I still smile when I think of you
I  can still feel your skin on mine
And
I know you never meant to hurt me
Even though you did
And I feel guilty I couldn't be the one to save you
Even though I shouldn't
I'll miss hearing you talk about the things you love
I'll miss being a part of that list
I'll miss being able to share all of myself with you
And although when we next meet
Time will have deepened our wrinkles
And deepened our understanding
I need you to know
I will never be far from you

I wasn't ready.
I never wanted this.
But you took the time
To convince me.
You built me up
And I told you,
You would leave me
But you took my hand
And showed me a future
When you knew from the  beginning
It would end like this.

I want to tell you not to forget me
To think of my face and smile
Of time we spent talking and touching
But loving really wasn't my style.
I thought it'd be easier to be alone
I'd done it for so many years before
But when I remember your voice, dear
I realised I'd always wanted more.
But of course right now I have nothing
I ruined it all, I know
I am my own worst enemy
I don't blame you for letting me go.
I want to tell you not to forget me
But perhaps it is best that you do
Move on in your life without me
And leave me with just memories, of you.

I think of you always.
I see you
In a stranger's face,
I hear you
In a friend's laugh
I think of everything about you
That I loved
And everything I didn't
And I use our time together
As a template, a guideline
A checklist
Of everything to avoid.
I think of you always,
A toxic reminder
That I am better off
Alone.