They said, “The easiest thing is to live a lie”,
Is it really that easy?
The story took place couple years back,
That night, I cannot forget.
That evening, I don’t want to face.
Because I lied to not just a friend,
To myself,
To my parents beliefs.
I lied because,
I was afraid to lose a friend.
So yes, it was an easy option.
After the meet in the evening,
We went separate ways,
Back to home.
That night,
I wanted to sleep but my eyes gave up,
I wanted to eat but my stomach gave up,
I wanted to write but my fingers gave up,
I wanted to cry but tears dried up,
4 hours went by,
Just walking here and there thinking,
What happens if he finds out?
I will lose a friend
And once again alone I will be.
It was now 1:00 AM,
Night as dark as dark can be,
I went out and sat under a tree,
My heart was afraid but my brain gave up,
I could feel the blood rushing through my heart but,
My brain boggled with the same thought.
This feeling,
I pray none of you ever feel.  
So, I repeat my friends,
It is not easy to live a lie.
Telling the truth and making someone cry,
Is better than telling a lie and making someone smile.

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.

On a scale from one to ten.
I think about you 24/7.