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 May 2016 john p green
m i a
i slowly began to open myself up again,
so i can see the galaxies flow from within,
so i can see the stars fall apart,
just like my heart did,
the only bad thing about this is,
i'm going back to where i started.
this is a personal poem, so most of you wouldn't understand this.
The scenery changes
As day becomes night
Nature takes its course
With the moonlight shining bright
Nothing ever stays the same
Moments will come to pass
Embrace the life that you live
There is no telling how long it will last
i will not live my life to simply pay the gas bill... i assure you not... i will not live my life to forget, forget via paying a gas bill or the local tax.*

what are we, to mention mortal
man and his grievances?
what are we?! if nothing but statued marble
worshipped! akin to mortals' concept
of thrown stones across the lake!
you know, you are allowed a Kandinsky or a *******
moment in poetry:
it's like the development of the cut-up technique
beginning with Tristan Tzara and the Dada "school"
of "thought", developed later by William Burroughs
et al., it doesn't have to be fixated to a definite
curvature, a smooth narrative, this is poetry
in a boat, during a storm on the sea, it's not a Cambridge v.
Oxford boat race on the pristine Thames...
some critics ascribe such methodology as either
outright stupid or by psychiatric definition a word
salad
, but it's simply kaleidoscopic juxtaposition,
it really is a dog drooling ultraviolet saliva onto a
canvas, while someone shakes his head
(preferably a bulldog, or a boxer, or a St. Bernard)...
oh look at him, such ***** eyes, gotta just cuddle him...
i'm not using newspaper snippets, as if writing
a stalker's letter, cutting out letters and gluing them
together on a piece of paper... it's spontaneous
combustion (most of the time)... the only method in it
is that there isn't a method to begin with...
unless randomisation of a gaseous substance with
that hectic squash game of atoms is the adequate
simile... if i were to say that was a metaphorical comparison
i'd be walking through foggy streets of London (circa 1884):
after all words have only a one dimensional interaction
that's the existential recipient of all of them,
the existentially affirmative aye - i left the other
affirmative word thought among the others,
since, sometimes, as in the cases of melancholia, thought
isn't necessarily categorised as affirmative, relegating,
drowning the prime affirmative aye with its awkward
structure (form)... all the words must pass through the ego,
not all of them have to pass through thought,
the ones that bounce against the squash cube wall that's
ego make it onto the page... more do so when compared
with treating thought as the wall and the effective structure
for the rubber ball to bounce against.
me playing squash? oh yes, very much so, loved it,
played about 4 times a week, better than tennis,
which is why no squash tournaments are televised, it's
not really a spectator sport, it's too enjoyable to have
a passive public... it's a sport with the player in mind,
like a horse attached to a carriage with those shutters
over their eyes; so now what? is poetry not allowed to
look like a ******* painting, randomised and incoherent
when compared to the standard practices of narrators?
I live in the present
I hold no resentment in my heart
I care because it makes me feel good
Not because I need the attention
I have a future
A bright future
I accept stress and use it as fuel
I embrace my past and the moments I regret
I understand that I am unique
Unlike anyone
I accept who I have become
 May 2016 john p green
Stephan
.

I used to look forward to the sunrise,
soft watercolor whispers blushing
to the east in rose petal hues
on a perriwinkle sky
as I awoke each morning –



But now they are nothing more than
drab bookends to another day in my life
I wish had never been written



*– and I adored the vibrant sunset,
citrus splashed heavens shimmering
in tangerine and lemon zest
effervescence on the western horizon
as my day neared its end
You touch me
And all of a sudden
The fish are drowning
Swimming, breathless
Towards the surface
Where the air is turning into
Fairy dust
Painting the sky in
A thousand different colors

Then you're gone
Fairies aren't real
The sky is just blue
The helpless fish
Are being cooked
And paintings are just paintings
Even if they remind me of you
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