You were speaking but the words had no sound.
I feel eveything as if the bad was little more then nothing.
As if the past became the future.
As if it was that first day again.
That first touch.

I miss you more then anything.
I just want to be alone.
Wounds don't heal if you keep opening them up.
Please..
Somebody..
I need a bandaid..

Tonight the gauz will be all im place but it will not matter.
I will pick the wound a final time.
I dosn't take alot to bleed out.
Just a memory.

I love june.
A feeling not even death could take.
A feeling inside me, brought only from you.
The perfection of beauty i get to call "baby."

I touch your beautiful face.
Then i remember.
Thats your picture.
This is december.

I saw you today.
I smiled.
Reminiscing on you, and i smiled.
This is new.

You are not mine.
But i smiled.
Because now i will never be yours.
Only mine.

You might hate me.
I don't mind.
I was your punching bag.
And now  i'm all mine.

I smiled today.
The thoughts of you are going away.
As the train prepared to **** my lifeless body,
I smiled.

You took everything when you left.
Now its my turn to leave.
This beauty is all mine.
You will never take this from me.

I am a person hiding in another. I scream but no one hears. I may only whisper,
when they let me. When i get them to drink enough or they want me to take the pain of the blade. Thats how i met her. She gave me the strength to stay.

Then she left.
And took my strength.

They punished me for holding them back. Imitated me and won her over. Then let Him out. He just wanted to impress her with His necklace. I screamd but she couldn't here. The belt only got tighter around His neck when she tried to take it off. He didn't know what was wrong. He wanted her to smile. He grabbed her. "Whats wrong?" She wriggled. "Whats wrong?" He squeezed. "Whats wrong?!" She broke free. "WHATS WRONG?!"

He only wanted to help.

I screamed blood from my knife when she never came back.
I don't blame her.
I will never forget that night.
She will never forgive that night.
I don't blame her.
The marks are still there.
Hers and mine.
I don't blame her.
The look of pure fear..
The look of my heart.

I don't blame her.

Do you feel that?
The feverish split second you decide the night is when you feel most alive and creep quickly, quietly, your heart hastening with every faulty step creating a domino effect of blood pumping mistakes that only you notice because only you are looking for them.
Of course you don't.
You grew up.

Lier.
You said you loved me.
Im only playing ninja.
But you are too grown up to play.
I hate it.
2 hours on a bike in snow higher then my thigh with an ice coverd road and nothing but regret.
You told me to do this.
Why did you lie?
I hate liers.
I know you still want to play.
You show it when i kiss you.
Growing up seperated us.
You are just as ****** up as me.
Don't lie.

I die everytime i see you.
And i see you every day.
I have a panick attack from the thought that you don't love me like you used to.
Im a drunk.
Im a ******* drunk.
Not a drop of alchohal in my blood but im always ******* drunk.
Im not what you think i am.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
Please. Im ******* begging.
Please.
That wasn't me.
You know that wasn't ******* me.
I know i did it.
But it wasn't ******* me.
I have night mares.
Please.
Please.
I dont want you back.
I ******* hate you.
Why do i ******* love you?
***** dont ******* touch me!
All i ever wanted was that touch!
Please forgive me..

They said "the world is yours to take"
Then put me in a school
And told me every move to make
Show'd me all the rules to break

Be like a normal kid
Do as he just did
I'd like to be myself for once
"Growing up" - keeping creativity hid