Where are you?
Where have you gone?
I am waiting for you, love.
Waiting
For you.

Are you in the North?
In the South?
In the East?
In the West?
Where are you, love?

Have you lost your way,
Sailing an unknown sea?
Have you lost your way,
Trekking a forbidden forest?
Have you lost your way,
Soaring through the stars?
Come back to me, love.

The world is a treacherous place,
Be careful
The world is a dangerous place,
Beware
But most of all
The world is a dying planet.
Be watchful, love.

Are you sinking in a soft black marsh,
With none to help you?
Are you drowning in a bottomless well,
With none to rescue you?
Are you lying captive to nightmares,
With none to comfort you?
Return to my side, love.

The world is a liar's palace,
Watch out
The world is a thief's delight,
Caution
But most importantly
The world will soon be no more.
Take heed.

So where are you, love?
Where did you go?
I am waiting for you, love
Return to my side, love.
Come back
To me.

Scraggly,
In face and heart
Staggering
By the harbor,
A celebratory place
For families to flock
And sight-see the city
By the ships and the docks.
While the sea gulls fight
Over scrimpy scraps,
A lone man traverses,
Seized by mind traps.
Disoriented by the shadows
Of his past,
Taunting and tampering
With his freedom, at last,
He's broken his vow of silence
He promised he could pass.
Reality so far removed
From his ruminations.
Passerby's passively wonder
What attracted him to the concrete.
Overactive imagination
Is an answer I'd repeat.
Occasionally another may marvel,
Where is his family?
Waiting in vain,
In the background,
In the rain,
Devoid of way to entertain
The possibility to take the reigns
Away from his deceptive beast
That guides his woeful way,
Fighting for fistfuls of his feast -
A price he has to pay
For having an untreated illness.
Now I have no say
In pillows or cement.
He chose the latter.
Now all I can do is feel lament.
If you see my father,
You may see kindness in his eyes,
A mind that's rapidly firing,
Comforting words to himself he's ironing.
If you see my father -
You may see him time and again,
You may see him in the sea gull,
Harmlessly scavenging,
Heartily conversing,
Heartbreakingly existing -
If you see my father,
Let him exist
However he chooses.
I have no choice
But to do the same.

Once you fall in love with
An artist, an empath,
A writer, a musician,
A feeler, a healer,
A giver, a lover,
There is no going back
To an ordinary life.

I want to sleep
The kind of want that burns in your chest
Reaching for something that isn’t there
Being shut out over and over again
I can’t turn it off
The thoughts are being thrown around my head
Like a snitch  in a quidditch match
Mythical, impossible
And yet there it is buzzing
Bouncing off the sides of my head
Waiting to be caught
I count back from ten like usual
Doesn’t work
I play deep sleep sounds on Alexa
Brains still on
Make it shut off!!!!
Make the feelings of helplessness disappear
To sleep is to dream
To dream is to escape
Just one night of escape is all I ask
I shut my eyes and my dreams begin to dance
Finally

My tears hit my pillow pooling in my hair
The sound of their laughter  drowns out my despair
Countless nights I can’t reach slumber
From all the thoughts that hold me under
I thought you were different and better than them
You’re just the same like many other men
You say you love me while I give and you take
You grab my arms - shake, shake, shake
You say I should love you that you’re a new guy
I see your lips moving and all I hear is lie,lie,lie
My makeup covers the bruises and cuts
Left from last night after it got “a little rough”
I head downstairs for a dinner I prepared
Wondering if they’ll notice my newly damp  hair
I fake a smile for latest guest to arrive
You lay on the charm, you’re a “helluva guy”
Piece by piece I try and make some sense
While our neighbors wave goodbye from our white picket fence..