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 Apr 2014 Josh Murphy
R
I hate eating
I honestly cannot stop eating
Bread? More like carbs
More like heaven
Ice cream? FATFATFAT
I look fine, I'm not fat
I am also not on Varsity.
I could lose about 20-30 pounds...
Maybe I should just stop eating again
That is very unhealthy..
Fat girls don't get anywhere in life.
I have gone so far though...
Yeah, as far as the store to buy more sweets.
Shut up
I should just go cut, huh?
It would dishonor him.
I have been drowning for so long, I need to let the blood out.
Fine, go ahead.
Maybe even nick a vein on the way down...
hmm
 Apr 2014 Josh Murphy
Theia Gwen
Breaking hearts has become
Its own art form
Because love is a game
That belongs to those willing to conform
And for me, It's always been a losing battle
As I'm inclined to be left behind
The rules of love known by everyone but me
Written in an alien language I can't transcribe
Looking at others it appears
A mistake to become too attached
Because each love's a brief fire
A fleeting spark that burns too fast
And our emotions have become playthings
Start bragging about your track record
Because you're keeping score
And believe you deserve some kind of reward
And I see this all happening
I'll build my wall up to keep out everyone
And love's a game with foreign rules
Yet I've managed to break every single one
 Apr 2014 Josh Murphy
Theia Gwen
I am the spawn
Of a defective *****
And a reluctant egg
If there is a God
I'm sure he took
The utmost care
With his needle and thread
Because everyone will reap what they sow
And all I am is flaws
Stitched together
With good intentions
Because all my life
I've only ever had
Good intentions
And my heart is so full
Of love for other people
That there is none left for me
Let's talk Biology
There are over 37 trillion cells in a human body
That's ******* amazing
And every single cell is working with
A common purpose:
To keep you alive
So knowing that
Why do I so often find myself
Crying until I fall asleep
With thoughts that It would be better
If I didn't wake?
I also know the brain itself
Cannot feel pain
So maybe
My brain doesn't know
What it's doing to itself
As wicked thoughts
Dance from every synapse
Maybe it just has
Good intentions
Maybe my words could change someone
Maybe the letters I stitch so carefully
Could have some ounce of an impact on someone
And that's all I've ever wanted
But my thoughts will remain like hermits
Locked in a cage with no key
While I continue on with my good intentions
Because the road to hell
Has always been paved
By those with
Good intentions
 Apr 2014 Josh Murphy
Fel
Untitled
 Apr 2014 Josh Murphy
Fel
You beat me to the punchline
And gave me a black eye
With your lack of eye contact
Whenever you speak to me
Which isn't speaking
You say two words
Two. Words.
Hi.
And yeah.
Two ******* words.
Add some more
I can't remember your voice
Look me in the eyes
I can't remember their color
Do something!
Say **something!
Still dealing with this ****
 Apr 2014 Josh Murphy
Theia Gwen
My happiness is like the sun
Making it throughout the day
It's an internal clock, a circadian rhythm
The sun rises, and I have to act like it's okay
As the day goes on, it becomes easier
And at my peak, I'll illuminate the sky
Celestial and vibrant, I'll burn bright
But It's not good enough no matter what I try
And then I'll start sinking
As day turns to night
And coldness will sink into every crevice and hole
Watch the horizon as the world slips into twilight
Cause I'm the most beautiful when I leave
And no one will see any of my wounds
Just as no one can see
The dark side of the moon
And dear Luna will steal my glow
And keep the night owls company
Because my life is dark
And I don't want anyone to see
But then even the moon will fall
And my time will come again
I'll rise and shine, act perfectly fine
And like the sun, this pattern will never end
The title is a reference to Numb by Marina and The Diamond because it fit and I always turn to Marina when I'm lost.
 Mar 2014 Josh Murphy
i
untitled
 Mar 2014 Josh Murphy
i
there is nothing prettier
than a city at 5 am
with its empty streets and
cold wind.
all rights go to d.c.
 Mar 2014 Josh Murphy
Fel
Self Doubt
 Mar 2014 Josh Murphy
Fel
If you ever even knew
How much I question myself
In the name of you
Then you'd probably give me more
Than a mere moment or two
 Mar 2014 Josh Murphy
R
She likes you too
So?
I see her (sometimes) as a threat
Rach, you're mine. Only mine
She is great, but what if I lost?
Shes not you
I always lose
Im yours, you won
The war is already done
What war, There is no competition, Rach
I can't lose, please don't leave me
I won't
I've already lost
*Rach...
Just some thoughts. Not real. Just something that could happen... Hmm....
Crush me,
Push me to the floor,
And force my,
Bleeding knees upon,
The splintered wood,
You tore apart,
With heartfelt lust
And let our brackets,
Slowly rust.

what we could be,

Just turn to dust.
Scribble
 Mar 2014 Josh Murphy
L
10w
 Mar 2014 Josh Murphy
L
10w
I am slowly (but surely)
   stumbling
      crashing
         falling
            for you...
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