deathbed.
Mom searched and searched
until she released the adoption papers
with the forged signature.
she saw my photo for the first time.
she said that's him.
at juliard I wrote a symphony.
it was put forward to play
in central park for best new composers.
The moon played
its music loud that night
The park was full
and she was playing
the concert piano.
when my music played
it awakened in her heart
I could see her feeling it
she felt me.
She felt my music.
She felt her son.
The concert finished
they called me to the stage
to take a bow.
but she came to me
in her beautiful gown.
she was so pretty.
she held me in her arms
I felt for the first time
the softness of my mother.
her eye makeup
was running down
her beautiful face.
is it ..is it you she asked.
I kissed her cheek
and whispered yes mom.
thank you for the music.

I am writing poems to the ghost once more.
The ones that wail in the space
Where my heart once lived.
Where sadness dwells in oceans
And longing drowned in their depths?
Let the ink spill in blue words
like veins onto the paper.
Once you collected all the stars
From the galaxy.
You pressed them into my eager hands.
To guide you through
All the darkness of life you said.
How could I ever stop the gods
from taking you away?
The one who could collect stars.
When you left I folded my heart
into a love letter.
And slipped it quietly into your soul.
To take with you to eternity.
I promised myself to stop
writing to the ghost.
But they are all the
comfort that remains,
So I write to them one more time.
As the dying embers of your stars
fade in my hands one by one.

Most women prefer roses.
What is dear to me
is the hilltop on a windy
spring morning.
The proliferation of the
wildflowers like
a patchwork quilt
covering the hillside.
The waves of random colors
following the pure gust
of cool fresh air.
People call them weeds
but to me they are flowers
with wild free hearts.
That are as dependable
as the seasons.
They always bring me
a smile when the endless
days of winter
finaly surrender to spring.
But I love them mostly
because they remind me
of you .
My gentle giant.
You were always
the wildflower
I loved the most.

Your Secret Love

Like the quiet that takes the prayers
up beyond these golden stairs.
Like the glowing heat of loves desire
that burns silently inside like a fire.
like the silence of a child in sleep
without a sound its dreams it  keeps.
like the silent breath of a summer night
stirring softly sweet and light.
like the knowing glance in a lovers eyes
filled with silent need and sighs.
Like the silent stillness of the lake
waiting for the dark to break.

*is how I give myself to you

Every time we say goodbye.
by
Jude Kyrie


The ash line lengthens
From my untouched cigarette.
Smoke rings billow
Like clouds passing eternity.

Its past the time of sleep
Only memories flow
Only of you
always you..
The bartender
freshens my drink.

The music weeps from
The sweetness of sound
That only the alto sax
Can bring..
A nelson riddle arrangement
Touches my soul as always.

When you're near,
there's such an air of spring about it,
I can hear a lark somewhere,
begin to sing about it,
There's no love song finer,
but how strange
the change from
major to minor,
Everytime we say goodbye.

It's Ellas trademark song
But we borrowed it.
It was ours honey.
Just for a while.

The whisky burns my throat
As the saxaphone wails.
The ashtray smokes
You are behind its mist.

The bar is quiet and peaceful
The drinks dull all pain.
Outside the rain is falling
The neon lights color
the pavement
in muted reflections.

I see us again
through the window.
Arm in arm
walking in the rain.
Then you float away
Like the smoke
in my ashtray.

The sax builds the last line
Ella almost whispers
*Everytime we say goodbye

New York rainbow

*As a little girl he sat next to me at school.
I always liked him,  no, much more than that.
Later we walked home together.
He would carry my books.
At graduation he was my date.
We even went to college together.
We broke the chains of friendship and he became my lover.
My first and only love.
We married young it was no surprise
to our parents they were expecting it.
Before I knew it we had three kids, two girls and a boy.
Our son looks just like him.
It was just like any other day.
He came home from work.
Cooked burgers on the barbeque.
We got the kids to bed.
drank a glass of wine then went to bed at ten.
He wanted to make love but I was exhausted.
The kids had been terrors all day.
The next day he kissed me goodbye with a see you later honey.
I got a call from my friend she said put on the TV.
I saw the towers fall turning to ashes.
Like my life did that moment.
All I could think was I wish I had made love to him last night.

September 11 2015

The children are all grown up now
He would be so proud of them.
I look at my strong handsome son.
He looks like him exactly
We stand at ground zero and say a prayer.
I whisper it was always you honey.
Only you.
As if by magic he answered me
A giant beautiful rainbow
circled over New York
and I know it was for me.

Champagne

In the blue smoke rings I see her.
Beautiful to see her sweet smile again
On his arm she looks so lovely
In my hand a glass of champagne
We used to sit together
at that table in this bar.
Her eyes so bright and blue
Now she sits here close you.
Don’t let her look don’t let her see
Please don’t let her turn to look at me.
The cigarette smoke is burning in my eye
That’s why my tears are falling
Grown men just do not cry.
A drink it helps to fight the pain.
I lift my glass and sip Champagne.
They dance so happy close together  
Just them two upon the floor.
I leave my champagne on the bar.
And quietly walk out of the door.

The inner ciity school was big and noisy.
I remember being scared and ovewhelmed.
When I saw her for the first time
a cornucopia of colors In her flowing sari.
She floated no sound of footsteps.
Her skin perfectly brown
oh she was the most beautiful lady
I had ever seen.
I think she loved teaching more than life.
She would break an adult meetng
to  tend to a childs needs.
.Saying we must reschedule
I have a very important
meeting with my student
I must attend to.
she taught us patience and respect.
To listen to each other and to learn
from each person we spoke with.
she brought animals to the school
and introduced us to new species.
Everone wanted to be with her
when she taught us the class was silent
and every swoosh of her sari could be heard.
she stood by  the open window  of the classroom
Once and said listen can you hear it
I said its just silence Miss
she smiled and said no
it is the most beautiful
sound in the world
it is the sound of learning.
she would ask what new thing we had learned
since last she saw us.
A color a poem a book.
I think I learned how to learn from her.
She basked in her small successes.
Later she told us of the nurses a doctor
schoolteacher author and poet
that had spawned
from her class.
Now when I visit England I always try
to see her in her small retirement flat.
she pours green tea that she says comes from
the foothills of the himalayas still teaching me.
As I recount for her all the new things
I have learned in the years since I saw her last

Nightflight to Venus

I am told
Man is from Mars
And
Woman is from Venus.

So perhaps that is why
We are different you and I.
You with your plans and dreams
That fly through space
Like a blazing comet.

Me fastened to the earth
Perhaps too rooted
In its safe soil.
But my heart has fallen
In love with you

And so
I must follow it
on its journey
To your planet.
For without you
the color and light
fade from
my home here.

So tonight
My heart and I
Will catch the next
Space ship to Venus
And as I learn
To exist in its strange
atmosphere.
I will know
It was you
Who brought me there.

I know we are not the same you and I.
We move in two different worlds.
You with dreams that light up the night sky
Your fingers touch the sun
with hope and power.
Me so grounded
to mother earths green roots.
Perhaps too grounded.
I know you frighten me
with your flights
into the heavens.
But I will swallow my fears
like a pill.
And climb onto your flight
We will soar over the heavens
like graceful swallows.
And if ever I should fall
I will gaze forever
into the vastness of space.
And I shall know
that it was you
who took me there.

I remember the first time she said it.
I was fixing a bike for the kid upstairs.
It was soft almost a whisper.
She said I love you honey.
I was dumbfounded
getting oil from the bike chain
all over my shirt.
Say it again
I whispered please
say it again.
I love you
she uttered quietly.
I looked at her
so unsure of herself
almost quivering with
my unknown response.
But there was something
about her that grasped my heart
and I knew I would want
to hear her say it forever.
Then she got braver
I Love You. I Love You, I Love you
she shouted at full voice.
Like the words had been
on her tongue for a long time.
waiting to be said.
waiting to be heard.

adrift at sea

Jude Kyrie

my poetry has become
a seagulls cry.
my soul is adrift
on a becalmed sea.
This sailors wife has
knitted his death
into his sweater.
the sea shall swallow me.
Unoticed with its infinite greed.
The cloudless sky
will take my poems
and recite them in sea winds
from a place on high.
the verses now melt
Into a single sound.
my poetry has become
a seagulls cry.

When she threw me out
It was my fault I know.
The drinking had started again.
I slept in the car for days.
Locked out at night.
Yet still I drank
my job was lost.
but not as lost as me.
I remember waking
in the drunk tank.
I was ***** unshaven.
And my eyes were hollow.
She paid my bail.
I saw her through the bars
of the cell.
She was so beautiful.
And so clean and lovely.
She whispered quietly
"I always loved you."
"I still do."
I felt so ***** I needed
a shower and shave.
But living rough is hard.
I quietly said thank you
I love you too.
She touched my cheek
with her finger tips.
Like she used
to touch my skin
when we made love
In our clean bed.
She had tears in her eyes.
As she saw what I had become.
She said softly
You know I lost our son as well.
But tears filled my eyes
as I stumbled away
to that signpost
for the town of oblivion